OnE SteP aT a TiMe

burdened

2010-08-06T19:40:00.003+07:00

sometimes i feel that i cant make decision and i am not a capable person. and i think too much and i take matters too seriously n i handle things all by myself. n i become depressed.
is this some kind of an illness? a personality disturbance disorder?

when actually i'm really2 glad n relieved if someone advises n reminds me that i can delegate the matters, i dun have to handle the burden all by myself..im not alone..really2 appreciate it..do remind me, cause im used to handle things all by myself.

rindu padanya

2010-05-17T20:54:00.002+07:00

di saat2 saya merasa PMS atau kesabaran berada di tahap paling minimal, hati merasa tidak tenang, jiwa mencari-cari kesalahan. tiba-tiba sy teringat pada seorang teman yang sangat istimewa di jiwa saya. Saya rindu padanya. sangat rindu padanya. saya rindu senyuman di wajahnya yang tak pernah sirna, tak pernah saya lihat wajahnya bermuram durja atau mendung. matanya selalu bercahaya. saya rindu pelukan hangat eratnya terutama setelah kami selesai solat jemaah atau ketika hendak berpisah. dia seorang yang sangat rendah hati. mengabdikan hidupnya di medan dakwah. 24 jam 7 hari sehari. setiap usrah atau ta'lim yang dia beri selalu memberi impak pada orang yang mendengar. jarang dia bercakap sia-sia, tak pernah saya dengar dia membicarakan tentang orang lain. orangnya...sangat zuhud..tak pernah berkira soal duit. walaupun saya tahu dia tengah tak ada duit. masyaAllah..akhlaknya...buat saya sayang dan sanggup buat apa2 untuk dia tanpa perlu dipaksa..walaupun saya taklah selalu jumpa dia..kami tinggal jauh universiti pun berbeza..tapi setiap kali dapat luangkan masa dengan dia saya rasa istimewa dan tenang dan sayang padanya..mungkin ini yang dinamakan 'sayang kerana Allah'. tak selalu jumpa tapi rasa akrab dan rindu. dan dia sangat hebat. berjaya hidupkan komuniti insan-insan yang sama-sama mencintai Allah dan sanggup berkorban apa sahaja di jalan dakwah dengan akhlak yang subhaanallah...hebat...hati rasa warm dan damai bila bersama dengan mereka..terasa bibit-bibit kehidupan para sahabat di zaman rasulullah..mungkin ini adalah hasil tarbiyyah yang hebat dan tidak pernah kenal henti dan putus asa.. manisnya...saya kagum dengan dia...saya tak mampu nak jadi macam dia..malahan saya selalu je tak berjaya nk kawal emosi saya..ya Allah perbanyakkanlah orang seperti dia ya Allah biar bumi ini terasa sejuk dengan insan-insan berkualiti yang menyayangi orang lain kerana cintakan akhirat dan rindu untuk bertemu denganMu..ya Allah jadikanlah aku walaupun tak mampu sehebat dia..tapi sejalur dengan jalan yang diambil dia...dia tak akan saya lupakan...saya nak bagi anak saya nama dia..saya nak anak-anak saya jadi hebat seperti dia..yang tetap istiqamah..dan ya Allah tetap istiqamahkanlah dia...dan diriku..agar generasi pewaris nabi tetap ada di muka bumi ini....

saya malas

2010-02-23T12:15:00.002+07:00

i am lazy.
i had just realized this fact.
i only study to pass exams and i pick topics that are likely to be out in exams.
sepatutnye i must be competent in any topics!!
take an example:
my penguji is a cardiologist. n i was superconfident that my case will be patient jantung.
so i studied only cardio n CHF.
tiba2 i dapat cirrhosis hepatis.
tak baca langsung.
haha.padan muka.
p/s: hope lessons learnt.

naikkan mood

2010-02-22T16:07:00.004+07:00

tgh takde mood. saje letak gamba ni. secara random. besok exam.. doakan saya!

sleepyhead

2010-02-18T15:27:00.000+07:00

my exam is a few days away n yet here i am with a sleepyhead. my treshold level for exam panicking has increased significantly and look at me, i havent started studying yet. indeed, at all. is this the weigh on effect after being a practical medical student for almost a year? do every practical medical student experience this "futurness" in studies? i don't know, might do a research on that one day. or is it maybe because of i'm having guests at my home, so im making it as an excuse to escape studying (as in having to entertain the guests ahaha). anyhow, gladly i'm done submitting my syarat ujian and lets hope everything goes smoothly, and i'll be ready to face mY OSCE and written exam safe n sound by next week. just wondering who i might get for my exam, will it be dr Bowo? or dr Hemi? or dr Rieska?etc? pinning my hopes high. lets pray hard while waiting for tomorrow.

choices

2010-02-14T02:44:00.002+07:00

life is about choices. ada beberapa titik di dalam hati. tidak begitu best. macam terlalu dipaksakan. susah nak explain.

awak

2010-02-13T05:44:00.002+07:00

hurin, awak buat saya tersentuh dan terhibur. tasha, awak buat hati saya yang sedih mekar semula..=)
jazakallah Allah untuk semua kasih sayang ini..

its by the remembrance of Him that heart finds rest

2010-02-13T05:16:00.002+07:00

it is officially clear that im being tested these past few days. at first it seemed hard. matters of the heart is always hard n difficult to mend. but Allah is indeed the best planner. His tests are means for us to get closer to Him. for the first few days i was at lost, difficult to breath, with tears streaming down unpredictably. But He makes us mend our ways, find our way back home. reflecting back what we have done, makes us turn our head back to Him. its like a knock on the head or a soft pat on our back reminding us that maybe somehow without realizing we have lost our ways. And alhamdulillah, with his Grace and mercy, i am much more at peace. Allah only tests those that He loves, and i hope that i am much loved by Him. May the outcome of this is something best for me and the other parties. InsyaAllah.

peringatan diri

2010-02-08T20:19:00.003+07:00

selesai solat magrib tadi kami membaca ta'lim mengenai khusyuk dalam solat. saya merasa sangat terkesan bahawa sebenanye sudah lame saya tidak khusyuk dalam solat saya. rupe2nye selama ini tanpa disedari saya telah selalu " mencuri di dalam solat". pasti kenyang syaitan2 yang berjaya menghasut saya selama ini. hadits yang kami baca itu mengatakan bahawa penyebab hati tidak khusyuk adalah syubhat dan syahwat. *batuk*. ya Allah, cinta sangat ke kita ini pada dunia? hingga terlalu sulit untuk khusyuk. kadang2 cinta dunia tumbuh subur dalam hati tanpa kita sedari. ya Allah berilah kekuatan kepada diriku untuk meninggalkan perkara2 syubhah dan syahwat agar solatku mendapat nilai lagi di sisimu. jangan Kau biarkan aku terus lalai. tersenyum walaupun solatku tidak sempurna dan tidak bernilai di mata Mu. jangan biarkan hatiku yang sedang sakit ini menjadi mati ya Allah. peringatkanlah diriku dari waktu ke waktu. bantulah aku untuk menjauhi perkara yang dapat menjauhkan diriku dariMu walaupun hatiku menyukainya. amin amin amin.

welcome ummi!

2010-02-08T19:51:00.002+07:00

ummi adalah panggilan saya kepada new hausmet saya yang bernama hidayah. oh ya, lupe mau beritahu, ummi menggantikan azra sebagai penghuni kamar no 3 rumah saya. mungkin teman2 sudah tau yang azra berpindah ke kos baru atas sebab sudah berkahwin. ya, betul. sudah menjadi isteri orang. alhamdulillah beliau telah selamat melangsungkan perkahwinan dengan arif, teman sekelas mahupun seangkatan kami pada tanggal 3o jan yang lalu. satu lagi teman akrab saya sudah lari jauh meninggalkan saya. kenangan manis suka duka tinggal bersama mulai dari tahun kedua tak akan sekali-kali saya lupakan. semoga sampai ke anak cucu kami tetap rapat. amin. semoga azra bahagia menempuh hidup baru. yang jelas, azra bahagia, saya juga tumpang bahagia sama.

walaupun sedih tapi patah tumbuh hilang berganti. hadirnya hidayah aka doyot aka doy2 aka ummi kembali menceriakan suasana kehidupan kami. saya panggil beliau ummi sebab beliau sangattt keibuannn. saya suka sangat kacau ummi dan manje2 dgn ummi. ummi suka memasak. baru 2 minggu ummi pindah saya sudah tambah berat badan sebanyak * kg. kini setiap hari dapur rumah saya berasap. secara tidak langsung saya juga jadi belajar menajamkan bakat memasak saya yang selama ini memang selalu tumpul. 2minggu lepas adalah minggu orientasi saya untuk menjadi iron chef. hahahaa*gelak besar*. kira oklah, skarang ni saya takdelah sebuta kuali seperti dulu lagi. hahaha*gelak lagi*. ummi juga selalu ajak untuk solat berjemaah. stlh solat bersama, salah seorang dari kami akn membaca ta'lim kerana ummi mempunyai banyak buku2 agama yang diletak di rak buku di ruang tamu. iya, buku beliau banyak seperti perpustakaan. al-maktabah. sedikit sebanyak terisi juga hati saya yang selalu naik turun tak tentu arah sejak masuk koas ini. semoga Allah tetap menyatukan hati-hati kami dalam ikatan ukhuwwah atas kasih sayangnya. sesungguhnya Allah amat menyayangi saya. saya merasa sangat disayangi. dari dahulu saya dikurniakan teman-teman serumah yang selalu menyejukkan hati, menerima saya apa adanya dan menganggap seperti adik beradik. susah senang dilalui bersama. benarlah, suasana rumah dan penghuni rumah yng damai memang menentukan kedamaian hati. sekurang-kurangnya bila sudah stress dengan kerenah2 orang di luar rumah atau kesibukan di hospital, pabila pulang ke rumah hari menjadi sejuk dan damai. rumahku syurgaku. kepada ummi, with warmest regard, welcoming u to be a part of us..the b29ers..smoga ummi suke tinggal di sini bersame kami-kami yang cacat ini..

Life's worth

2010-01-26T01:17:00.001+07:00

Summer night on the 4th of July and we're hanging outside
I take my kids downtown to watch fireworks fly
As the light flicker in my daughters eyes
I think about the plight of a war torn child
And how these same sights and sounds make them cry

And how much is this life worth, is what I say to you
As I sit here right now, watching the evening news
And how much is this life worth, cause it cant be true
We're dying over different points of view
We're dying over different points of view
So how much is this life worth to you.

It five o-clock and Im rushing home like I always do
I call ahead to my wife and kids and say I'll be there soon
I put the radio on, and the announcer speaks
Of a man rushing home just in time to see
His house blown to rubble with his family beneath

And how much is this life worth, is what I say to you
As I sit here right now, watching the evening news
And how much is this life worth, cause it cant be true
We're dying over different points of view
We're dying over different points of view
So how much is this life worth to you.

How much is this life worth,
How much is this life worth,
How much is this life worth,
How much is this life worth,

We say we stand for justice for all, but what about babies when bombs fall
How much is their life worth to you
And when we say we answer the call of Allah
But is it the way of Rasoolullah
How much is his life worth to you

Yah Allah, help us make dua

And how much is this life worth, is what I say to you
As I sit here right now, watching the evening news
How much is this life worth, cause it can't be true
That we're dying over different points of view
So how much is this life worth to you.

So how much is this life worth to you?

(A nasyeed by Native deen )

Jangan Hampiri Zina

2010-01-26T00:24:00.001+07:00

Abu Hurairah r.a. yang bermaksud:"Sesungguhnya telah tertulis (ditetapkan), bagi setiap anak Adam (manusia) bahagian mereka daripada zina yang pasti dia akan dapat tanpa kecuali (kecuali dengan izin Allah). Maka zina mata ialah dengan melihat, zina lidah ialah dengan bercakap, zina hati (jiwa) dengan berangan-angan dan berkeinginan (nafsu syahwat), dan (bergantung kepada) kemaluanlah sama ada untuk membenarkan (keinginan itu), atau menafikannya."(Hadis Riwayat Bukhari, Kitab al-Qadar, No 6122; Kitab al-Isti'dhan, No.5774. Juga diriwayatkan oleh Muslim, Kitab al-Qadar, No 4801; juga oleh Abu Dawud dan Imam Ahmad)

i wish

2009-11-11T21:46:00.002+07:00

i wish that im smart
i wish that im focused
i wish that little matters do not bother me
i wish that i know how to save other people
i wish that i find peace
i wish that Allah wipes away all of my fears
and i wish that Allah grants me all of my wishes

and i tink i rili miss...

2009-07-03T22:05:00.001+07:00

SMKA MAAHAD MUAR!!!!
rindunyaaaaaa!!! nak balik sekolahhhhhhhhh!!

doakan husna ok

2009-07-03T01:37:00.002+07:00

husna eksiden. dgn ecad. pukul 10 mlm td. kak huda baru call td bgtau. ecad bwk husna naik moto tak ada lampu n tak pakai helmet. then langgar lubang sebab tak nampak. tak tahula mane ecad dpt moto tu. kat rumah tak ada moto pon. ada kereta je. apetah lahh lagi moto yg tak ada lampu. huhu. husna kene jahit 14 jahitan. banyak tu kot. tak tau kat bagian kepala mane. tapi dah xray alhamdulillah tak ade internal injury, doc kata insyaAllah xada pape. skrg mak stay kt hospital jaga husna dkat wad doktor nk monitor kalau2 ada tanda peningkatan intracranial pressure. doakan husna ok ye semua..risau pulak rasanye. rasa nk marah kt ecad pon ade. tapi tgh tekan STOP button. sy muda2 dulu pun nakal juge kot. huhu. lain laa rasanya bile family sendiri yg kene. risauuuuuuu. hope xde ape2, insyaAllah. barulaa faham ape yg family mangse-mangse eksiden slame ni rase. herm, doakan ye semua smoga husna, adik kecil 6 tahun yang comel dan periang saya itu baik-baik saja..aminn. (skarang sy dah bangun sy kene stadi DV....DV DV dan DV....+_+...ohhhh sy tak suka bgn malam2 utk belaja sorang2....)

i can do it

2009-06-17T21:01:00.002+07:00

there has been a phase in my life where my thirst for knowledge and my perseverance in studies are at peak. i've done it, and im sure i can do it once again.

~End of Surgery department, welcoming dermatovenerealogy~

Malaysia, on Friday i'll return!

when things were so normal

2009-05-09T06:55:00.003+07:00

emang sekarang dah x normal ke?

a simple note, a self reminder.

2009-05-08T22:48:00.004+07:00

underwent almost a month of my clinical rotation. i've realized that:
1) TIME is a modality. for ur dunya n akhirat, once it ticks, it could never be bought back. think
about it.
2) lalai is an enemy. realize this please. it attacks u from the insides and outsides. its like sleeping
with the enemy.
3) talking and bothering about other people is a mechanism of distraction. it distracts u from
focusing on ur own weakness and life purpose. seriously dangerous.
4) i felt that some people have stopped considering that humans' lives are valuable. i wonder if i'll
ever become likewise. nauzubillah.
5) purifying the heart is the only solution to survive in this chaotic world ur living in. and its not
an easy job. it needs constant reminder from time to time.
6) there are so many things n knowledge to be memorized. its funny n scary how short lived my
memories are. figuring out ways to improve them.
7) God, dont lead me astray. im so weak. and fragile. i beg U Lord.

"Aku melihat ke syurga maka kebanyakan dari penghuni penghuninya adalah orang2 miskin. Dan aku melihat pula ke neraka, maka kelihatan olehku kebanyakan penghuninya ialah wanita." (HR Muslim)

bila rindu

2009-04-06T08:55:00.003+07:00

when i say im undergoing the most languorous phase of my life, i really mean it. but yet, i cant help but miss this supercute missable little girl,

the girl with a plastic of jajan in her right hand, with the buncit perut and seluar senteng warna biru, how i miss! miss husna sofia...

