self resolution 1430H

here's my personal self resolution checklist in conjunction with this new 1430H year:

1) Al-Qur'an recitation 1 juz per day insyaAllah
2) pray extra heed to my solah--towards achieving high quality solah!
3) check n balance the condition of my heart every now n then- qalbu management to be seeked..always!
4) towards a more purified islamic fikrah, ruhiyah and way of living
5) time is gold. treasure it
6) focus more on acting--implementing action instead of just thinking and talking

may ur prayers accompany me. pray that i'll be a better person.

"..i have in my hearts the will and in my hands the means.."

Salam Maal Hijrah
1430H,
pray for our brothers and sisters in Palestine

take control

it's been ages since i last watched a movie, but a few days back cekpah came to my room for a chitchat n all of a sudden we ended up watching the movie twilight from a cd. this i suppose is the 4th time cekpah is watching it(hehhe..bocor rahsie hang). if a lesson could be derived from this movie, for me it would be learning 'to take control'. maybe for those who have watched the movie- might be utterly clueless to which scene in the movie im referring to. for information it's the scene when bella's bespectacled friend ( i cant remember the girl's name) was ruminating over eric not asking her to the prom n bella responded by saying 'take control' and ask him instead. the scene might be trivial and the issue is 'super-lame' (who cares bout who dates who anyway-prom..apekahh?) but bella's respond 'take control' is crucial and i think is applicable to my life as a lesson.

i've always been a person who let life travels loosely. i don't put any tight rope to the proper end of it. i live life like water. it just flows. i don't plan. never did. take an example, i didn't even plan to become a doctor when i was in secondary school. i just let time decides, whatever time will bring. and until now, i don't even have a proper plan for my future. i'm only sure that i'd love to further my studies to be a specialist. to think of it it might be 'cewl' just to live life the way it is, but on the other hand, there are loose ends to it. like the saying goes, 'failing to plan means planning to fail'. of course, human proposes God predestines, but being able to plan properly for ur life also means that ur taking control over things that u can change, and the outcome results in u becoming more confident in navigating ur life, which way u want it to be heading.

so in my case, i think i need to re'revise' my life and come out with a certain plan and action regarding it. im 23 year old already, and next year i'll be turning 24. i'm aging, gosh. wut i should do is to start 'taking, remote controlling'-take control of my emotion, the kind of person i want to evolve being, take control over my studies, the kind of doctor i'll soon becoming. taking control also means to minimize worrying, instead-channelling it towards acting as in the saying; 'action speaks louder than words'. although it might not be 100% ideally turns out the way i'd be expecting cause there'll be God's hands in the moulding, at least
--> 'aim for the skies, at least u'll land among the stars'. like arai's quote to ikal from andrea hirata's tetralogi of laskar pelangi said: 'jangan pernah mendahului takdir'-interpreted as; before fate decides ur life, take maximize control over it beforehand. u have the ability to maximize the control over ur life if u believe so!

"..Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves.. " (Ar-Ra'd:11)

another day =)

another day..another adventure! (haha..adventure laa sangaat)..
goin' jogging with iman at 6.30
sending my motor to honda service centre at 8.30 (shock absorber desperately needs to be fixed-remembering ravi shocked face when i incidentally told him bout the shock absorber thing)
going to superindo to buy groceries for our 'masak nasi ayam ramai2 project' at 10.00
fetching kak gym beforehandlaa! =)
doing thesis result interpretation throughout the day
erm wut else?
eyp..

rumah kat mlysia buat ape harini?critelaa..knape man n ecad dh tak slalu online. man kate ade nk tanye akak sumthing?apekah?

*on playing opick nasyeeds from his Ar Rahman album. not bad!

ini man. man looks cute in dis pic.winduuuu~

ini husna kecik2.soo cute ;). mak...nk adik kecik lagik,,!!

ini pulak si debab kak huda kecik2!mum alwiz told that she was supersmart mase kecik2, so protective of me (yeke?kdg2 mcm bully2zemon je..hehhehe). mane gmbr sy kecik2???wuuu...

holidayin'

it's holiday time! this time around my holiday extends from 25 dis till 4 jan. but i'm not going anywhere in the nearest time. stuck in my room having to finish off my thesis since our result seminar is coming soon on the 31st disember. me n kepam are still not done yet with our discussion, but its ok. one step at a time. plenty of time awaits insyaAllah.