4 days' countdown

2009-03-09T11:28:00.003+07:00

exactly 4 days before my sis' big event. and im partially tired, after a week busy on helping to prepare the doorgifts and aparently lately got infected with upper respiratory tract infection (URTI). i cant help but recall my comprehensive test since URTI was exactly the topic i got for my clinical reasoning. uhuh. and it went bad. malaise, feverish, fluish, muscle and joint pain with a slight headache n yeah, precisely ANKLE PAIN, n a sore throat. huhu.

and my parents have started the 'kerahan tenaga' regime. spring cleaning the house. in a few days my house will be packed n jammed with relatives and friends near n far. and i havent renewed my passport yet. sadly im returning to jogja next tuesday. and im considering on going private blogging. like doyot. hehhe.

masa

2009-02-14T03:04:00.002+07:00

meluangkan masa sebentar utk menulis. tinggal 11 hari sebelum the big day, hari ujian paling penting, hari H. (25 minus 11). rasanya sangat2 belum bersedia. dah lama xprektis dgn kwn2 main dokter2, tlg sgt2 doakan sy. smlm call mak. mak cerite ttg dirinya yg semakin sibuk (*sgt comel) dgn bilangan pelajar tuisyen yg semakin bertambah + beberapa anak jiran yg minta diajarkan mengaji (* senyum). fatimah dan kak huda pula akn pulang ke rumah esok (fatimah pulang lagi??). mak mintak sy bagi nasihat n semangat ke tma yg sering rasa dirinya inferior krn dikelilingi org2 yg hebat dan berkompetensi dkt UM tu. sy senyum lagi. adekku, jgn rasa2 grogi, buat je. then ttg man yg dah tak rmbut gondrong, rambut makin banyak, his new style for the year 2009 as last yer's prisonbreak scoffield was his 'style in theme'. husna pula semakin cerdik di tabika kemasnya, dan apparently hari2 pressure mak utk nyanyi2 bersamanya, byk betul cikgu tadika dia ajar nyanyi!
tak sangka lg 11 hari je nk balik malaysia. rindu, sangat2 rindu. dgr suara mak dpt semangat baru. kene buat sungguh2 jgn hampakan mak. kejayaan kita mestilah kegembiraan mak. sy hitung lagi masa yg sudah sia2 plus masa yg masih sisa. nampak gaya sy kene pecut! n sy kene berkorban. mungkin sy tak pergi wedding ribki di tuban ptg sabtu ni. sbb tuban tu 4jam dari jogja, mesti sy akn penat nanti stlh kembali ke jogja isnin nnti. kemudian upimi pula ada buat rihlah ke pantai, betolak ptg sbtu ini juga, mungkin sy tak pegi juga. maaf sgt2. bak kata doyot-aku rasa aku perlu masa utk diri sendiri, herm betul2. to doyot n nanie, get well soon dari luka accident! smoga Allah beri kekuatan. .

*kewajipan n tanggungjawab kita melebihi masa yg kita ada- As Syahid Hassan Al Banna.
Mampukah kita nk buang masa lagi? bagaimana nk jwb dgn malaikat mungkar dan nakir nanti?
ingat Allah, jgn sia2kan nikmat masa yg dah dikurniakan, ingat mak n ayah, jgn hampakan perasaan mereka! usaha selagi ada masa....

saya rasa cemas..

2009-02-05T18:50:00.002+07:00

bila memikirkan hari esok, sy rasa cemas

mungkin kerana byk lagi lecture notes yg belum sy sentuh

mungkin juga kerana dh berjanji pada diri sendiri utk belajar bersungguh-sungguh since ini adalah blok terakhir sy. tambahan lagi, markah tutorial sy baru-baru ini agak jelik, memandangkan sy seolah-olah dah hilang minat pd tutorial, maklumlah, blok terakhir...teruk kan? jd plan sy adalah utk pulun ujian kali ini, tp nampak gaya, hangat2 tahi ayamlah sahaja.

selain itu, sy ada rasa cemas utk perkara-perkara lain juga. bila fikirkan hari-hari esok. and bila sesetengah perkara melibatkan perasaan org lain. rasa bersalahnya. tak sampai hati.

erm..wajar ke sy merasa cemas. tp memang itu yg saya rasa. blog sy ni mmg byk cerita pasal perasaan kan..tolong ignore je la saya..ya Allah, hilangkanlah cemas di jiwa dan hati sy ni..gantilah dgn keimanan dan keyakinan yg tiada galau ganti..doakan sy ye ujian besok..;)

i-want-the-truth!

2009-02-04T17:11:00.002+07:00

these past few days, i get really confused thinking about some things
the world is so confusing at these times

bottomline, i want and demand the truth!and i wanna seek for the truth on my own!!

the prophet's hand

2009-01-26T06:31:00.003+07:00

when globalization is taking its course, and we move too swiftly,unable to catch our breath,our senses are blunted and our sights blinded, remember, human beings are still the same-we all need the same basic bottom elements since the invent of time;- love, care and attention.

Cos that's what i feel when my pace is going too fast and i can't pause;- i miss to catch up with old friends, not having a glimpse how their lives have changed so, i forget to notice how the flowers in our garden is blossoming beautifully with its different colours, and i too become indifferent to the change of weather and the evolution of time, it seems as if the time freezes. and most importantly, i become cranky, cold to people, forgetting how to show love and care when its the most vital thing that me myself actually need. sometimes we just forget that we all need the prophet's hand,

The Propet’s hands, silken smooth and soft to touch,
sometimes we need those hands so much,
to feel them clasp our own, let us know we’re not alone.
The Prophet’s hands, as we toil in the square, come up behind us unaware.
Playful palms across our eyes, teasing to help us realize,
We need the jesting, joking, calming - Prophet’s hands.

So remind me, when im moving too fast, and my pace cant pause that i need to slow down, relax, and rerevise what are the priorities in my life. whenever seriousness is my only default face mode-and i've forgotten how to smile - refresh me that its ok to joke and cheerfulness is essential to exist in this world-cause that's wut i really need-for u to show me that u actually do care.deep down inside.

The Prophet’s hands,
silken smooth and soft to touch
sometimes we need those hands so much,
to feel them clasp our own and let us know we’re not alone.
The Prophet’s hands, If they could take over the reigns,
if they could take away the strains,
guide us to the end with the patience of a friend.

Oh Allah, sometimes we need the prophet's hands,
Oh Allah, sometimes we miss the prophet's hands....

one step at a time

2009-01-21T20:43:00.004+07:00

my upcoming important schedule:
5&6 feb: international health and management of new emerging diseases block exam
23-25 feb: the MOST IMPORTANT EXAM THROUGHOUT MY THEORETICAL MEDICAL YEARS- comprehension test!

27 feb- flying back to MALAYSIA =)
14 mac- compre test result announcement
14 & 15mac- beloved sis huda's wedding!
17 mac- flying back to JOGJA
23mac- if Allah's willing and if i pass compre test, i wil be entering clinical rotation. if not, i'll be entering a month later..

alhamdulillah my thesis exam had been done last week, it went quite well n alhamdulillah we surpassed for an A..=). rite now being superbusy as usual, im concentrating on getting my publication paper done, so that it will all be over quickly. i have many things to tell. later i'll tell bout our 'Untukmu Palestine' forum with MER-C the other day..

chayok...sungguh2..n sincere yaa..one step a time =)

inspirasi (how i miss Rasulullah)

2009-01-20T22:03:00.001+07:00

Diriku berlari
Kejar buih di kaki sirahmu
Malangnya tak jumpa
Hilang ditelan ombak masa

Lelah aku
Dan termangu di sini
Mencari sinar

Ku cuba mengutip
Butir bistari di pesisir kalammu
Inginku sematkan
Menghiasi dada kehidupanku

lalu terang destinasi abadi
Di hujung langkahku

Kau inspirasi
Jiwa nan suci
Inginku terus selami

Di dasar dirimu kilau cahaya
Mutiara putih
Menyinar ke dalam lubuk jiwa
Nan gelap gelita

Di dasar dirimu
Karang indah
Halus penuh seni
meneguh perjuangan kebenaran
Hikmah pekerti

Kau inspirasi
Permata hati
Ingin ku terus selami

Kau inspirasi
Walau kau pergi
Namun ku tetap di sini..

over 1300 palestinians have died yet the world is still doing nothing..

2009-01-20T19:23:00.002+07:00

i am so so sad....the world is so big n gaza is so small, yet nobody seems to be doing anything about the Israelis invasion up till now ...where are the OIC countries hiding??no news of sending any military help..at least the indonesian MER-C team has arrived there for medical aid..wut about the government of the islamic countries worldwide?don't they bother to send any jihad batallions to help our brethrens there?the whole world seems to be soooo silent in response to the crisis??wut has happened to us? are we in a too deep sleep and is it sooo difficult to wake up?

pukul 3 pagi

2009-01-07T03:00:00.000+07:00

ada org azan pukul 3 pagi??waktu subuh masuk at 4pm. oh.. mungkin nak kejut qiyammullail agaknye. beberape kali sy tgk jam sy sebab kaget.

herm, teruk betullah knowledge microbe n pharmaco saya! enterococci, enterobacter,a aa same ke ni?

super-busy

2009-01-07T00:27:00.004+07:00

declaring that im superr busy at the moment n...hating it?

im so sorry if i cudnt keep my emotions under check at times or if there's some appointments that i couldn't attend to...or meet up with..i'm barely struggling with my own studies at the moment n having to cut out on my own regular sleeping hours..

the 06's are going to have their OSCE exams soon so the 05's assistants are currently struggling to assist them, fulfilling their scheduled practices just as soon as our own class ends, keeping me occupied up to 4pm in the evening...in fact, sum groups are even requesting practices up to 6pm!

but then i suppose, time is an issue for most of us pun, many of us are multitasking n wishing that we have more than 24 hours a day, therefore i should not make excuses, nor complains..just do wut i have to do, n enjoys it..i hope im still one piece intact at the end of the day. pray for me ;) pendadaran (my thesis exam or final presentation) is on next wednesday.

all the best everyone!~

Wasiat Hassan Al-Banna

2009-01-04T08:15:00.003+07:00

Saudaraku,
Janganlah engkau putus asa, kerana putus asa bukanlah akhlak seorang muslim.
Ketahuilah bahwa kenyataan hari ini adalah mimpi hari kelmarin, dan impian hari inI
adalah kenyataan di hari esok. Waktu masih panjang dan hasrat akan terwujudnya
kedamaian masih tertanam dalam jiwa masyarakat kita, meski fenomena-fenomena
kerusakan dan kemaksiatan menghantui mereka. Yang lemah tidak akan lemah
sepanjang hidup-nya dan yang kuat tidak akan selamanya kuat.

Allah swt. berfirman,
"Dan Kami hendak memberi karunia kepada orang-orang yang tertindas di bumi
(Mesir) itu dan hendak menjadikan mereka pemimpin dan menjadikan mereka orang orang
yang mewarisi (bumi), dan akan Kami teguhkan kedudukan mereka di muka
bumi dan akan Kami perlihatkan kepada Fir'aun dan Haman serta tentaranya apa yang
selalu mereka khawatirkan," (Al-Qashash: 5-6)

Putaran waktu akan memperlihatkan kepada kita peristiwa-peristiwa yang
mengejutkan dan memberikan peluang kepada kita untuk berbuat. Dunia akan melihat
bahwa dakwah kita adalah hidayah, kemenangan, dan kedamaian, yang dapat
menyembuhkan umat dari rasa sakit yang tengah dideritanya. Setelah itu tibalah
giliran kita untuk memimpin dunia, kerana bumi tetap akan berputar dan kejayaan
itu akan kembali kepada kita. Hanya Allah-lah harapan kita satu-satunya.
Bersiap dan berbuatlah, jangan menunggu datangnya esok hari, kerana bisa jadi
engkau tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa di esok hari.

Kita memang harus menunggu putaran waktu itu, tetapi kita tidak boleh berhenti.
Kita harus terus berbuat dan terus melangkah, kerana kita memang tidak mengenal
kata "berhenti" dalam berjihad.
Allah swt. berfirman,
"Dan orang-orang yang berjihad untuk (mencari keridhaan) Kami, sungguh
akan.Kami tunjukkan jalan-jalan Kami." (Al-Ankabut: 69)

Hanya Allah-lah dzat yang Mahaagung, bagi-Nya segala puji.

kita semua sedang diuji

2009-01-02T13:43:00.005+07:00

Kisah pembantaian Israel terhadap saudara2 kita di Palestin baru2 ini telah menggemparkan umat Islam di seluruh pelusuk dunia. Sesungguhnya, saudara2 kita di sana sedang diuji oleh Allah s.w.t dan hukum jihad jelas jatuh wajib atau fardu ain ke atas mereka kerana mereka telah dizalimi di tanah air, bumi mereka sendiri. Mereka telah terang2 diuji secara fizikal (harta dan wilayah dirampas, manakala anak2, isteri, orang tua dan para pemuda dibunuh tanpa sebab), namun bagaimana pula dengan kita?

Semalam sy duduk terpuruk tanpa alasan di atas tikar sejadah memikirkan tentang dada saya yg merasa sesak tanpa dipinta. apakah sebabnya? namun tiba2 fikiran saya terpesat kepada saudara2 kita yg sedang sengsara di Palestin sana. Ya Allah, mereka semua sedang diuji, bagaimana pula dengan sy? jadi timbul keyakinan dlm diri sy bahawa, sy yakin sy juga sedang diuji. kesempitan jiwa juga adalah ujian Tuhan buat sy. Untuk melihat apakah jalan keluar yg akan sy pilih di saat futur melanda. adakah sy akan memilih jalan keluar yg mudah, yg memalingkan diri sy dari jalanNya atau memilih terapi dariNya, sedikit sulit tapi sempurna. Apabila berfikir sebegitu, tiba2 hati sy lapang semula, senyum di bibir kembali mekar. Allah sedang uji saya, itu tandanya Allah sayang dan ingatkan saya. ya Allah, aku lebih rela diuji sekiranya itu tanda Engkau mahu aku mengingatiMu, bukankah Tuhanku Maha Cemburu pada hamba-hambaNya sekiranya di hati mereka ada cinta yang lebih besar dariNya?lebih rela dari Engkau biarkan aku sesat tapi bahagia. Bahagia yang salah, bahagia yg sementara. Bahagia yang tidak kekal selamanya, malah tidak sihat untuk pengakhiran, kampung akhirat ku di sana.

Jadi sy terfikir bahawa hakikatnya kita semua sedang diuji. Hidup ini adalah ujian. Cuma bezanya adalah apakah ujian itu jelas atau tidak nyata. Bahayanya adlh apabila kita tidak sedar bahawa kita sebenarnya sedang diuji! Kita diuji dengan masa-apakah kita sudah mengisi masa kita dengan menjalankan amanah sebaiknya? atau masih lalai menghiburkan diri dengan segala bentuk hiburan yang ada di dunia ini-->bahkan hati kita seoleh-olah sudah terikat dan tidak boleh terpisah dari hiburan2 ini.
kita diuji dgn harta kekayaan, yang cuma titipan dari Tuhan utk dilihat apakah digunakan di jalan Tuhan atau utk memuaskan nafsu, keinginan yg tidak pernah sirna (dunia kan ibarat air laut--semakin diminum, semakin bertambah haus). ingin berinfak membantu masyarakat Palestin yg sedang menderita juga masih berkira-kira! (ya Allah malunya..). dan berbagai lagi nikmat2 yg Allah telah kurniakan sebenarnya untuk menguji kita!