my right middle and ring finger still ache after almost a month ( i think?) since i got them injured during our 1st basket game. thanks for the repetitive injuries they had to endure consecutively afterwards (in fact the victim is always those two fingers, i wonder y?-cos i just lurrvvee to tepis bolaa), the ring finger one is no longer straight. seriously it bends! HELP ME HELP ME..(mcm mane nk sarung cincin nanti??). hehhe. my back and abdomen hurts too. =(

kak huda is going back to jb this weekend, she'll be having holidays till next wednesday while tma is already home sweet, oh, how i miss home~! azra is also malaysia home sweet for her brother's wedding. luckily i have cek pah by my side, going through the thicks n thins, lurve you heap dearie ;)

meanwhile, azua (my maahad friend) is planning to visit jogja next year. but since my holidays are still not yet fixed, i just can't give the final say to her to have her flite ticket booked. january n february will be full of course with ppbkk practice ( i really hope so) while middle feb will be the ppbkk exam itself. while for march, most probably i'll be in malaysia while waiting for the ppbkk exam result ( determining whether we could proceed in entering clinical or get delayed). and our pkpmi congress is at bali on middle march (wink-wink*), the two proposed dates for the congress are the 13th-15th or the 20-22nd. i hope approval will be on the 20-22 march since my sister's wedding is on the 14th march and i wanna attend both! (",)..

fani my good friend has been messaging me inviting me to her home in cilegon (nearby jakarta), and keep saying that qaulan misses tante toy..hihi. qaulan is fani's baby, i wonder how big qaulan is right now compared to the last time i saw her from the photos fani sent me. she was so adorable, n small! i so wanna go to cilegon, but rite now i suppose that i have to prioritize, my studies are down in the drain, n i'm completely clueless to enter clinical. definitely i have to consider about my studies...i wonder will i be a good physician with only 'nil' knowledge that i have in my brain? definitely not. so buck it up, toy! ( untuk keamanan manusia sejagat, hehe).

i'm signing off now, if i were to continue, my tales to tell are endless! please pray for me..pray that i'll be a good person. i'll write more soon. missing home! till we meet again...

bersungguh sungguhlah wahai hati...

a small note to my dearest miss heart..

1) hindari angan-angan kosong. segala sesuatu telah ditetapkan oleh Tuhan untukmu!
2) sesuatu dari Tuhanmu itu pasti yang terbaik, tiada syak lagi!
3) bersungguh-sungguhlah dalam meraih sesuatu. terutama menuntut ilmu!
4) jagalah ibadahmu, lapangkanlah dadamu.
5) dlm apa2 pun kondisi dirimu berada, pastikan hatimu sentiasa dlm keadaan tenang dan khusyuk!
6) yakinlah dengan janji2 Tuhanmu, kejarlah tingkat syurga tertinggi!
7) persembahkan yg terbaik buat Tuhanmu, cinta Allah dan rasul harus yg paling utama pd setiap ketika!
8) kurangkan berharap pada manusia, manusia tak boleh menjamin apa-apa tanpa izinNya.
9) sumthing happens simply becos Allah wants it to happen..kun fayakuun
10) jalan ini jln yg menjamin! yakinlah~

main tipu

di saat masa-masa terakhir itu begitu valuable-'the i need all the time in the world' utk belajar moments set in, di saat-saat itulah sy berfoye-foye. inilah yg sy namakan main tipu. hasrat di hati nk belaja, (sungguh, banyak lagi yg belum disentuh!) namun jari jemari ni sungguh merenyam utk click sini sane bloghopping from one to another.haishh....tak bermoral kan?? (kids-don eva try dis at home). yg pastinye sy dptlah beberape inspirasi dr blog2 yg sy bace tuh (byk juge gelak tawa terhibur). dari pagi memang emosi sy tak stabil. entah kenape. mcm tak betul je. pagi tadi sy belaja kat atas bumbung, tempat ampaian sidai baju. bentang tikar kt lantai tu then ambik meja kecik dan duduk bersila. sbb sy tak boleh duduk bilik, mata terlelap-lelap. lagipun 2-3 hari ni langit sangat2 lah cantik esp waktu maghrib menjelang (2 hari berturut-turut dah sy balik menjelang maghrib). langit berwarna oren ke-emas emasan (u all jogjarians ade notice tak??). subhaanallah, memang sangat cantik. (kalauu ayah ada mesti dia dah sebut chanteeeekkk...). siap ada org-org berhenti tepi jalan lagi semata mata nk ambil gamba senja nan cantik tu. jadi niat di hati sy pagi tadi adalah utk belajar sambil menikmati pemandangan langit yg cantik tu. konon2 nk mendekatkan diri pd alam. hehe. herm, pastu call mak smbil kat atas bumbung. mak sy kate pelik. housemate sy pun kate patut pelik, 'ingat ko sidai baju..lame beno kt atas tuhh'...hehee.