Seandainya kita marah dgn Israel dan bersimpati dgn Palestinians (memang inilah seharusnya reaksi kita!), marah dan bersimpati jugalah dgn diri kita yg alpa dan tidak sedar bahawa diri sedang diuji....-ibarat musuh dalam selimut, menikam dari belakang tanpa peduli, -juga ibarat ghazwul fikr(perang minda oleh Barat pada umat Islam) yang super halus tapi tepat mengena sasaran!! atau ibarat api dalam sekam-membakar pelan-pelan...memakan dari dalam...

Sedarlah bahawa dosa terbesar sebenarnya adalah dosa lalai kepadaNya! sudah-sudahlah ummat ini terpuruk ke dalam lembah kehinaan, berkubang di dalam lumpur kealpaan, kesenangan dunia dan kesia-siaan, dengan hati yg berpenyakit- penakut, tidak berdaya, lemah dan mundur. perjuangan menentang hawa nafsu kita sangat jelek sedangkan ini yg dikatakan oleh Rasulullah s.a.w sebagai jihad akbar! Dan Sesungguhnya umat ini telah jatuh, jatuh ke jurang yg paling dalam, tidak ubah seperti haiwan yg hidup hanya untuk memenuhi kantung perutnya sahaja. mungkin sudah terlupa bahawa the ummah was once like a lion, no need to shed a tear!

Yang pastinya, di akhirat nanti akan ada pertimbangannya-masa, harta, anggota badan dan setiap sesuatu.. sy ulangi, setiap sesuatu...yg telah diamanahkan atau dititipkan oleh Allah kepada kita di dunia ini tak akan lepas dari perhitungan. Jangan terkejut ketika dihisab kelak malahan skor kita negatif...(ya Allah nauzubillah...) dan ketika itu kita sedang menyaksikan saudara2 kita di Palestin yg ikhlas berjihad dan mati syahid di jalanNya sedang tersenyum memasuki syurga..pasti waktu itu kita mahu kalau kita yang dahulu di dunia di tempatnya...

Ayuh, tiupkan semboyan perjuangan, hidupkan wake-up call dalam diri. sampai bilakah kita hanya menjadi para penyaksi? dan pabila kita mati kelak, diluputkan oleh sejarah. Sudah sampai waktunya, kita mengenerasi perubahan dalam diri, dalam masyarakat sekeliling. Inilah waktunya kita kembali kepada kesucian AlQur'an dan Sunnah dan meninggalkan puing-puing kehinaan dan karat jahiliyyah dalam diri. kuatkan benteng mujahidah li nafs hati. jadikan isu pembantaian Palestin ini sebagai momentum perubahan diri. Sesungguhnya hati-hati kita ini sendiri rindu untuk kembali pada fitrah asalnya iaitu kemuliaan, kebaikan dan kesucian. inilah waktunya. Islam itu akan menang, yakinlah. cuma adakah kita menjadi sebahagiaan yang menyumbang kepada lajunya putaran roda kereta perjuangan ini atau hanya mampu melihat saja, dan tertinggal di belakang. kedegilan kita untuk tetap tega di jalan jahiliyyah, berleka-leka dan bermalas-malasan dengan memberikan seribu satu alasan itu tidak akan merugikan Islam atau orang lain kecuali diri sendiri-yang kelak akan diminta pertanggungjawaban!

self resolution 1430H

2008-12-28T20:42:00.004+07:00

here's my personal self resolution checklist in conjunction with this new 1430H year:

1) Al-Qur'an recitation 1 juz per day insyaAllah
2) pray extra heed to my solah--towards achieving high quality solah!
3) check n balance the condition of my heart every now n then- qalbu management to be seeked..always!
4) towards a more purified islamic fikrah, ruhiyah and way of living
5) time is gold. treasure it
6) focus more on acting--implementing action instead of just thinking and talking

may ur prayers accompany me. pray that i'll be a better person.

"..i have in my hearts the will and in my hands the means.."

Salam Maal Hijrah
1430H,
pray for our brothers and sisters in Palestine

take control

2008-12-27T11:09:00.004+07:00

it's been ages since i last watched a movie, but a few days back cekpah came to my room for a chitchat n all of a sudden we ended up watching the movie twilight from a cd. this i suppose is the 4th time cekpah is watching it(hehhe..bocor rahsie hang). if a lesson could be derived from this movie, for me it would be learning 'to take control'. maybe for those who have watched the movie- might be utterly clueless to which scene in the movie im referring to. for information it's the scene when bella's bespectacled friend ( i cant remember the girl's name) was ruminating over eric not asking her to the prom n bella responded by saying 'take control' and ask him instead. the scene might be trivial and the issue is 'super-lame' (who cares bout who dates who anyway-prom..apekahh?) but bella's respond 'take control' is crucial and i think is applicable to my life as a lesson.

i've always been a person who let life travels loosely. i don't put any tight rope to the proper end of it. i live life like water. it just flows. i don't plan. never did. take an example, i didn't even plan to become a doctor when i was in secondary school. i just let time decides, whatever time will bring. and until now, i don't even have a proper plan for my future. i'm only sure that i'd love to further my studies to be a specialist. to think of it it might be 'cewl' just to live life the way it is, but on the other hand, there are loose ends to it. like the saying goes, 'failing to plan means planning to fail'. of course, human proposes God predestines, but being able to plan properly for ur life also means that ur taking control over things that u can change, and the outcome results in u becoming more confident in navigating ur life, which way u want it to be heading.

so in my case, i think i need to re'revise' my life and come out with a certain plan and action regarding it. im 23 year old already, and next year i'll be turning 24. i'm aging, gosh. wut i should do is to start 'taking, remote controlling'-take control of my emotion, the kind of person i want to evolve being, take control over my studies, the kind of doctor i'll soon becoming. taking control also means to minimize worrying, instead-channelling it towards acting as in the saying; 'action speaks louder than words'. although it might not be 100% ideally turns out the way i'd be expecting cause there'll be God's hands in the moulding, at least
--> 'aim for the skies, at least u'll land among the stars'. like arai's quote to ikal from andrea hirata's tetralogi of laskar pelangi said: 'jangan pernah mendahului takdir'-interpreted as; before fate decides ur life, take maximize control over it beforehand. u have the ability to maximize the control over ur life if u believe so!

"..Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves.. " (Ar-Ra'd:11)

another day =)

2008-12-26T05:57:00.010+07:00

another day..another adventure! (haha..adventure laa sangaat)..
goin' jogging with iman at 6.30
sending my motor to honda service centre at 8.30 (shock absorber desperately needs to be fixed-remembering ravi shocked face when i incidentally told him bout the shock absorber thing)
going to superindo to buy groceries for our 'masak nasi ayam ramai2 project' at 10.00
fetching kak gym beforehandlaa! =)
doing thesis result interpretation throughout the day
erm wut else?
eyp..

rumah kat mlysia buat ape harini?critelaa..knape man n ecad dh tak slalu online. man kate ade nk tanye akak sumthing?apekah?

*on playing opick nasyeeds from his Ar Rahman album. not bad!

ini man. man looks cute in dis pic.winduuuu~

ini husna kecik2.soo cute ;). mak...nk adik kecik lagik,,!!

ini pulak si debab kak huda kecik2!mum alwiz told that she was supersmart mase kecik2, so protective of me (yeke?kdg2 mcm bully2zemon je..hehhehe). mane gmbr sy kecik2???wuuu...

holidayin'

2008-12-25T09:49:00.006+07:00

it's holiday time! this time around my holiday extends from 25 dis till 4 jan. but i'm not going anywhere in the nearest time. stuck in my room having to finish off my thesis since our result seminar is coming soon on the 31st disember. me n kepam are still not done yet with our discussion, but its ok. one step at a time. plenty of time awaits insyaAllah.

my right middle and ring finger still ache after almost a month ( i think?) since i got them injured during our 1st basket game. thanks for the repetitive injuries they had to endure consecutively afterwards (in fact the victim is always those two fingers, i wonder y?-cos i just lurrvvee to tepis bolaa), the ring finger one is no longer straight. seriously it bends! HELP ME HELP ME..(mcm mane nk sarung cincin nanti??). hehhe. my back and abdomen hurts too. =(

kak huda is going back to jb this weekend, she'll be having holidays till next wednesday while tma is already home sweet, oh, how i miss home~! azra is also malaysia home sweet for her brother's wedding. luckily i have cek pah by my side, going through the thicks n thins, lurve you heap dearie ;)

meanwhile, azua (my maahad friend) is planning to visit jogja next year. but since my holidays are still not yet fixed, i just can't give the final say to her to have her flite ticket booked. january n february will be full of course with ppbkk practice ( i really hope so) while middle feb will be the ppbkk exam itself. while for march, most probably i'll be in malaysia while waiting for the ppbkk exam result ( determining whether we could proceed in entering clinical or get delayed). and our pkpmi congress is at bali on middle march (wink-wink*), the two proposed dates for the congress are the 13th-15th or the 20-22nd. i hope approval will be on the 20-22 march since my sister's wedding is on the 14th march and i wanna attend both! (",)..

fani my good friend has been messaging me inviting me to her home in cilegon (nearby jakarta), and keep saying that qaulan misses tante toy..hihi. qaulan is fani's baby, i wonder how big qaulan is right now compared to the last time i saw her from the photos fani sent me. she was so adorable, n small! i so wanna go to cilegon, but rite now i suppose that i have to prioritize, my studies are down in the drain, n i'm completely clueless to enter clinical. definitely i have to consider about my studies...i wonder will i be a good physician with only 'nil' knowledge that i have in my brain? definitely not. so buck it up, toy! ( untuk keamanan manusia sejagat, hehe).

i'm signing off now, if i were to continue, my tales to tell are endless! please pray for me..pray that i'll be a good person. i'll write more soon. missing home! till we meet again...

bersungguh sungguhlah wahai hati...

2008-12-20T21:47:00.003+07:00

a small note to my dearest miss heart..

1) hindari angan-angan kosong. segala sesuatu telah ditetapkan oleh Tuhan untukmu!
2) sesuatu dari Tuhanmu itu pasti yang terbaik, tiada syak lagi!
3) bersungguh-sungguhlah dalam meraih sesuatu. terutama menuntut ilmu!
4) jagalah ibadahmu, lapangkanlah dadamu.
5) dlm apa2 pun kondisi dirimu berada, pastikan hatimu sentiasa dlm keadaan tenang dan khusyuk!
6) yakinlah dengan janji2 Tuhanmu, kejarlah tingkat syurga tertinggi!
7) persembahkan yg terbaik buat Tuhanmu, cinta Allah dan rasul harus yg paling utama pd setiap ketika!
8) kurangkan berharap pada manusia, manusia tak boleh menjamin apa-apa tanpa izinNya.
9) sumthing happens simply becos Allah wants it to happen..kun fayakuun
10) jalan ini jln yg menjamin! yakinlah~

main tipu

2008-12-18T14:26:00.003+07:00

di saat masa-masa terakhir itu begitu valuable-'the i need all the time in the world' utk belajar moments set in, di saat-saat itulah sy berfoye-foye. inilah yg sy namakan main tipu. hasrat di hati nk belaja, (sungguh, banyak lagi yg belum disentuh!) namun jari jemari ni sungguh merenyam utk click sini sane bloghopping from one to another.haishh....tak bermoral kan?? (kids-don eva try dis at home). yg pastinye sy dptlah beberape inspirasi dr blog2 yg sy bace tuh (byk juge gelak tawa terhibur). dari pagi memang emosi sy tak stabil. entah kenape. mcm tak betul je. pagi tadi sy belaja kat atas bumbung, tempat ampaian sidai baju. bentang tikar kt lantai tu then ambik meja kecik dan duduk bersila. sbb sy tak boleh duduk bilik, mata terlelap-lelap. lagipun 2-3 hari ni langit sangat2 lah cantik esp waktu maghrib menjelang (2 hari berturut-turut dah sy balik menjelang maghrib). langit berwarna oren ke-emas emasan (u all jogjarians ade notice tak??). subhaanallah, memang sangat cantik. (kalauu ayah ada mesti dia dah sebut chanteeeekkk...). siap ada org-org berhenti tepi jalan lagi semata mata nk ambil gamba senja nan cantik tu. jadi niat di hati sy pagi tadi adalah utk belajar sambil menikmati pemandangan langit yg cantik tu. konon2 nk mendekatkan diri pd alam. hehe. herm, pastu call mak smbil kat atas bumbung. mak sy kate pelik. housemate sy pun kate patut pelik, 'ingat ko sidai baju..lame beno kt atas tuhh'...hehee.

begitulah, bile exam menjelma, mulelah macam2 simptoms pelik2 muncul. tak makan nasilah, makan tak berkhasiatlah (mengemil), minum bende2 manis overdose lahh, sakit pinggang belakang lahh, nausea lah,panic attacklah, nk nangis lah, dan macam2 lagi. pendek kata, marilah same2 mendoakan sy agar sy tetap bertahannn dan meskipun satu dunia sy goes awry, sy masih tetap mampu memaintainkan kewarasan diri sy. aminn.

belaja2!

2008-12-15T14:40:00.000+07:00

jgn nak berfoye2..exam harii khamiss ni..belajaaa naaa!~

Wut A Wonderful World~

2008-12-13T06:13:00.017+07:00

eidul adha 1429H

khutbah raye

the girlzz afta solat raye

keluarga asas

bersama domba + behind the scene at qurban

wif kerp!!(ahhahaaa~aku takot ko tak approve je gamba ni..hehhhee)

ktorg tlg rewang jugak tauu!!(kak gym heppy semacamm)

makcik2 bergossip ke rewangg??

us dgn akak2 03 =)

batch 05 gals time jamuan!! (afta perut panas makan black pepper..hehhe)

cheese

end november-early december besday bashh!

the cake

pong me nani @ silla (betul kan name kedai uh??hehhe)

basketbabes 05

qilah buat2 kitorg smelly

senyuman kemenangan =P

toy's 23rd burstday bash + 2003 farewell party~

the cake =). pay attention to the caption.yeeha

me n beloved housemate azra pegang2 helmet

min me nad!

juniors +us + 03

b29 sendowo chicks =)

Hari Sabtu =)

2008-12-13T05:58:00.003+07:00

Hari Sabtu. Duduk di depan laptopku. usai membaca beberapa chapter dari maryamah karpov, karya terbaru andrea hirata, senang sekali rasa hatiku. masih menimbang-nimbang haruskah ku ikut skills lab family day yang harus berkumpul jam 7 di kampus atau bersantai-santai di rumah, nanti jam 8 berpraktis basket dengan teman-teman seangkatan, itu pasti seru..

Berminggu-minggu lalu jam segini aku masih termangu-mangu membaca ulasan-ulasan dari buku PAPDI, juga melayan bebelan dari buku schwartz dan bates buat diskusi pagi sabtuku, kemudian sendirian membawa motor menongkah ring road menuju condong catur. senang sekali pagi ini rutin itu tidak dipenuhi. tapi ujian blok tercekat menungguku khamis dan jumaat nanti. moodku masih belum set untuk belajar hal-hal emergency. belajar awal bukanlah kebiasanku. memang ngebut belajar itu hobiku. susah sekali memecahkan habit yang tidak sihat buatku ini. dari jam 2 pagi tadi sudah terjaga, entah kenapa, namun konsentrasi masih belum jadi milikku. ahhh moga2 kondisi akan membaik dengan berjalannya Hari Sabtu ini.

Wedding tag

2008-12-05T17:35:00.007+07:00

Tagged by NK n doy2..out of sheer nothingness im doing thiss..hehheh~

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!. 2) DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair…just take a picture. 3) Post that picture with NO editing. 4) Post these instruction with your picture. 5) Tag 10 people to do this.

1.How old are you?
19 + 4 =P

2.Are you single?
Single mingle jingle bell

3. In what age do you think you’ll get married?
Allah knows when~

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?
ahaks

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
The person that is matchmade in heaven for me. I'll leave it to Him

6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional wedding?
Beach =)

7. Your ideal motif?
White is nice. Middle eastern style is cute. For sure it's got to be simple but sweet

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
Turkey =). Anywhere romantic,ahaha!

9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?
As many as possible =)

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
said it b4.simple!

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own??
if ade, my own of course. so uninnovative to just copy n paste la kan

12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
3.ni tiru doyot (kehkehh)

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?
simple place,again.tp hotel pon best je.

14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?
Terserah.waktu yg convenient utk sume org.hehe

15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Outdoors (kate athletic..huh?? ape kaitan tahh?)

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom/bride?
simple2 dah. he's already hold a special place inside my heart,so y bother?hehe

17. Name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding?
Lagu P ramlee n Saloma.kidding..hehe,lagu yg nyanyi sendiriklaa-->rakam pastu pasang kat wedding sambil buat muke tak bersalahh (pure2 tak knal suare sndirik).hahhahaa.tipu je..yakin boleh sungguh--keskes~

18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
MORRRRRRningggg

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
light.yg penting akad kan?

20. What age do you want to get married?
Human plans, God destines

21. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
Someone who can accept me the way i am inside out. despite my weaknesses and flaws. org yg bersedia utk bersame2 memperbaiki diri menuju jalanNya.the 'willingness to improve is important'.synergistic and complementing is the key.best in me by Blue sums it all up

22. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
ape2 jelaa

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
right after..ofkoss with Encik betul everyday pun is a honeymoon
25. Money or household item?
terserahhh.hahah

26. Who will pay for the bills?
same2 laa

27. Are you ready for married life?
50-50

28. Do you think you will still be a virgin until u get married?
okfoss...duhhh

29. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
okfoss!!

30. How many kids do you like?
5 is cute

31. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
kalo boleh new =)

32. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding, or diamond wedding?
silver.(main taram je ni)

33. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
traditional

34. Will you record your honeymoon in a cd or dvd?
mestilaaa..alang2 dah buat majlis..rakam jela sekaliann..

I tag:
1) kak fied
2) saffa (again!)
3) aziah zuber
4) atikah yuyun
5) natasha
6) phaik hsia =)
7) izzah
8) naufa (hehe)
9) rean..ahaha
10) fatin..if ur reading dis darrrlingg

Tag 1

2008-12-05T00:52:00.004+07:00

tagged by izzah dearie..sowiee baruu nk buattt,ehehee

(Satu)Do you think you're hot??
tak pernah. biase2 je. suam2 kuku.

(Dua)Upload your favourite picture of you

(Tiga)Why do you like that picture??
sbb bajet cool.pandangan sisi laa konon.hehe

(Empat)When is your last time you ate pizza??
adeh..tak ingat laa..yg pastinye last time kat pizza hut kot.agaga

(Lima)The last song you listened to??
adelah

(Enam)What are you doing right now beside this??
bace blog org lain smbil minun nescafe O sejuk

(Tujuh)What Name would you prefer beside yours??
aaa husna sofia, naufa azhari, nurha iman, umar al faruqi,ade lagii

(Lapan)People i tag??
(on a random note)

1) doyot
2) Nk
3) sAffa
4) kerp da legend =)
5) tasha
6) kurt kudeng and anep azme (slambe letak 2org skali)
7) aziah zuber =)
8) atikah yuyunn

(Sembilan)Who is number 1??
sistaahoood member, tutorial mate, ex-tarannum mate =P ,ex kalam mate, halaqah mate (mmuah2), doy2 si com2, cutie pie, sy suke cubit de n kate de minum susu botol kecik2 n de pandai masak!!

(Sepuluh)Number 3 is having relationship with??
misteri nusantara =P

(Sebelas)Say Something about no 5??
one of best buddies. teman bergayut. ex ktt mate. org kelate. miss her laaa

(Dua Belas)How about number 4??
beloved thesis mate ;). a drum chick, pandai masak (jgn tak cayeee!!), cumeyy, mase ospek 1st yer pakai attribute yg senang tercabut kalo kene tiup anginn waktuu larii (mcm mengkarung tau attribute tuu)..ahahahahaaa~!xleyh lupee aaaa kerpppppp!

(Tiga Belas)Who is number 2??
my cun rawks basketbabe, rainbow republic rulez, mutant mate (ahaahaa). kami boleh same2 masuk oprah book club (haha..betul kan wujud kelab tu?), cik emcee, alwiz a successful event organizor =P

psychosomatic

2008-11-28T07:11:00.003+07:00

these past few days i've been having a sorta range of physical impairment signs and symptoms and i blame it on psychosomatic.

panic attack on yesterday mid morning plus stomachache in the evening --> although this might be attributed to my improper eating these last few days yet i still think that my mental played a part.

and this morning, nauseated n loss of appetite, i struggle to finish off my cereal drink.
try, try to think of something happy
i did n i finally gulped the whole drink without realizing.

tak tahu nk tulis ape

2008-11-23T19:50:00.003+07:00

erm knape tetbe menulis ni?herm tak tauu..nk melaporkan cek pah demam, kak gym dtg ptg td belaja esp..azra pulak tgh semangat nk berolahraga nak berdiet laa kononnye tuhh (=P ). ingat2 semule dah lame juge ku tak berolahrage..n to think about it i used to be a sportswoman (ahah..perasan..sile muntah)..busyness show me no mercy, n its difficult to start again sumthing that i'd left for a long time..every weeken will come n leave me feeling-oh,dah hari ahad-xspend utk belaja pun-n tak lekat dekat rumah-n ahad petang-ohh tak spend utk tdo dan byk keje tak siap lagi-n eh-nak rase depressed-haha-pastu-dah2 jgn layan-kene be strong-n move forward..

n i'm declaring that i miss home, not that badly though,but suam2 kuku..
another week kickstarting~

hilang?

2008-11-22T23:03:00.003+07:00

tiba2 perasaan itu hilang.
cepat sungguh hati ini bolak balik sendiri.
sudah rasa biasa2 sahaja.

tp bersyukur perasaan itu sudah berlalu pergi.
sgt serabut bila Tuhan tidak tunjukkan jalan, sesat seorg diri.
Alhamdulillah Allah masih mengasihi diri ini..

Terima kasih juga pada entry blog gengsambalterung ini..it enlightened a lot!
jazakillah...=) -->

JAGA HATI KITA. Jangan biarkan ia dihinggapi habuk sehingga menjadi daki yang berkekalan. Bersihkan HATI kita dari segala kekotoran. Bagaimana?

" ...manusia Yang mempunyai hati (Tetapi) tidak mahu memahami dengannya (ayat-ayat Allah), dan Yang mempunyai mata (Tetapi) tidak mahu melihat dengannya (bukti keesaan Allah) dan Yang mempunyai telinga (Tetapi) tidak mahu mendengar dengannya (ajaran dan nasihat)..." [7:179]

Jaga mata. Jaga telinga. Jaga segala perbuatan kita. Kerana ia mempengaruhi HATI kita. InsyaAllah bila HATI sudah bersih, kita akan jadi lebih SENSITIF. Sensitif terhadap segala kekotoran yang kecil mahupon yang besar.

...dan juga entry dari Ilham al Adwa' (<--click link) yg sangat menyentuh hati..

*jazakillahu khairan katsiraan sekali lagi..doakan doa2 sy ada jawapannya..;)

gerakkan!

2008-11-20T00:03:00.002+07:00

gerakkan hati, gerakkan minda , maka akan bergeraklah anggota badan mu
kenalilah potensi jiwa dan hatimu, ia boleh dibaja!

(doakan saya)

soul searching...

2008-11-18T19:46:00.004+07:00

apa khabarkah kondisi iman ku pada hari ini?
mengapakah aku solat, membaca ayat2 suci Al-Qur'anMu,
tapi masih saja gemar berkata-kata yang tidak sepatutnya?
berlebihan dalam berbicara,
dan beranggapan nista tentang hamba-hambaMu?

manakah letaknya kondisi jiwaku?
tidakkah ianya terkesan oleh ibadah2ku,
jika tidak, di manakah silapnya yg telah berlaku?
hinakah jiwaku?

pondering~

2008-11-11T14:54:00.005+07:00

i'm just back from my pharmacology lab. and pondering bout my thesis workloads hence deciding to laze around for a while. browsing people's blog and blogging. people said my baju to class today was 'silau'ing. sampai hati depa. haha. apparently pharmaco lab is one of the lab i hate most in medical school since usually we have to wait very long and naturally i'm not so keen in helping out in handling the poor animals to be experimented-be it white rats, rabbits, hamsters etc. but today was bearable than usual since it only took us about half an hour to do the experiment (minus playing around) and the sample animal was a very very cute guinea pig (now i finally know how a real guinea pig looks like!). plus me n doyot n haneef rehearsed or tasmi' some of our hafazan, so it did quite kill the time. yet another report awaiting to be done. i still havent done my khidmat bakti siswa proposal-haish-the deadline's this friday lah

herm, tasha texted me just now asking for what i'd like for my upcoming birthday present, suddenly reminding me that my birthday is approaching. had it really been a year?-i can't believe it- u just start to grow faster when you're older, don't you? i think this year's birthday will be different from the previous as it will be less significant and more forgettable. you do be ignorant and more serious when you're older, hehe.

anyway, if there is, my wishlists for birthday this year are (ngengade kan-ignore this part)
1) collins english thesaurus (super small n cute pocket size)
2) muhammad- a book by karen armstrong
3) a cute jacket from sixty that me n doyot usha last time but takde our sizes (haha)
4) qur'an tajwid
5) more and more books

ok, now semangat toy-do things with compassion and semangat, banyak kerja menanti nih, fokus ye, mulakan dengan bismillah dan niat yg baek kerana Allah-supaya bernilai ibadah. k,nk stat buat keje. bismillah.

Jogja kota harapan

2008-11-10T14:23:00.003+07:00

kesan-kesan bekas puting beliung masih terlihat sewaktu aku melewati jalan biasa pulang ke kontrakan setelah penat lelah mengasistensi bedah minor yang entah kenapa lemau rasanya hari ini. bapak2 penjaga parkir yg ketika puting beliung kelmarin amat aku risaukan keselamatannya bertugas seperti biasa seolah-olah tidak ada apa2 yg sudah berlaku. penjual2 buah, doktor2 berjas putih berkeliaran dan kedai2 makan beraktivitas seperti kisah puting beliung itu hanyalah sejarah dahulu kala. sedangkan masih ada pokok2 tumbang yang masih belum dirapikan dan billboards2 kedai masih terdampar di jalanan. cepatnya jogja bangkit! seraya menyambung lamunan meneruskan langkah2 lemah, kelihatan pula seorang adik kecil tersenyum riang dipimpin si ibu yang tak kalah senang. tapi ada sesuatu yg tak kena pada si adik. kepalanya separuh botak meski berambut panjang! mungkinkah si adik pesakit leukimia?? tapi si adik sepertinya tetap bersemangat. ah, kenapa aku juga yang tetap tak bersemangat? terdengar bunyi kayuhan basikal disertai suit-suit dr belakang. siapalah yang cuba mengurat aku di kala moodku hilang ditelan senja kelam ni? aisyah adik 2007 rupenye. langsung aku menyeringai sambil menggelitik ketiaknya. hihi. ketawa kecil sebentar. herm, kembali ke mood sebelumnya. terlihat mbak2 yang wajahnya sekilas mirip mbak2 di kilang tempatku bekerja slps spm dahulu. rindu juga rupanya aku pada mereka. mb lisma mb apa lagi sorang itu ya, boleh pula aku lupa namanya sedangkan rapat bukan main nak rak. herm akhirnya ku tiba juga ke kontrakan B29 rumahku syurgaku. namun aku tetap juga tak bersemangat.

Cinta setulus jiwa

2008-11-10T02:20:00.011+07:00

Cinta setulus jiwa
By Opick

Dalam luka
Dalam duka
Engkau ada dan setia
Temani jiwa…

Surya yang memerah
Senja di langit dunia
Sunyi hatiku
Terbayang wajah mereka

Yang memelukku
Menjagaku
Memberiku kasih dan sayang
Mencintaiku
Merawatku tanpa lelah
Setulus jiwamu…

Jauh sudah langkah hari
Yang memanggil rindu
Di dalam hatiku padamu
Andai bisa ku mengulang waktu
Hanya tuk mengerti akanmu, menyentuhmu…

I'm not a good daughter. i've never been a good one. ever since i was little, i was always the most hardened up and difficult child. but mak n ayah still love n accept me the way i am...unconditionally. for all the times when i was lost for words, lost for expressions, and for one or more ways if i've ever blamed u both for any mishaps, i'm deeply regretful. the greatest gift i could atone for all the wrongdoings i've done and ever present to u both is by being a better person, offering the best condition of my imaan in the eyes of Allah so the two of u would be placed among the righteous in this life and the next hereafter..

..my only wish..the only wish... from u both...is to pray for this hardened steel heart of mine to be melted away, mak n ayah..

:..uhibbukum mak n ayah..:

'thank you for everything'

the basic dissection week

2008-11-05T20:30:00.008+07:00

first of all, when i was younger i'd never thought that i'd pursue medicine seriously, and least of all be inclined towards surgery-i'd vowed since my 1st year that surgery would be the last thing on earth i'd wanted to specialize in.

but here i am-taking basic dissection week for my elective block-and it turns out to be quite cewl and unbelievably i turned out to be quite a compulsive dissector!

my basic dissection week started with some lectures by mas jun, dr cahaya n the alwiz ceria dr santoso.mas jun has always been one of our most favourite anatomy assistant-and now shall i say-anatomist?-still he hasn't been a letdown-wowing us with his teaching ability, patience and the intelligence of answering any questions we stormed at him. his talent n passions are indeed awesome!

i had always admired dr santoso-he's really brilliant, passionate and cheerful-haha~i was told that he'd completed his medical degree with a 4 flat!wahhh~ i wish i have his brain!- will never forget the way he'll look at us in awe when we can't recall the anatomy parts he ask-hehe!

talk about being overconfident-here was a few bloops n blunders i made during tutorial which was unrevealed and pointed out by dr cahayani during her lecture!!!-malunye saye sbb terlebih jagung(corn-fident)!!! (muke merah malu tapi buat2 xtau pandang depan je..)-->

*fossa cubiti yang telah ditambah perasa sesuka hati menjadi fossa mediana cubiti
*scaphoid dekat radius snuffbox laa bukan ulnar (kok ini ga tauu??-bisik dr cahayani dlm hati-heh he hee)
*flexor pollicis longus disalah sebut dgn nyum nyum-nya menjadi flexor palmaris longus (beda banget lokasi dua-dua muscle nihh)

a few things i just knew regarding the cadaver in anatomy lab:-
*they come from the unclaimed body from the hospital-also unclaimed in some sort of jabatan kebajikan masyarakat (lebeyh kuang)-and since the jabatan cannot afford to cover its burial cost-it'll be given to the anatomy lab of medicine faculty-n it will later be treated as a dead body with respect-dimandikan,dikapankan dan disolatkan dan didoakan supaya contributionnya ini akan menjadi amal baik buatnya di akhirat kelak..

*after undergoing the above rituals-the body will be infused with highly concentrated formalin through his artery femoralis in the right thigh for 24 hours to rid off all of the blood contained in his blood vessels and to preserve the integrity of his internal organs!

*then the cadaver will be immersed in a huge formaline pool usually containing around 20 cadavers at a time-to preserve his external body parts.

*there is a huge underground hole in the back of anatomy lab to bury off the cadavers that is no longer of/in use.