begitulah, bile exam menjelma, mulelah macam2 simptoms pelik2 muncul. tak makan nasilah, makan tak berkhasiatlah (mengemil), minum bende2 manis overdose lahh, sakit pinggang belakang lahh, nausea lah,panic attacklah, nk nangis lah, dan macam2 lagi. pendek kata, marilah same2 mendoakan sy agar sy tetap bertahannn dan meskipun satu dunia sy goes awry, sy masih tetap mampu memaintainkan kewarasan diri sy. aminn.

belaja2!

jgn nak berfoye2..exam harii khamiss ni..belajaaa naaa!~

Wut A Wonderful World~

eidul adha 1429H

khutbah raye

the girlzz afta solat raye

keluarga asas

bersama domba + behind the scene at qurban

wif kerp!!(ahhahaaa~aku takot ko tak approve je gamba ni..hehhhee)

ktorg tlg rewang jugak tauu!!(kak gym heppy semacamm)

makcik2 bergossip ke rewangg??

us dgn akak2 03 =)

batch 05 gals time jamuan!! (afta perut panas makan black pepper..hehhe)

cheese

end november-early december besday bashh!

the cake

pong me nani @ silla (betul kan name kedai uh??hehhe)

basketbabes 05

qilah buat2 kitorg smelly

senyuman kemenangan =P

toy's 23rd burstday bash + 2003 farewell party~

the cake =). pay attention to the caption.yeeha

me n beloved housemate azra pegang2 helmet

min me nad!

juniors +us + 03

b29 sendowo chicks =)

Hari Sabtu =)

Hari Sabtu. Duduk di depan laptopku. usai membaca beberapa chapter dari maryamah karpov, karya terbaru andrea hirata, senang sekali rasa hatiku. masih menimbang-nimbang haruskah ku ikut skills lab family day yang harus berkumpul jam 7 di kampus atau bersantai-santai di rumah, nanti jam 8 berpraktis basket dengan teman-teman seangkatan, itu pasti seru..

Berminggu-minggu lalu jam segini aku masih termangu-mangu membaca ulasan-ulasan dari buku PAPDI, juga melayan bebelan dari buku schwartz dan bates buat diskusi pagi sabtuku, kemudian sendirian membawa motor menongkah ring road menuju condong catur. senang sekali pagi ini rutin itu tidak dipenuhi. tapi ujian blok tercekat menungguku khamis dan jumaat nanti. moodku masih belum set untuk belajar hal-hal emergency. belajar awal bukanlah kebiasanku. memang ngebut belajar itu hobiku. susah sekali memecahkan habit yang tidak sihat buatku ini. dari jam 2 pagi tadi sudah terjaga, entah kenapa, namun konsentrasi masih belum jadi milikku. ahhh moga2 kondisi akan membaik dengan berjalannya Hari Sabtu ini.

Wedding tag

Tagged by NK n doy2..out of sheer nothingness im doing thiss..hehheh~

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!. 2) DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair…just take a picture. 3) Post that picture with NO editing. 4) Post these instruction with your picture. 5) Tag 10 people to do this.

1.How old are you?
19 + 4 =P

2.Are you single?
Single mingle jingle bell

3. In what age do you think you’ll get married?
Allah knows when~

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?
ahaks

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
The person that is matchmade in heaven for me. I'll leave it to Him

6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional wedding?
Beach =)

7. Your ideal motif?
White is nice. Middle eastern style is cute. For sure it's got to be simple but sweet

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
Turkey =). Anywhere romantic,ahaha!

9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?
As many as possible =)

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
said it b4.simple!

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own??
if ade, my own of course. so uninnovative to just copy n paste la kan

12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
3.ni tiru doyot (kehkehh)

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?
simple place,again.tp hotel pon best je.

14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?
Terserah.waktu yg convenient utk sume org.hehe

15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Outdoors (kate athletic..huh?? ape kaitan tahh?)

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom/bride?
simple2 dah. he's already hold a special place inside my heart,so y bother?hehe

17. Name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding?
Lagu P ramlee n Saloma.kidding..hehe,lagu yg nyanyi sendiriklaa-->rakam pastu pasang kat wedding sambil buat muke tak bersalahh (pure2 tak knal suare sndirik).hahhahaa.tipu je..yakin boleh sungguh--keskes~

18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
MORRRRRRningggg

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
light.yg penting akad kan?