*the ones that we're using for dissection is usually aged 5-10 years (youngest is 3 months old), since the formalin strength and hence toxicity is lesser for us.

the aim of dissection is to expose the body parts as extensive as possible for the purpose of learning and identifying each structure in the body (ex: exposing the muscles plus preserving the appendages that arise alongside it like the artery, vein and nerve). and this morning dissection class- the 9 of us- 4 per group- geared up in lab coats, masks and the dissection equipments: me n shenyew dissected the cadaver's trunk while budi n shariff dissected its upper limb (tangan). later we shifted tasks since budi n shariff were tak larat to incise the thick fatty layer of the cadaver's limb (sum of the fatty layer even melted!). since i told earlier that me and shenyew were compulsive dissectors we enjoyably took over, huhu! 3 hours hardly passed by! and when it was over-i was still not done in exposing all of its arm muscles, plus a bonus for me for accidentally cut a nerve and an artery (when we're actually supposed to preserve them-ahaks!). it was overall fun n seriously a whole new learning experience-i felt really like a butcher. n tomoroe we'll proceed in dissecting the lower limb (kaki) pulak. sum assignments also have to be submitted in tomoroe and me still havent done it yet..hurmm.

i was so tired for the day and was back at home 10 minutes before maghrib after the skills lab meeting with the new assistants. it was raining extremely heavy - n i cudnt stand anymore to wait-so i just redah the rain-it was so lebat i hardly cud see. and i arrived home feeling absolutely famished and a bit off the mood-yet i knew better to rid it off quickly. herm-many works to be done-the tasks seem endless. a few thoughts on my mind:-

my wishlists:-
- sumbody to do the pkp khidmat bakti masyarakat proposal for me
- sumone to replace and pay for my motor's new shock absorber-its leaking, n for god's sake,the journey feels so bumpyish!
-ubat jerawat!

aspired to be better

2008-11-02T21:05:00.004+07:00

thanks for the words
i thank Allah for giving me answers through you
although i've waited for u quite long enough
long enough for me to learn the art of appreciating
now i'm clearer of my path ahead
and i could see the specks of hope igniting through
the end of the tunnel

and i thank Allah again
for sending me answers slowly but surely,
slowly enough for me to discover the strength of patience
convincing me that the wait is worth it
and now i know what i'm supposed to do
and i believe that it has just only begun
the faith and spirit will be soared higher,
insyaAllah
may He be guiding through..

thank you Allah
kebersamaan itu adalah kekuatan
thanks ukhtiku ;)
(dedicate to dearest doyot too, may we be strong always..amin)

little by little we'll climb the stairs and pick up the pieces we've left, if Allah wills so..

dalam kehendak-Nya

2008-11-02T06:29:00.003+07:00

"mana milik kita?
tidak ada milik kita"
(Mana milik kita-Nadamurni)

redha dengan ketentuan Allah
pasti ianya yg terbaik,
bukankah Dia yg Maha Mengetahui?

the pages are written,
the inks are dried,
up there in the Lauhul Mahfuz,
before the time i cud even think of

what more can i say?
than i shall prostrate to You
if its for the best
then rather i shall thank You

“And whoever is dutiful to Allah, He makes a way out for him (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from places he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, He
will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.” [ At-Talaaq: 2-3]

tinggal yakin, je kan?

di saat ruh itu sepi

2008-10-30T05:14:00.003+07:00

di saat ruh itu rasa sunyi..
di ketika pengabdian sebenar tulus pada Tuhan diganti spiritual engineerings,
rekayasa manusia untuk berpura-pura dirinya dekat pada Pencipta..
di waktu hari2 diisi futile, meaningless conversations,..routine dan mundane acts..
di kala blank spaces mengisi rongga2 jiwa di antara sela waktu;

.:Tuhan kurniakan teman untuk mengingatkan..

‘Teman yang paling baik adalah apabila kamu melihat wajahnya, kamu teringat akan Allah, mendengar kata-katanya menambahkan ilmu agama, melihat gerak-gerinya teringat mati..’

dan benar, kata2 yang baik dari teman yang mengingatkan itu tidak ternilai harganya berbanding dunia dan seisinya:-

(taken from naufa's email content..)

apa guna bacaan quran bersama tafsir andai tidak terasa dgn hati..
[Dan apabila dibacakan al-Quran, maka dengarkanlah baik-baik dan perhatikanlah dengan tenang agar kamu mendapat rahmat. (Surah al-A'raaf, ayat 204)]

apa guna duduk bangun dlm solat andai dosa masih dihampiri..
[innastholatatanha 'anil fahsya'i wal mungkar - “Sesungguhnya solat dapat mencegah seseorang dari perbuatan keji dan mungkar.”(Surah Al-Ankabuut: 45) ]

apa guna anggota amanah ALLAH andai sentiasa dlm leka..

apa guna cinta andai kpd pencipta hanya bersahaja..

apa guna ukhuwah andai bukan untuk memperingatkan..

apa guna maghfirahNya andai taubat ditinggalkan..

sungguh benar kita kerap menghabiskan emosi dengan manusia yang akhirnya menyakitkan..
sungguh benar pula kita sentiasa menjadikan alasan 'manusia itu pelupa' untuk tidak mengingatiNya..

...jazakillah adik naufa ;)
(I'll be counting the days for u to come)

"Kelazatan di dunia ini tinggal tersisa 3 perkara; qiyamullail, bertemu dengan saudara seiman dan shalat jemaah" - Ibnul Munkadir

"Aku sempat bertemu dengan beberapa kaum dan kelompok. Mereka ini tidak pernah bersuka cita atas melimpahnya dunia. Pun, tidak pernah berduka cita atas hilangnya dunia. Di mata mereka, kekayaan dunia itu ibarat tanah."- Hassan Al- Bashri

the remedy for the insomniacs

2008-10-28T23:37:00.002+07:00

my early sleeping routine is disturbed tonite. i'm declaring myself an insomniac! and the remedy- is going on a food binge-wif cek pah's wonderful brownies kukus (ehehe..tikus curi food kat dapor). tq cek pah for cooking lovely dishes today..love it..(siap tambah 3 x..kuang2)..luv u too dearie..owez..hehhe (overrr)..

the remedy for the heart
quoting a saying from one of my friend as a constant reminder for us as a servant to God, our lives need to be filled continously with tarbiyyah n mutaba'ah amal. it's not just about us, having to take care and pay heed over our ibadah, but the ibaadah in return will act as a shield in putting our lives under His care, completely. this is very vital, in order so that we won't take our ibaadah for granted cos what we've performed will be questioned in the hereafter later. Therefore, let's make effort to improve the quality of our ibadaah especially our SOLAT, bit by bit, ceaselessly without fail..

A humble reminder from me yet sincerely (insyaAllah)
Sampaikan dariku walau satu ayaat..

lalai

2008-10-26T20:38:00.002+07:00

lalai...
adalah sifat semulajadi seorg hamba..kdg2 org2 yg baik pun boleh lalai..

kekuatan..
kdg2 utk tidak lalai manusia memerlukan kekuatan..dan kekuatan itu boleh dtg dgn pelbagai cara...bi'ah yg baik..solat malam..dan org2 sekeliling yg memberi inspirasi dan mentransmisi kekuatan..

ingatkan..
oleh itu sentiasalah saling mengingatkan, kerana lalai itu mmg sifat fitrah hamba dan utk sentiasa beringat itu kita kena melawan arus hawa nafsu diri kita yg cenderung pada kelalaian ni..berterima kasihlah kepada Allah yg selalu mengejutkan kita dr kelalaian..sbb Allah masih syg kat kita..

"Hai orang yang berselimut, bangunlah lalu berilah peringatan" (Al-Muddatsir 1-2)

Ingatkanlah diriku wahai temanku jika kau kasihkan diriku kerana Allah...

leaving home

2008-10-21T07:19:00.004+07:00

today is another day yet today is of a different one cos today i'll be leaving home..

the short embrace n cheek kisses from my bro wud be the last one, when he'll be back from school, my voice will no longer echo the house n my physique will no more to be found lingering around

a deep sorrow is encarved inside this chest of mine but mum says that i've taken this journey of medicine and embarked on it..n therefore i must complete it..

mum says that life is always fair-what u give, u'll get back- a lot more even! n wut Allah gives to others but not u is always replaced by something else that u may have but others don't possess.to conclude-everyone is strong and lucky-just that people have different strengths n lucks-to show that his Love and Majesty is so abundant- enough and it encompasses every one =)

and i suppose the whole conversation with my mum meant to mean:,

when the roads are tough
and the deep hollow of self doubt, self denial n self hating conjures
it takes a courage that should be mustered to conquer them

and my home, my sanctuary
has prepared me for whatever it takes
n will always welcome me in whatever condition i'll be in. always.

can't tell how much my love for my family is. i hope i've had done more for them~

p/s:al-fatihah n my greatest condolence to my dearest good buddy, tasha for her granddad demise. innalillahiwa inna ilaihi raji'un..smoga roh arwah atuk tasha ditempatkan dlm golongan org2 yg soleh.. aminn

i'm sure husna will be crying hard-wanting to follow me-kesian de.siap kumpul duet raye nk beli duet tiket flite ikut balik indo. so naive n innocent ;) -i'll miss her.. greatly!~
bye bye-home sweet home..

tak baik

2008-10-19T14:22:00.007+07:00

kdg2 sy ade moment yg sy rase yg sy ni tak baik banding org lain, sgt banyak flaws, jahat, tah ape-ape, undeserving and incompetent.

this is one of those moments.

sy wish sy sebaik org lain..

the wonders of the net!

2008-10-17T20:06:00.004+07:00

haha.poyo kan tajuk post kali ni? just for the sake of entertaining my good mood since the internet has been quite cooperative n helpful in delivering me all the materials needed for me to complete my literature review...im almost half-way done.yeee~! whoever invented internet was surely a pure genius. (bill gates was it??) geezzzz..alhamdulillah. beyond these high-tech-fully helpful gadgets, there is an unseen might that made it all, all these to happen in a flicker of a finger snaps. that's Him, the Almighty. alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.. =)

thanx also to my two brothers who have been extra sweet in letting me to conquer the computer all to my self for the whole week!, without much complain or ado! i noe they've been supressing their online gaming crave just for the sake of allowing me to finish my work. how sweet~u guys are a gem! hehe~ =D

bersabarlah..selagi bisa

2008-10-16T17:06:00.006+07:00

arghh geramnyee...penat buat sehari semalam..hilang plakk additional literature review cos komp hanggg-switch on-then dah tarakkk

if i just follow my heart desire, id be screaming n burst in anger since, me, my nature, my fitrah is not patient. i'd have to fight hard to have patience. but i noe, patience is a virtue, and Islam teaches it followers to have high patience. like the great prophet rasulullah saw who was tested neverendingly yet still remaining steadfast in upholding patience as his virtue..

be patient...cos patience is a piece of peace that cud lit the gloomy heart
be patient...cos if u don't embrace patience now, Allah will test u until one time,the patience is forced to be instilled within u..

practice patience..
Allah loves those who are patients
it's a virtue of those who are wise..

n He wants his servants to engulf the beauty of patience
as patience is the fruit of imaan
which only the muttaqien can taste the sweetness of it

in life, choose to be patient..
bersabarlah..selagi bisa!

husna and her new cat

2008-10-16T14:36:00.001+07:00

now husna has a new friend to play with. introducing....... bom-briau!!

~si comels..hehhe mcm kenal x bakul ni?~

~husna angkut gune bakul nk pg pasar~

~tgh hibernate~

~tgh main2.tgk hepynye husnaa...~

haha:..husna calls her bom-briau ...my mum pulak kate her name is nurul kelabu while me calls her syasya (anak tima in da future-hahaa). let's see... how long the cat will stay in our home..hehe

headache

2008-10-15T10:26:00.002+07:00

i woke up this morning with my head throbbing. had a weird dream last nite, i dreamt of myself swimming. and then, there was dilla bro, my ktt-gud fren as well in it. weird. and this uneasy feeling been hovering me ever since.

turning to Allah for comfort..

the urge to write 'sum' thing

2008-10-14T21:39:00.005+07:00

thank god it's holidays~!
yep, im still holidaying n njoyin' every minute of it. my days are filled wif the works of a house wife (yelahh tuu)-managing the households,the clothes,mandikan husna,suap husna makan,yet seem to be enjoying them. now i understand why Allah sets women to be at home while men have to strive outside to earn a living and fight for the ummah. we, women, have to fight too but, locationwise its different. it's really nice just being at home, until i have the tendency to just hibernate at home, not contacting anyone not even close friends. hehe. but u guys are still inside my heart, hehhe.

i'm also currently focusing to finish off the paperworks of my thesis. yeah, i know i've been brooding over this and has been mentioning bout my thesis like for the zillionth times yet still not over it yet.
i'll make sure i'll finish, soon, insyaAllah. its also really nice to go into depth on anxiety, the research title im working on, cos it's like studying a part of myself, too.

raya also had been super great. although i'd missed the maahad 02 batch raya convoy which managed to gather almost 40 people (that was above awesome), the frustration was compensated by organizing our ugm 05 batch kl-raya convoy. only managed to gather those yg available around kl. next time kte wat kt negeri lain pulak. hehhe. it was soo fun. around 15 peeps joined. really had a great time. n i bet the memory will last a lifetime.. (haha jiwang laks!)

~us at rumah has~

~us at rumah opah iman~

wut else that i was goin' to mention-herm oredi forgotten. njoy remaining hols everyone!~ =)
me going to be bak in jogja by 22nd october insyaAllah, accompanied with bestest buddy beloved sista Hudaaa yaaay~!

cant hardly wait

2008-10-11T17:59:00.005+07:00

i just love these lyrics, so inspirational
cant hardly wait to watch laskar pelangi the movie..

Laskar Pelangi

by Nidji

mimpi adalah kunci
untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
berlarilah tanpa lelah
sampai engkau meraihnya

laskar pelangi
tak kan terikat waktu
bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
warnai bintang di jiwa

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia
selamanya…

cinta kepada hidup
memberikan senyuman abadi
walau hidup kadang tak adil
tapi cinta lengkapi kita

laskar pelangi
tak kan terikat waktu
jangan berhenti mewarnai
jutaan mimpi di bumi

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia
selamanya
selamanya

a few ayaats to reflect upon..

2008-09-19T03:04:00.002+07:00

Balasan Allah s.wt kepada orang yang ingkar (Al-Muddatsir 11-28)
[ 11 ]
Jangan engkau bimbang wahai Muhammad) biarkanlah Aku sahaja membalas orang (yang menentangmu) yang Aku ciptakan dia (dalam keadaan) seorang diri (tidak berharta dan anak pinak),
[12]
Dan Aku jadikan baginya harta kekayaan yang banyak,
[13]
Serta anak pinak (yang ramai), yang sentiasa ada di sisinya.
[14]
Dan Aku mudahkan baginya (mendapat kekayaan dan kekuasaan) dengan semudah-mudahnya.
[15]
Kemudian ia sangat ingin, supaya Aku menambahinya lagi;
[16]
Tidak sekali-kali (akan ditambahi) ! Kerana sesungguhnya dia menentang dengan degilnya akan ayat-ayat Kami (Al-Quran, yang disampaikan oleh Rasul Kami).
[17]
Aku akan menyeksanya (dengan azab) yang memuncak beratnya.
[18]
Kerana sesungguhnya ia telah memikirkan dan mereka-reka berbagai tuduhan terhadap Al-Quran) -
[19]
Maka binasalah dia hendaknya! Bagaimanakah dia berani mereka-reka (yang demikian)?
[20]
Sekali lagi: binasalah dia hendaknya! Bagaimana ia berani mereka-reka (tuduhan-tuduhan itu)?
[21]
Kemudian ia merenung dan memikirkan (berkali-kali: jalan-jalan mencaci Al-Quran, tetapi ia gagal);
[22]
Setelah itu ia memasamkan mukanya serta ia bertambah masam berkerut;
[23]
Kemudian ia berpaling (dari kebenaran) dan berlaku sombong angkuh,
[24]
Serta ia berkata: " (Al-Quran) ini tidak lain hanyalah sihir yang dituntut serta dipelajari (dari ahli-ahlinya);
[25]
"Ini tidak lain hanyalah kata-kata (rekaan) manusia!"
[26]
(Disebabkan kekufurannya itu) Aku akan masukkan dia ke dalam neraka Saqar.
[27]
Dan apa jalannya engkau dapat mengetahui kedahsyatan neraka Saqar itu?
[28]
Ia membakar mangsanya dengan tidak meninggalkan sisa, dan tidak membiarkannya (binasa terus)

Nau'dzubillahiminzaalik...

bedak sejuk

2008-09-18T01:21:00.002+07:00

bedak sejuk penyebab ke pengubat jerawat?
kalo cmtu knape pakai bedak sejuk ni, bile bangun pagi tengok makin banyak jerawat kat muke.
salah bedak sejukkah?

pimples2 d wajahku nampaknya semakin berlumba2 utk mendapatkan ruang dan cahaya matahari..

larger garbage bags

2008-09-18T01:19:00.002+07:00

our home garbage piles seem to be expanding very quickly since this month of Ramadhan.
Maybe we'll need larger garbage bags sooner..

changes are not made overnight

2008-09-18T01:16:00.002+07:00

Now i understand that changes cannot be made overnight
It needs a process, a lot of factors will be involved then, and maybe it'll take a very long,long time..

it's just Soal Hati, isn't it?

from nothing to something..

2008-09-18T00:15:00.002+07:00

i may not know a lot
but i'm learning
and i'm enjoying it..

although making mistakes and asking a lot of silly questions will be made along the way
i'll make do with it
knowing dat this item is needed
in the checklist
of the process to become from nothing to something..and progressing

"Celakalah orang2 yang hari ini nya tidak lebih baik dari semalam"
-Dr B.j aka Bambang Djarwoto..-

this upcoming week

2008-09-13T18:46:00.003+07:00

1) seleksi penerimaan asisten baru
2) assistency
3) thesis
4) guides to good prescribin
5) flight tickets returning to jogja!

alhamdulillah to Allah's mercy..
though past week had been tough (esp histo exam) Allah determines me to be able to made it thru still safe and sound, not dead yet n still breathing as humanely as possible..

praise be only to Allah, the creator
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah n alhamdulillah..

May i be able to liven up these remnants of Ramadhan..

human and its limitations

2008-09-12T18:09:00.000+07:00

kadang2 kita berniat buat baik tapi orang lain salah ertikan niat kita..
kadang2 kita buat baik tapi orang lain tak nak bagi cooperation
kadang2 kita buat baik, bukan saja org lain tak nak bagi cooperation malahan tak even bother to understand..

mungkin mmg sifat semulajadi manusia
kita hanya fikirkan diri kita
kite jelahh yg paling malang dlm dunia
jarang sekali cuba 'put urself in other people's shoes'
hobi hanya nk 'menjudge org lain'
ataupun merasa diri sendiri saje yg betul

apalah yg ade pada diri seorg manusia
diciptakan cume dari tanah je pun
itupun dah nak rase semue yg dia ada tu dia yang punya
tak sedar ke yang tu semua milik Tuhan
tak layak pun nak berkeluh kesah
tak layak pun nak complain itu ini
apa yg Tuhan bagi kat kite tu pun utk kita sumbangkan pada agamaNya juga
cube spare a thot for other people jugak
jgn asyik nk fikir pasal diri sendiri
banyak lagi org lain yg lebih teruk dari keadaan kita
sudah2 la...dari jadi selfish

sudah2 la juga
dr terus-terusan mengharap kepada manusia
kekecewaan dan sedih hati tak bertepi nanti
mmg Tuhan dah kate manusia tak sempurna
jadi kenapelah lagi kita still harap pada manusia..
sudah2 la

Tuhan tu Maha Ada
Tuhan tu Maha Sempurna
Tuhan tu Maha Tahu
Tuhan tu adalah sebaik2 Pembela
Dan pertolongan Tuhan tu ada bersama-sama org-org yang menolong agamaNya..

agama ini milik kita
apa gunanya hati kalau tak faham?

-Diri yang lemah lagi tak berdaya..
La haula wala quwwata illa billahil aliyyul 'azhim..

Allah tahu apa yg kita tak tahu, n Allah adalah sebaik2 Hakim..

how to balance a system?

2008-09-02T23:03:00.004+07:00

when u have so much work to be done and so many thoughts on ur head, wut u shud do is to get sorted!

1) Relax, take a deep breath
2) Remove all the distractions from ur brain, they're just fooling u around
3) Think of God, and all of his mercy upon U, He the Determiner of all things, things happen the way HE plans them to BE!
4) Believe in wut ur heart says, be confident of it
5) Don't fret! just be calm
6) Think - one thing at a time, don't get paranoid

Relax, relax and relax, enjoy enjoy n enjoy..stay focus dearie me (",)

when-i-get-busy-and-just forget,

O Allah,

My Lord,

don't let the wordly affairs

stray me

from my noble time

of worshipping

and humbling

myself to U,

cause U are

the Real cause

my living

don't let me

get carried away

with the thots

of the dunya

until

it stains

my heart

with its dirt

and take away

my peace

the Remembrance

of U..

A slave- Her grave sins of forgetting U with too little thots on U..

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan..

choose me amongst the person U guide to strive upon the Road Of Takwa..

(God, help me to be a better person..)

the emotions i'm at

2008-08-31T14:51:00.004+07:00

Not A Box

There were once some people who all saw their lives like empty boxes

They looked around the world collecting up the things they liked

They filled their lives in boxes with the goodies that they gathered

And they all felt in control, content and they all felt all right

They climbed inside their boxes, they settled with their trinkets

They neither looked nor learnt much more and closed their lids up tight

Once they fastened up their boxes they smiled there inside

And they all thought in their darkness that the world was clear and bright

But the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

It's the piece of the peace of Islam

Along came a wandering wise man whispering such words of truth,

Who stumbled on these boxes so separate side by side

He knocked upon the first one saying, "Please come out and feel the day"

An answer came from deep within, "You're not of us please go away"

He approached the second box and tapped thrice on the lid, saying,

"Peace to you inside, shall I show you a new way?”

Someone peaked out from a crack and said,

"You may just have a point, but it's so comfy in my box, in my box here I will stay."

But the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

It's the piece of the peace of Islam

He stood before the final box; a hiding face peaked out to him,

And much to his surprise he said, "I recognize those eyes"

"I see you and you see me, why not come out and be free?

Faith and flowers wilt and die if they are hidden from the sky."

Coz the world is not a box, There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

Now centuries lies between all the prophets, you and I,
Civilization are born and die each and every day,
We see good and bad and happy sad,
And made mistake we wished we hadn't made,
In our attempt to try and live up to their way,
But if we hide ourselves away,
Afraid to grow and learn, we might wake up in the flame of ignorant and sad burn,
And we will never be much more than casualties of war,
In a struggle we can't win if we have no faith to begin,
We got to tip the lid and let the sun light again,
Coz the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;
It's the piece of the peace of Islam

Afraid to Read

How many words she’s read before,

she’s consumed two thousand books or more.

Musty pulp and glue soundproof her tiny room.

She cannot understand why this book in her hand fascinates her now so much that she’s almost shy to touch.

“Don’t think about the words it’s just a book - paper and ink”

She reaffirms, remind herself, “a book can’t dictate what to think.”

It invites, intrigues her more than others on her shelf

“Is it just another book?” - she sits questioning herself.

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read,

the wisdom that’s revealed may burrow in her mind

She’ll be obliged to admit,

She’ll be obliged to submit

But will she be strong enough to live the truth she finds?

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read.

-Dawud Wharnsby Ali..

dont. be. afraid. stay. strong. face.your. fears

-me-

Dont worry, dont be afraid, Allah is with us..

-anonymous-

peluang untuk memperoleh kemuliaan..

2008-08-26T06:36:00.004+07:00

tak banyak yg dah berlaku dlm hidup sy beberape hari ni. cume mlm td sebahagian drp kami sisterhood celebrate birthday kepam di 'kedai kopi'. design kedai ni agak lawa tp sygnya servisnya sgt2 lambat dan adekah patut tempat yg ber aircond ni dibenarkan utk merokok! (sy tak boleh terime sungguh..busuk tudungku jadinye..). tapi ape2 pun heppy dpt celebrate besday kepam dgn sisters yg lain =). n to kepam heppy belated 23, smoge smakin heppy dan diberkati..=D (kepam turns 23 last sunday). oh, n kepam sudahkah anda habis menganalisa thesis kte?hehe. me lg ckit..plannye adalah utk kite memasukkan data dlm spss stelah tentamen anat jumaat ni..

peluang memperoleh kemuliaan

last sunday we (me, azra, doyot, iman n ain) went to taruna (a pesantren) for our weekly pengajian n tafseer surah al-ahzab was discussed. an emphasize more or less was given regarding kemuliaan yg diberikan kpd kaum wanita. Ustazah aka ibu umar mentioned about satu hadits tentang kedatangan seorang wafid (utusan) dr kaum wanita bertemu Rasulullah sallallahualaihiwassalam untuk meminta persamaan hak antara lelaki dan wanita. wanita itu menyampaikan keluhan para wanita bahawa kaum lelaki diizinkan keluar berperang dan berpeluang utk mendapatkan syahid sedangkan kaum wanita duduk di rumah menguruskan keperluan suami dan anak-anak, di manakah peluang kami untuk mendapatkan syahid? kemudian Rasulullah dengan penuh hikmahnya menjawab, kembalilah kamu kepada kaum wanita dan sampaikan kpd mereka bhw sekiranya mereka mentaati suami dan menjaga hak2 nya, mereka akan mendapat ganjaran yang sama namun sedikit sekali antara para wanita yang mengamalkannya..

Satu lagi hadits turut membincangkan tentang kemuliaan yang diberikan kpd kaum wanita iaitu sekiranya seorang wanita itu solat 5 waktu, puasa sebulan di bulan Ramadhan, menjaga kehormatannya dan taat pada suami wanita itu boleh masuk ke dlm syurga dari mana2 pintu yg diinginkannya.

Namun ada juga hadis yg berlawanan bahawa Rasulullah sallallahualaihiwassalam bersabda Aku ditunjukkan neraka dan banyak penghuninya adalah wanita kerana mereka mengingkari kebaikan suaminya.Mungkin juga banyak wanita yang berpotensi menjadi penghuni neraka krn kurang memerhatikan soal aurat dan akhlak. Na'uzubillahi min zalik.

Jadi kesimpulan yg boleh sy ambil di sini ialah Allah itu Maha Adil. Dia telah memberi persamaan hak kepada kedua-dua wanita dan lelaki tapi dalam bidang yang berbeza. Benar, Ar Rijal Qawwamun 'ala Nisaa' tetapi di sebalik kehebatan seorang lelaki itu ada seorang wanita yang menyokongnya.

Wanita itu berpeluang untuk mendapatkan kemuliaan di sisi Allah dengan mentaati suami namun sedikit sekali yang memanfaatkan peluang ini. Malahah, kalau dilihat pada zaman ini lebih banyak wanita yang prefer untuk mengutamakan karier drp keluarga. Rugilah kita kalau mensia2kan peluang kemuliaan yang Allah beri ini. Sesungguhnya janji Allah adalah benar.

Seorang ibu itu jugalah madrasah pertama anak-anak. Jadi, wanita harus mempunyai kesedaran untuk melengkapkan diri dengan ilmu-ilmu ilahi dan duniawi (ex: betulkan bacaan Qur'an, hafal qur'an dsb) kerana merekalah nanti yg akan 1st hand mendidik anak2 untuk melahirkan anak2 kecil itu sbgai generasi jundi2 islam nanti. kalau tak, jadilah mereka seperti ketam, mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus tapi dia sendiri berjalan bengkok.sangat besar n amanah tanggungjwb seorg wanita ini rupanya. tapi besar pulalah ganjaran yang Allah janjikan padanya jika berjaya melaksanakannya dengan baik.

Semulia2 pengabdian adalah pengabdian kepada suami- kata2 daripada Ibu Umar.
(after the devotion to Allah and His Messenger to add)

When u talk about women rights, we shud also talk about women responsibilities. How can u request on ur rights when u dont perform ur responsibility wholely?
-Dr Hjh Harlina Haji Siraj

Ballighuni walau ayaat..

inter 05 outbound day..

2008-08-23T17:24:00.001+07:00

sumtimes pics speak more than words and here are they.. (credits to sheng yew=) )

girls only

the girls and the facis

thanx =)

2008-08-22T20:23:00.006+07:00

its weeken, horraay!(alhamdulillah..)

just as i've been planning to spend my weken home alone, all to myself (finally..i thot), the INTER secretariate has sumting up their sleeves pulak. herm, i may choose je not to go but afraid that i might miss sum really gud quality time wif my batchmates maybe for the sekian kalinya..

i was somnolent the whole day thru, due to the fact that i didn't sleep at all last nite in order to finish up my pharmaco report. serves me right for procrastinating. i kickstarted doin' it just last nite. i was sleepyhead so badly to think that i even dozed off time usrah n tenteran anatomy!gosh, dozing off in anatomy lab is the last unthinkable things to do. thanks to doyot, has n nanie for being such a bunch of supporting friends (sudi melayan me thru thick and thins throughout the day n esp doyot for sudi layan2 me merepek2 =] ).

as reminded by has (to get sum sleep once i've gotten back home =) ), i immediately put myself to bed after performing my asar prayer. i was soo deeply lost in transition until azra woke me up for maghrib prayer. gosh, the sleep seemed to last forever. it felt so. when i woke up i thot i was in a different space ( so much for exaggerating). that's wut happens when u desperately need sleep.the kinda sleep that u'd get is the ' hard' sleep.

oh, and to adek2 06 : min, faz and siti yg sgt cute, thanx for the lovely green brooch! (wlupun upon request dari diri sendiri yg menggedik.theh hee..). thanx sesangat, korg memang cuteee,hehe =).

n to cek powh...ayyoo dah nak 2 minggu cek powh jadi housemate baru kitorg gantikan kak azy. tak wish 'welcoming the new tenant' lagi..cek powh sayang..welcome to our living shack, to our humble abode, to our small yet warm and cozy escapade..ur presence in the house brings out a lot more love to the house..its highly appreciated, welcoming u as a part of us and hopefully us as a part of u too..susah senang same dirase..=D

to lovely queen iman, get well sooon from ur molar teeth tootache..kesian die..i cud imagine how painful it is..the 'get well soon wish' goes along to doyot..(rajin2 makan ubat =) )..kepam n yati (hope u both recuperate completely from the illness..soon insyaAllah)..

too bad iman n doyot cant join us for the so called inter 05 'fun day' tomoroe =(..

ohh, and im missing my siblings laa..just afta magrib, me, azra n belle chatted bout our sisters n brothers...how we might deviate in sum things, but deep inside there's the love that even though we don show it its alwiz there. the same goes to me n my brothers. i just love to pick up fights with them (theh he..jahat kan) but we both know that we dun really mean the harsh words we said and the bad things we've done. ada kedekatan dalam pergaduhan, hehe. i suppose u both know me too well..missing u both from the bottom of my hearts.

us during kak huda's engagement..timah, me, ain (my lil cousin), kak huda, ecad, man n yg kecik kat bwh tuu unaa...

kak huda cheer up..smile a lot ya..i really miss u..=). i believe we'll make it thru..

stalker separuh masa

2008-08-22T01:13:00.004+07:00

tgh syiok2 buat pharmaco (im not even half way thru..remind u..) teringat pulak kat kak salwa. ntah kenape boleh teringat kat de. pelik sungguh. kak salwa adalah housemate kak huda (kakak kesayangan saye =) )kat kl, then my fingers got itchy to google her blog (manelaa tau ade gamba wedding de harituu de dh upload, out of curiosity). cos my sis tima dok cerite bout her wedding yg i cudnt go cos dah balik jogja n bout incidents at her wedding in regards to her n her hubby yg sgt cute (sbb katenye character mereka agak opposite..hehe opposites attract!). then terjumpe pulak blog zauj kak salwa..(dr khairil idham) . bolehlah bukak link di name tersebut. penuh dengan puisi2 yg best! sum of them are even published in the papers and antologi bahasa bumi yg is available d pasaran malaysia recently. waa kagumnye dgn mereke berdue!!

kepade kak salwa..sy tak sempat wish..slamat pengantin baru..=)..baraakallahuma..smoga mahligai yg dibina sentiasa di bawah naungan ridhaNya.. pas ni mesti dh x kirim buku2 dari sini kat sy lagi kan??..dh ade zauj seorg penulis! ;)

Sesungguhnya Allah itu adalah sebaik2 pencipta!
He Knows.. =)

this was waaaay back...