20. What age do you want to get married?
Human plans, God destines

21. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
Someone who can accept me the way i am inside out. despite my weaknesses and flaws. org yg bersedia utk bersame2 memperbaiki diri menuju jalanNya.the 'willingness to improve is important'.synergistic and complementing is the key.best in me by Blue sums it all up

22. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
ape2 jelaa

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
right after..ofkoss with Encik betul everyday pun is a honeymoon
25. Money or household item?
terserahhh.hahah

26. Who will pay for the bills?
same2 laa

27. Are you ready for married life?
50-50

28. Do you think you will still be a virgin until u get married?
okfoss...duhhh

29. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
okfoss!!

30. How many kids do you like?
5 is cute

31. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
kalo boleh new =)

32. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding, or diamond wedding?
silver.(main taram je ni)

33. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
traditional

34. Will you record your honeymoon in a cd or dvd?
mestilaaa..alang2 dah buat majlis..rakam jela sekaliann..

I tag:
1) kak fied
2) saffa (again!)
3) aziah zuber
4) atikah yuyun
5) natasha
6) phaik hsia =)
7) izzah
8) naufa (hehe)
9) rean..ahaha
10) fatin..if ur reading dis darrrlingg

Tag 1

tagged by izzah dearie..sowiee baruu nk buattt,ehehee

(Satu)Do you think you're hot??
tak pernah. biase2 je. suam2 kuku.

(Dua)Upload your favourite picture of you


(Tiga)Why do you like that picture??
sbb bajet cool.pandangan sisi laa konon.hehe

(Empat)When is your last time you ate pizza??
adeh..tak ingat laa..yg pastinye last time kat pizza hut kot.agaga

(Lima)The last song you listened to??
adelah

(Enam)What are you doing right now beside this??
bace blog org lain smbil minun nescafe O sejuk

(Tujuh)What Name would you prefer beside yours??
aaa husna sofia, naufa azhari, nurha iman, umar al faruqi,ade lagii

(Lapan)People i tag??
(on a random note)

1) doyot
2) Nk
3) sAffa
4) kerp da legend =)
5) tasha
6) kurt kudeng and anep azme (slambe letak 2org skali)
7) aziah zuber =)
8) atikah yuyunn


(Sembilan)Who is number 1??
sistaahoood member, tutorial mate, ex-tarannum mate =P ,ex kalam mate, halaqah mate (mmuah2), doy2 si com2, cutie pie, sy suke cubit de n kate de minum susu botol kecik2 n de pandai masak!!


(Sepuluh)Number 3 is having relationship with??
misteri nusantara =P


(Sebelas)Say Something about no 5??
one of best buddies. teman bergayut. ex ktt mate. org kelate. miss her laaa

(Dua Belas)How about number 4??
beloved thesis mate ;). a drum chick, pandai masak (jgn tak cayeee!!), cumeyy, mase ospek 1st yer pakai attribute yg senang tercabut kalo kene tiup anginn waktuu larii (mcm mengkarung tau attribute tuu)..ahahahahaaa~!xleyh lupee aaaa kerpppppp!

(Tiga Belas)Who is number 2??
my cun rawks basketbabe, rainbow republic rulez, mutant mate (ahaahaa). kami boleh same2 masuk oprah book club (haha..betul kan wujud kelab tu?), cik emcee, alwiz a successful event organizor =P

psychosomatic

these past few days i've been having a sorta range of physical impairment signs and symptoms and i blame it on psychosomatic.

panic attack on yesterday mid morning plus stomachache in the evening --> although this might be attributed to my improper eating these last few days yet i still think that my mental played a part.

and this morning, nauseated n loss of appetite, i struggle to finish off my cereal drink.
try, try to think of something happy
i did n i finally gulped the whole drink without realizing.

tak tahu nk tulis ape

erm knape tetbe menulis ni?herm tak tauu..nk melaporkan cek pah demam, kak gym dtg ptg td belaja esp..azra pulak tgh semangat nk berolahraga nak berdiet laa kononnye tuhh (=P ). ingat2 semule dah lame juge ku tak berolahrage..n to think about it i used to be a sportswoman (ahah..perasan..sile muntah)..busyness show me no mercy, n its difficult to start again sumthing that i'd left for a long time..every weeken will come n leave me feeling-oh,dah hari ahad-xspend utk belaja pun-n tak lekat dekat rumah-n ahad petang-ohh tak spend utk tdo dan byk keje tak siap lagi-n eh-nak rase depressed-haha-pastu-dah2 jgn layan-kene be strong-n move forward..