2008-08-21T21:12:00.006+07:00

ciloking from rashid's fotopages was dis photo which seemed like only ' a few days back'. gosh, has it really been 4 years??

"uS wHEn THings WEre A lOt SimPlEr.."

GRADUATION DINNER 2005 A-LEVEL KTT

tash-sheza-ipahh-diana-jegha-ael-farah-penutie-toy-aida

6-2-a2 roxxx!!hehhee...

herm..now i really2 feel old..(hehhee..poyoo!) =p

10 mu'assafat

2008-08-20T07:42:00.003+07:00

Objektif tarbiyah (didikan hati) adalah untuk menghasilkan individu2 dengan 10 mu'assafat ini :

1) akidah yang sejahtera
2) ibadah yang benar
3) akhlak yang mantap
4) pemikiran yang berwawasan
5) jasmani yang kuat
6) mampu mencari mata pencarian
7) berdisiplin / mampu menguasai diri sendiri (high self control)
8) tersusun dalam pengurusan (self-organized)
9) menjaga waktu
10) bermanfaat kpd org lain..

let's self evaluate our own self. kalau kita menggelar diri kita org2 yang telah menerima tarbiyah dan sendiri berada di medan tarbiyah, apakah kita sudah memenuhi kesepuluh ciri2 tersebut. ohh, diriku terasa sungguh..esp part num 3, 7, 8 dan 9. oh..di manakah silapnya??

Tarbiyyah itu mendidik bukan mengajar.
Tarbiyyah itu mengasihi bukan mendominasi.
Tarbiyyah menghasilkan insan2 rabbani bukan insan2 yang tidak peduli..

Ya Allah didiklah hatiku..Bantulah aku untuk memahami kalamMu..bantulah aku untuk menghayati hakikat hidup ini..

"Sesungguhnya perumpaan dunia dan diriku adalah seperti seorang yang beristirahat sejenak di bawah sepohon pokok pada siang yang amat panas..kemudian ia pergi meninggalkannya.."

( HR Ahmad)

curhattt

2008-08-19T14:42:00.005+07:00

Saya sangat sedih hari ni
Mujur saya dah call kakak saya utk curhat.
lega ckit..

ade ke patut kak huda ketawakan saya?
hins2...saaabaaa jelahhhh...

target hari ni : buat lukisan anatomi, buat farmako, baca histo exam esok
tips hari ni : tak mo pk perkara yg saya tak buat. sy akan gunakan otak saya hanya utk berfikir perkara2 yg akan saya buat!

oh, sy otw nak beli tiket balik raye.mungkin hari isnin, 29 sept 08. air asia jogja-kl. herm,moge2 ni adalah pilihan yg paling tepat, insyaAllah..

akhir kate pade diri sendiri;
chill out n cheer up toy..!

jalan ini..

2008-08-14T20:32:00.005+07:00

jalan ini jalan yang sukar
jalan ini berliku-liku
jalan ini penuh sepi
jalan ini saksi air mata
jalan ini ku korban segala..

tapi..
jalan ini jalan cinta
jalan ini jalan hamba
jalan ini fitrah jiwa
jalan ini ku dekat dengan-Nya
dan jalan ini..
kebenaran tiada tara..

kebenaran

by A Samad Said

Setiap yang benar

betapa ditekan

tetap menjalar

tanpa dibaja

kan tetap mekar

tanpa udara pun

kan tetap segar

the self monologue-ing

2008-08-12T23:45:00.010+07:00

i soo want to study rite now but there's sumthing bugging me (yeah.once in a blue moon,im a stay up-er)

am i being emotional?..
am i emotional?..
am i explosive? (i mean kuat melenting)..

in fact, in these past few days, i was deeply tested by Allah to prove that i'm also careless n forgetfull as well..wow, wut a package! to add to the flavour, eh hem.., i'm also a freak!

the truth is that they're all true.
the truth is bitter but it's true

i am emotional, dramatic, explosive,forgetful, careless n a freak.
that's me
oh my god, that's me.

i'd better change

heppy burstday dearest ayah!

2008-08-06T19:15:00.006+07:00

im just soo tired.if i bump my head on the pillow, i think i'll get to sleep right away.unfortunately, i just cant sleep now. i'll have to postpone it for a while.

today is ayah's birthday. my dearest dad is turning 46! sweet 46 ayah..hope lawak2 ayah akan menjadi bertambah kualiti pas ni.(heh gurau..wut a miserable birthday wish!). hope ayah bakal dapat menantu2 yg soleh lagi best..(eh..lagi la tak kait tak?hah ha..).hope hidup ayah semakin berkat dihiasi anak2 yang soleh (n solehah) lagi menyolehkan. semoga anak2 ayah akan jadi org2 yg berguna yg dpt menjadi saham bagi ayah di dunia dan akhirat kelak. doakan anak2 ayah yg nakal2 ni semue selalu..tha mintak maaf if tak menjadi anak yg baik selame ni ;)

smoga Allah memberkati usaha2 ayah selama ni, sama ada yang kelihatan ataupun tidak. only He knows..

heppy 46th burstday ayah..

Luv u from the bottom of my heart..

thots,

me ;)

Love always wins

2008-08-05T06:14:00.003+07:00

there are so many questions about life that u storm urself with, yet u just dont have the answers.

u seek the answers elsewhere externally just to find out that the answers lies in ur doorstep, it actually lies deep inside ur heart.
but sumtimes ur just doubtful about it.

reminds me of a saying in Tuesdays with Morrie:
'Life is a series of push and pulls.
But which will win?
Love always wins.. "

And lemme just add, love n takwa to Allah will always win too..
That's my basis of choice.

No matter how much i want a thing,
no matter how deep my love for some things,
It's still U above all matters
And its still U all that matters,
isn't it?

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." (Al-Baqarah : 216)

May He always be my parameter of choice...

"Tuhanku, jangan biarkan aku sendirian. Dan Engkau adalah sebaik-baik Warits." (QS. Al-Abiya': 89).

planning for the day

2008-08-05T05:43:00.004+07:00

from now on, i'll teach myself to 'plan for the day'. that's what the seniors taught me to.

n today i'm going to finish my class at 2. n afterwards i'm going to work on my thesis (i know i've been brooding over my thesis again and again yet not doing sumthing productive over it-sigh*).

n then in the eve i also plan to attend sum pengajian class. n tonite spend sum time with the books.

the art of planning is prioritizing. n my priority for the day is my thesis.so i might have to skip other stuffs if i have to.

yep, the art of prioritizing. the priority of prioritizing and the most priority of all the priorities. i hope i'll master them well.

kickstarting the day with bismillah. let's hope this whole 'planning for the day' thing works out..

the mess and clutters in my life

2008-08-03T20:47:00.003+07:00

back home in jogja. sweet lovely,home. it seems like a blink of an eye just passed since i last saw the face of my mother and now her image could only be captured in the form of a picture in a frame. changes come and go,whether u like it or not. the good thing is that our house's front yard is now filled with cute shrubs or tiny plants, where vacant ground can hardly be seen. i really love this new change.

the sad thing is that, kak azy is leaving jogja, returning home to Malaysia,graduated as a doctor yesterday. must admit that i think im gonna miss her. ever since we've stayed in the house together she's been sort of a mother to me. and with her finally having to leave,i might notice the differences (i'll miss her cooking particularly!). in fact, a lot of seniors are leaving us. kak am's n kak fied's batch is graduating this december. some of them are really close to me,us. that will cause an impact. i bet jogja wont be the same again. it just wont be the same. im gonna miss them =(

my room is messy.our house is cluttered with papers. i wish that i cud just dump them all away. life is just complicated. and i sense that life as an adult had just begun. how i wish i am husna again and again.

tagged!

2008-07-29T17:30:00.002+07:00

i'm tagged....,by beloved kak fied..=)

I've watched a programme at astro where a research has been done to see some habits of university students and here are the top 10:
sleep
makan maggi
stay up
last minute assignment
dating
main game
tgk movie
afraid of seeing the lecturer for CH
lazy to wake up from sleep
last minute study

Sleep
I’ve never really been a sleeping beauty (or ugly)ever since I entered 2ndary school. cos I started to realize dat time is soo precious. I used to sleep less during weekdays and try to cover my sleep during in between classes and Friday evening (cos no prep class!hehe). but nowadays im more critical and conscious over the time I spent on sleeping- I calculate them dailyly! i make sure I sleep lesser than 8 hours a day (in average 6 hours a day,huhu).kadang2 terlajak juge. When I cut on my sleep, I realize dat I cud be more productive. To get sumting, we just have to sacrifice,dun we? And rehat sebenar seorg pejuang adalah apabila sudah di alam kubur nanti..semoge kita termasuk org2 tu,hehe

Makan megi
susah nk elak.kat maahad dulu,slalu buat pesta mkn megi beramai2.seronok gile if ade member yg amik air panas dr dewan makan pas prep mlm.air panas mu, air panas ku jua.kdg2 air tak brape panas pun kitorg balun.jadilah megi separe keras.tu pun boleh berselera.haha.penah juge satu era tgh berdisiplin tinggi,puase sepenuhnye dr mkn megi.maklumle,tak baik utk otak.tp sat je,skrg dh rutin balik.apetah lg sy berhousemate dgn seorg ‘meggi girl’,haha.terpengaruh sy dibuatnye.cume skrg dh boikot jename maggi (sbb nestle produk yahudi),kite balun jename mi segera lain pule spt mie rusky dan mamee.hehe.

Stay up
dolu2 ms kat mahad mmg sy laa burung hantu.pikir2 balik berani juge kdg2 tinggal sy sorg2 stay up kt bilik prep ujung tu.bile balik bilek sume org dh tdo.then pi toilet sensorg.wahaha.bukannye ape,keje umah byk sgt.akibatnye,slaluula sy subuh gajah and jd org last tinggalkan floor aspuri utk p skolah tiap2 hr (xpadan ngan pengawas!).tp sjak sy msk uni,sy sedar habit ni tak bagus utk kesihatan dn juge iman sy.hehe.dan perlahan2 sy bejaye merubah pattern tdo bertahun2 sy dr ‘stay up’er menjadi ‘wake up’-er. Kalo sy byk keje cmne pon sy akn tdo pas isya’ dolu then bgn jam 1 or 2 pg. semoga kita sama2 memanfaatkan akhir 1/3 mlm yg sgt masyuk ini utk berkhalwat dgn Tuhan. Cume kdg2 once in a while,sy ter’break’ juge rule ni. hehe

Last minute assignment
ni mmglaa hobi sy.sy ade terbace org2 yg suke wat keje last minet ni adlh org2 yg perfectionist atau lack of self esteem.mereka mengambil prinsip ‘all or nothing’.pk2 betul juge.cos if buat awal2 mcm tak tau ayt mane yg sesuai atau terbaek.tp kalo last minet kan dh waktu kritkikal, taram jelaa ape yg ade kat otak,dh tak amik pusing ‘apekah ade ayt yg lebih baik’.kdg2 tu dhlaa last minet maseh afford nk expect kerja yg dihasilkan perfect.ade hati tu.haha.mmg laa suke high adrenaline rush.dn setiap kali ulang habit xmenyehatkan ni,setiap kali tulaa berazam xnak ulang lg,tp tetap juge mungkir janji.hahai.ape nk jadilaa.boleh stroke dibuatnye!

Dating
Suke je dating dgn girl frens all around.fave date partner ofkoslaa azra. haha. bile teringat dating teringat kat fatimah (kak gym),suke noo ajak girl frenz de dating. haha. dulu2 pun sy suke dating ngan best fren Indonesian sy fani, tp skrg de dh kawen (dh bersalin dh pun) so now mangse2 sy adlh anggote2 sisterhood lain yg ade laa

Main game
Sy dh lame tak maen game.hehe.takde mase.wuu.kat comp sy pun mmg xde install ape2 game pon. solitaire pon sy tak reti maen. cume ms sy kat sendowo blok F dulu sy slalu akn lepak kat bilik has kalo nk main game Zuma,haha. riadah lg best kan?rindu maen netball tiap2 ptg mase kat ktt dolu2.rinduuuuu sgt! ;)

Tgk movie
Ni pun sgt2 jarang sejak msk uni.kalo sy tgk pon, movie yg ade mesej dan ofkos yg tak ‘lame’.bukan lama tapi ‘lame’.hehe.kene tapis dulu.awal2 dulu, adela sy dan housemates,kak azy n azra wat ‘tayangan minggu ini’ kat ruang tamu bersantai2 tgk movie scr berjemaah.sgt sweet laa moments mcm tu.=)

Afraid of seeing the lecturer for CH
tgk mood.kdg2 berani,kdg2 rase cuak.tertakluk pade suasana self esteem saye.

Lazy to wake from sleep
rasenye sy cm senang je nk bgn dr tido.ye dok,housematesku??hehhhe.

Last minute study
slaluu x sempat..nk wat cemane?n for beginning for every blok pun slalu berazam tanak stadi last minet,tp akan buat juge.wuu..konon2nye byklaa hal2 negare lain yg perlu diselesaikan,smpi stadi kene letak tepi dulu.banyakla,pelajar cabuk!hohoo.apekan daye kuu tak pernah insaf utk adrenaline rush..isk2.

and now im tagging..
1) my ugm frens..=) anyone?
2) Saffa @ banat..(buat ye jgn tak buat..=D)

Generasi Harapan

2008-07-27T23:01:00.003+07:00

Dimana dicari pemuda Kahfi
Terasing demi kebenaran hakiki
Dimana jiwa pasukan Badar berani
Menoreh nama mulia perkasa abadi

Umat melolong di gelap kelam
Tiada pelita penyinar terang
Penunjuk jalan kini membungkam
Lalu kapankah fajar kan datang

Mengapa kau patahkan pedangmu
hingga musuh mamapu membobol bentengmu
Menjarah menindas dan menyiksa
Dan kita hanya diam sekedar terpana

Bangkitkan negri lahirkan generasi
Pemuda harapan tumbangkan kedzaliman

Wajah dunia Islam kini memburam
Cerahkan dengan darahmu
Panji Islam telah lama terkulai
Menanti bangkit kepalmu

metamorphosis

2008-07-08T22:26:00.002+07:00

let go of my fears
sumtimes i just cant
but i wish i cud
and i'd do it quick
cos time is just too short
to let it dwells on
for too long

mental @ heart cold?