n i'm declaring that i miss home, not that badly though,but suam2 kuku..
another week kickstarting~

hilang?

tiba2 perasaan itu hilang.
cepat sungguh hati ini bolak balik sendiri.
sudah rasa biasa2 sahaja.

tp bersyukur perasaan itu sudah berlalu pergi.
sgt serabut bila Tuhan tidak tunjukkan jalan, sesat seorg diri.
Alhamdulillah Allah masih mengasihi diri ini..

Terima kasih juga pada entry blog gengsambalterung ini..it enlightened a lot!
jazakillah...=) -->

JAGA HATI KITA. Jangan biarkan ia dihinggapi habuk sehingga menjadi daki yang berkekalan. Bersihkan HATI kita dari segala kekotoran. Bagaimana?

" ...manusia Yang mempunyai hati (Tetapi) tidak mahu memahami dengannya (ayat-ayat Allah), dan Yang mempunyai mata (Tetapi) tidak mahu melihat dengannya (bukti keesaan Allah) dan Yang mempunyai telinga (Tetapi) tidak mahu mendengar dengannya (ajaran dan nasihat)..." [7:179]

Jaga mata. Jaga telinga. Jaga segala perbuatan kita. Kerana ia mempengaruhi HATI kita. InsyaAllah bila HATI sudah bersih, kita akan jadi lebih SENSITIF. Sensitif terhadap segala kekotoran yang kecil mahupon yang besar.

...dan juga entry dari Ilham al Adwa' (<--click link) yg sangat menyentuh hati..

*jazakillahu khairan katsiraan sekali lagi..doakan doa2 sy ada jawapannya..;)

gerakkan!

gerakkan hati, gerakkan minda , maka akan bergeraklah anggota badan mu
kenalilah potensi jiwa dan hatimu, ia boleh dibaja!

(doakan saya)

soul searching...

apa khabarkah kondisi iman ku pada hari ini?
mengapakah aku solat, membaca ayat2 suci Al-Qur'anMu,
tapi masih saja gemar berkata-kata yang tidak sepatutnya?
berlebihan dalam berbicara,
dan beranggapan nista tentang hamba-hambaMu?

manakah letaknya kondisi jiwaku?
tidakkah ianya terkesan oleh ibadah2ku,
jika tidak, di manakah silapnya yg telah berlaku?
hinakah jiwaku?

pondering~

i'm just back from my pharmacology lab. and pondering bout my thesis workloads hence deciding to laze around for a while. browsing people's blog and blogging. people said my baju to class today was 'silau'ing. sampai hati depa. haha. apparently pharmaco lab is one of the lab i hate most in medical school since usually we have to wait very long and naturally i'm not so keen in helping out in handling the poor animals to be experimented-be it white rats, rabbits, hamsters etc. but today was bearable than usual since it only took us about half an hour to do the experiment (minus playing around) and the sample animal was a very very cute guinea pig (now i finally know how a real guinea pig looks like!). plus me n doyot n haneef rehearsed or tasmi' some of our hafazan, so it did quite kill the time. yet another report awaiting to be done. i still havent done my khidmat bakti siswa proposal-haish-the deadline's this friday lah

herm, tasha texted me just now asking for what i'd like for my upcoming birthday present, suddenly reminding me that my birthday is approaching. had it really been a year?-i can't believe it- u just start to grow faster when you're older, don't you? i think this year's birthday will be different from the previous as it will be less significant and more forgettable. you do be ignorant and more serious when you're older, hehe.

anyway, if there is, my wishlists for birthday this year are (ngengade kan-ignore this part)
1) collins english thesaurus (super small n cute pocket size)
2) muhammad- a book by karen armstrong
3) a cute jacket from sixty that me n doyot usha last time but takde our sizes (haha)
4) qur'an tajwid
5) more and more books

ok, now semangat toy-do things with compassion and semangat, banyak kerja menanti nih, fokus ye, mulakan dengan bismillah dan niat yg baek kerana Allah-supaya bernilai ibadah. k,nk stat buat keje. bismillah.