2008-07-08T20:32:00.003+07:00

When ur bak at home, nothing else matters anymore. we're stuck in wut we call the ‘comfort zone’.And to break away from the luxury comfort of it is as difficult as breaking away from prison. That's wut im feeling rite now. Anyhow, i still try to make my hols beneficial by lending out helping hands as much as I cud, running errands here and there, teaching my brothers,entertaining my mum and husna-a five year old kid who is getting smarter and smarter day by day and keeping awake after subuh (I dun ever wanna break this gud habit-time is soo precious!),reading as time allows me to- I’ve read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The kite runner by khaleed hosseini. Both books are good but my preference is Paulo coelho’s. I’ve discovered that I like his book themes-it’s inspirational and it reflects upon life and aspects of spirituality where I think everyone cud relate to. His another work, Brida (which I’ve flipped thru in MPH bookstore) is also good and of course, most of his books are international bestsellers.

And rite now I’m on my way of reading ‘Bagaimana menyentuh hati-kiat-kiat memikat objek dakwah’ to save my flames of Islamic spirit from fading by the blow of this ‘vacation wind’. huhhu. this very good book is written by abbas as siisiy-one of the 1st generation of Ikhwanul Muslimin members who received direct ‘tarbiyah qur’aniyah’ from Asy Syahid Hassan Al Banna. Of course, Hassan Al Banna, who can be considered the Mujadid of the 13th century is very well known for his beautiful akhlak and behaviour, the world misses people like him. I love the narration of this book plus the Qur’anic verses selected matches very well with the subjects that are discussed in this book. think this book is a must read to all muslims. Wake up oh muslims!

To everyone’s enjoying holidays,maybe it’s ok to have mental freeze,ur mind needs the rest, but dunt let it rests for too long,it’s a predilection for Alzheimer,plus most importantly,dun ever let ur HEART freezes cold. It needs nourishment and supplication. Keep it alive and burning, wut’s worser than a dying heart? Give sum thot for the ummah,k? The ummah needs us.

Last but not least, here I am going to promote our PKPMI Polaroid writing contest-3 categories – 1) opinions or thots, 2) creative witings and 3) places of writings. For those who are finding ways to kill their ample time during this leisure, do submit ur participations, talented people!!

husna main dokter2

2008-07-08T17:29:00.001+07:00

ptg td husna ajak main dokter2.comel sgt.stetoskop de kecik.tak muat nk masuk telinga sy.pastu set dokter mini mainan husna siap ade syringe dan jugak reflex hammer!which is soo cute.i've realized dat ever since we were small, we're doctrined to be doctors.no wonder,indirectly it contributes to why choosing medicine as a profession is so commercialized and popular.it's like the all season 'in thing'.well for me,i didn't really wanna be a doctor yet i was encouraged by my bestest fren marlia to be one.so i decided to just 'go with the flow'.but now,as i grow older, hence choosing to take responsibilities over my every action,i had to admit that there's a price to pay to be a physician and u have to pay the price also once u've accomplished to become one.there's a responsibility looming ahead,a message to be spreadt that is not just fulfilled by serving the sick and the needy. being a doctor is just a platform. a platform to achieve the 'other bigger things' or to reach out to the world, to extend ur heart to spread 'the bigger message' which is the message of islaam and peace..

"Katakanlah,'Inilah jalan(agama)ku,aku dan orang-orang yang mengikutiku mengajak kalian kepada Allah dengan hujah yang nyata. Mahasuci Allah, dan aku tidak termasuk orang-orang musyrik" (Yusuf:108)

with great power comes great responsibility

Allah Knows..

2008-06-10T05:01:00.006+07:00

Allah Knows

(by Zain Bikha and Dawud Wharnsby Ali)

When you feel all alone in this world

And there’s nobody to count your tears

Just remember, no matter where you are

Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load

And you wonder how far you can go

With every step on that road that you take

Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out

There’s one thing of which there’s no doubt

Allah knows

And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth

Every star in this whole universe

Allah knows

When you find that special someone

Feel your whole life has barely begun

You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone

Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes

Catch a glimpse of paradise

And you see your child take the first breath of life

Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart

See your whole world fall apart

And you try to go on but it seems so hard

Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose

Through the valleys and hills we go

With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown

Allah knows

Every grain of sand,

In every desert land,

He knows.

Every shade of palm,

Every closed hand,

He knows.

Every sparkling tear,

On every eyelash,

He knows.

Every thought I have,

And every word I share,

He knows.

Allah knows

i dunno if i cud handle dis or not

2008-06-10T03:27:00.002+07:00

my block exam and OSCE is next week

and im running full fledge having to teach the juniors on a daily regular basis 10-4pm.its impossible for me to shift the task to the other assistants cos i noe they're also occupied wif their own tight schedule of teaching.

wen im bak at round 5 im oredi a dead pant-->sleepy head

instead of reading my own block's stuffs,i have to read on wut i have to teach,which varies everyday

havent even studied for my own OSCE!

but i just keep telling myself to keep on working,cos im almost der.i just have to work dat extra mile plus focusing hard.get myself under control,keep the spirits coming..

most importantly,pray hard,dun ever give up,just a little bit more toy!

I HAVE IN MY HEART THE WILL
AND IN MY HANDS THE MEANS

~from the bottom of my heart which is still in extreme clueless over neuro n psychiatry block and daydreaming wishing dat 24 hours can turn into 48 hours.

*sigh

move on!extra mile,remember...?

catarsis

2008-06-07T07:24:00.005+07:00

today i've slept really really long hours..its been a long time since i've slept this long.today is saturday and im really glad declaring that its holiday!no class on saturday..nevertheless i have ALS skills station training dis eve afta asar.

yesterday's tutorial really did open my mind a bit.Dr Ismail was referring to the role of a doctor as catarsis.catarsis means window.u open a window to the patient's heart.catarsis is being a good listener,let the patient pour his heart out n showing empathy.n he asked us to differentiate between showing sympathy n empathy.

A doctor should show empathy but not sympathy.Sympathy is you share what the patient is feeling,n u agree with whatever the patient feels,strong emotional involvement really occurs here.but empathy is u show concern n understand the patient's feeling but not until u get emotionally involved n attached as well.n instead of agreeing with whatever the patient feels,u give alternatives to his solution.In other words,u draw a borderline,the borderline is professionalism.

Take an example.If a patient is crying n complaining about her husband and blaming him,sympathy will make u as a doctor cry as well,agree with her complains n join in in blaming her husband.But if ur empathic,u will listen well,giving proper non verbal response to the patient woes n instead of agreeing with her complains,u give alternatives,from many sides of viewpoint so a rational solution cud be derived.

And as a female (and a strongly expressive ones!), i feel that its really hard to show empathy not sympathy.As u know,females tend to be emotional n love to get emotionally involved.I think all these while,if a friend or person comes to me to 'curhat',i'd shown sympathy instead of empathy kerana tak 'sampai hati' cos u noe dat most people will be in denial when they're tangled up in a problem.

i realy need to work on my empathy not sympathy,so my mind will be healthy.hehe.who says being a doctor is easy?huhhhuuu.sigh*

p/s: one week more-exam n OSCE n pharmaco report plus proposal for MSK (Majlis Suai Kenal) plus ECG study n assisstency.pheww,hope i'll manage to get thru.owh,dun forget to go to mbak warni's!

oh,and thx to juniors 07 for such wonderful nasyeed yesterday!that was an effort n soo cute~!(siap ade conductor sume..hehhe).luv u guys a heap!=D

tiada sehebat motivasi islami..

2008-06-06T05:40:00.003+07:00

Pagi ini sy memulakan hr dengan penuh motivasi setelah membaca a chapter dlm buku 'Saksikan bahawa aku seorang muslim' oleh Salim A Fillah tentang Abu Bakar dan Umar yang saling bersaing untuk mendapatkan keredhaan Allah. Umar,Si Pejuang,sentiasa berambisi besar utk mengungguli Abu Bakar dlm amal dan pengorbanan.Seorang wanita tua pernah menolak tawaran pertolongan dr Umar dgn mengatakan,"Sudah ada yg membantuku..".Dalam pengintaian Umar di keesokan harinya, beliau melihat Abu Bakar terhendap-hendap memikul karung berisi keperluan hidup si nenek.

Begitu juga dlm Perang Tabuk, seruan jihad harta oleh Rasulullah disambut Umar dgn segera.Saat Rasulullah brtanya berapa yg ia tinggalkn utk keluarga,Umar mengatakan dgn bangga,"Sebanyak yg aku serahkn pd Allah dn rasulNya.Tetapi betapa tercengangnya Umar saat pertanyaan yg sama ditujukan pada rivalnya,Abu Bakar.Dgn gemilangnya Abu Bakar menjawab, "Cukuplah Allah dan RasulNya yg aku tinggalkn utk keluargaku!"

Menjadikan Abu Bakar sbgi kompetitor amal memang harus membuat Umar bergumam, "Mulai hari ini aku sedar,nampaknya aku tak akn pernah dapat mengalahkan Abu Bakar!"

2 pengajaran yg boleh kita ambil dr kisah ini.Yang pertama,manusia memang mempunyai ego, kerana itu kita suka bersaing dan membanding-bandingkan diri kita dgn org lain. Begitu juga dgn sikap2 kita yg lain,seperti sikap pemarah, suka mengeluh dan mengkritik.Ibarat alam yg mempunyai hukum,begitu juga manusia,sifat2 ini ibarat human nature manusia.Dan sesungguhnya Allah, Sang Pencipta sudah sedia maklum dgn sifat makhluk2 ciptaanNya sendiri:

"Sesungguhnya manusia diciptakan bersifat keluh kesah lagi kikir"(Al-Maarij:19-21)

Tetapi manusia2 yg unggul,mampu menyalurkan human nature ataupun kekurangan manusia ini ke jalan utk menuju keredhaan Allah seperti apa yg dicontohkan oleh Umar Al Khatab di sini. Siapa tahu,mungkin kekurangan yg kita rasa kita miliki, sebenarnya mengandung hikmah dan sebaliknya merupakan kelebihan kita.Dan manusia yang hebat adalah manusia yang mampu menyalurkan kekurangannya ke jalan menggapai keredhaan Tuhannya.

Jadi kalau anda seorg yg ego dan gemar bersaing, bersainglah..tidak ada yg salah,tp bersainglah dalam beramal dan mencari kasih sayangNya..
Kalau anda seorg yg pemarah dan pengkritik (boleh jadi juri AF) berhentilah mengkritik sekeling anda,sebaliknya marahlah diri sendiri dan mengeluhlah kerana gagal menyembah Allah the way Allah deserves to be worshipped..
Kalau kita merasa diri kurang cantik ..tak mengapelah, siape tahu ini dapat memupuk rasa rendah diri dan sifat kehambaan kita kpdNya..dgn lebih fokus kpd mengasah kecantikan hati..

Disebabkan sy sdg dlm blok 'Human Behaviour and psychiatry' boleh juga diambil contoh org2 skizophrenia.Mungkin sekali fikir mcm 'musibah' dpt skizo tp sejarah menyaksikan org2 skizo seperti John Forbes yg mana kisah hidupnya di capture dlm 'A Beautiful Mind' mampu menghasilkan karya ilmiah yg hebat kerana 'kelebihan berfikirnya' itu sehinggalah mampu dinobatkan Hadiah Nobel pd tahun 1994 utk game theory nya.Sayangnya dia tak beriman.Mungkin contoh ini agak extreme,tp sy harap msg sy sampai..;).Takpelah kalau anda rasa anda ada mental disorder,just salurkan je ke medan yg sepatutnye..

Berhentilah utk cuba 'mengubah' tapi berusahalah 'menyalurkan' ke jalur yg wajar.Berhentilah utk cuba menjadi org lain,tapi sebaliknya asahlah apa yg ada dlm diri kita utk memberikan yg terbaik di mataNya..Seperti yg teman baik sy Azra katekan,sesungguhnya penciptaan Allah itu Maha Sempurna..x ada yg sia2..

Dan pengajaran yg kedua.Abu Bakar..subhaanallah,sebaik2 sahabat..buat sy merasa tak semestinya kita kn jadi galak atau 'perkasa' utk menjadi pemimpin.tapi Abu Bakar dgn kelembutan hati dan sifat yg ada pada dirinya membuatkannya mulia di sisi Allah..Kerana hati yg lembutnya juga,wajarlah dia dipanggil As Siddiq-"yg membenarkan" melambangkan betapa tinggi keyakinan iman dan kesetiannya pada Allah dan Rasul..

Semoga diri ini, walaupun masih jauh,mampu merangkak-rangkak merintis jalan 'mujahadah diri kerana Allah' seperti yg telah ditelusuri oleh para-para sahabat hebat ini..Amin..

*Rindu syurga dan kasihNya...

sickness at bay

2008-06-02T06:48:00.003+07:00

this is not the best time of my life yet i think im getting ill.
feverish,fluish plus headache
n how unmotivated i am to study,urgh
i promised myself to write my own quick review of the previous PERMAI 08,but cudnt manage to steal sum time.later,maybe.

pray for me that im fit enough to encounter this remaining 3more weeks of my 3rd yer-probably the busiest plus frenziest..aya yayy..!

kenape susah sgt nk buat modul ni??

2008-05-20T11:39:00.002+07:00

i tink im having this writer's block.or syllabus maker block.err wutever.i've been sitting in front of the laptop since after subuh dis morning yet i havent managed to start writing the asthma module yet!i just dunno how to begin with.its just ASTHMA.not sumthing major.Global Initiative For Asthma 2007.i have been looking at u since dis morning.please give cooperation.i have piles of other stuffs to be done.*sigh*.my patience is tested at its very best today.may i excell in this test ya Allah..

the usually impatient toy--->the patient thahirah
*astaghfirullah..sabar2..

ini pun sy suke..

2008-05-19T22:17:00.001+07:00

kak nisa' sy cui lagik..mintak izin..hehe =D

Sesungguhnya menakjubkan urusan orang mukmin itu, semua urusannya adalah kebaikan, dan hal itu tidak mungkin terjadi kecuali pada seorang mukmin, jika ia mendapatkan kenikmatan ia bersyukur, maka itulah yang terbaik untuknya, dan jika ia tertimpa kesusahan ia bersabar, maka itulah yang terbaik untuknya
(Hadith riwayat Muslim)

a constant reminder

2008-05-19T21:31:00.002+07:00

sy sgt suke dgn phrase ni..(taken from beloved kak nisa's blog =] )

Lelaki dan perempuan yang baik bukanlah yang memakai kosmetik Islam pada sms berbau Islam atau pakaian berwarna Islam, tetapi pada kekuatan menghalang diri dari saling mengotorkan pasangan dengan maksiat... (saifulislam.com)

..aku jd malu sendiri dan tambah rendah diri..diri penuh hina dan nista..

the early morning blues syndrome..

2008-05-19T05:30:00.000+07:00

Waking up with the feeling of misery and so sleepyish.though I think I did sleep excessively.feeling so hopeless and deadpants, with stacks of stuff nagging to be done, things are not on my side. I miss home n I think I need to get away. As I went to the kitchen to make coffee and fill my empty tummy, I listened to the birds chirping cheerfully on our house’s roof, and it filled my heart with some sort of serenity. True, some things may have not went my way or the way I wanted them to be. But I’m not the only creature in this planet and my problems are not in the centre of this world. How dreadful I might have felt, this world is still running smoothly without intrusion from my insignificant miseries, the way God has planned it to be. And some beautiful things are happening at the other part of this world, with hopes restored in the heart of so many people. Many things have happened but Allah has its own mysterious way to show his signs of mercy and love. Too bad if we cant see them..

Which of Allah’s favour can u deny? (Ar Rahman)

Replace misery with content,
Hopelessness with humility,
Sadness with hope,
Deadpants with a kamikaze spirit

The food and drinks I eat,
The love of so many I received,
The ability to make a huge change,
The wealth which is enough,
The opportunity to seek knowledge,
The voice and words that could rhyme
And I'm heard

I’m just a small part of this beautiful world