Jogja kota harapan

kesan-kesan bekas puting beliung masih terlihat sewaktu aku melewati jalan biasa pulang ke kontrakan setelah penat lelah mengasistensi bedah minor yang entah kenapa lemau rasanya hari ini. bapak2 penjaga parkir yg ketika puting beliung kelmarin amat aku risaukan keselamatannya bertugas seperti biasa seolah-olah tidak ada apa2 yg sudah berlaku. penjual2 buah, doktor2 berjas putih berkeliaran dan kedai2 makan beraktivitas seperti kisah puting beliung itu hanyalah sejarah dahulu kala. sedangkan masih ada pokok2 tumbang yang masih belum dirapikan dan billboards2 kedai masih terdampar di jalanan. cepatnya jogja bangkit! seraya menyambung lamunan meneruskan langkah2 lemah, kelihatan pula seorang adik kecil tersenyum riang dipimpin si ibu yang tak kalah senang. tapi ada sesuatu yg tak kena pada si adik. kepalanya separuh botak meski berambut panjang! mungkinkah si adik pesakit leukimia?? tapi si adik sepertinya tetap bersemangat. ah, kenapa aku juga yang tetap tak bersemangat? terdengar bunyi kayuhan basikal disertai suit-suit dr belakang. siapalah yang cuba mengurat aku di kala moodku hilang ditelan senja kelam ni? aisyah adik 2007 rupenye. langsung aku menyeringai sambil menggelitik ketiaknya. hihi. ketawa kecil sebentar. herm, kembali ke mood sebelumnya. terlihat mbak2 yang wajahnya sekilas mirip mbak2 di kilang tempatku bekerja slps spm dahulu. rindu juga rupanya aku pada mereka. mb lisma mb apa lagi sorang itu ya, boleh pula aku lupa namanya sedangkan rapat bukan main nak rak. herm akhirnya ku tiba juga ke kontrakan B29 rumahku syurgaku. namun aku tetap juga tak bersemangat.

Cinta setulus jiwa

Cinta setulus jiwa
By Opick

Dalam luka
Dalam duka
Engkau ada dan setia
Temani jiwa…

Surya yang memerah
Senja di langit dunia
Sunyi hatiku
Terbayang wajah mereka

Yang memelukku
Menjagaku
Memberiku kasih dan sayang
Mencintaiku
Merawatku tanpa lelah
Setulus jiwamu…

Jauh sudah langkah hari
Yang memanggil rindu
Di dalam hatiku padamu
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I'm not a good daughter. i've never been a good one. ever since i was little, i was always the most hardened up and difficult child. but mak n ayah still love n accept me the way i am...unconditionally. for all the times when i was lost for words, lost for expressions, and for one or more ways if i've ever blamed u both for any mishaps, i'm deeply regretful. the greatest gift i could atone for all the wrongdoings i've done and ever present to u both is by being a better person, offering the best condition of my imaan in the eyes of Allah so the two of u would be placed among the righteous in this life and the next hereafter..

..my only wish..the only wish... from u both...is to pray for this hardened steel heart of mine to be melted away, mak n ayah..

:..uhibbukum mak n ayah..:

'thank you for everything'

the basic dissection week

first of all, when i was younger i'd never thought that i'd pursue medicine seriously, and least of all be inclined towards surgery-i'd vowed since my 1st year that surgery would be the last thing on earth i'd wanted to specialize in.

but here i am-taking basic dissection week for my elective block-and it turns out to be quite cewl and unbelievably i turned out to be quite a compulsive dissector!

my basic dissection week started with some lectures by mas jun, dr cahaya n the alwiz ceria dr santoso.mas jun has always been one of our most favourite anatomy assistant-and now shall i say-anatomist?-still he hasn't been a letdown-wowing us with his teaching ability, patience and the intelligence of answering any questions we stormed at him. his talent n passions are indeed awesome!

i had always admired dr santoso-he's really brilliant, passionate and cheerful-haha~i was told that he'd completed his medical degree with a 4 flat!wahhh~ i wish i have his brain!- will never forget the way he'll look at us in awe when we can't recall the anatomy parts he ask-hehe!

talk about being overconfident-here was a few bloops n blunders i made during tutorial which was unrevealed and pointed out by dr cahayani during her lecture!!!-malunye saye sbb terlebih jagung(corn-fident)!!! (muke merah malu tapi buat2 xtau pandang depan je..)-->

*fossa cubiti yang telah ditambah perasa sesuka hati menjadi fossa mediana cubiti
*scaphoid dekat radius snuffbox laa bukan ulnar (kok ini ga tauu??-bisik dr cahayani dlm hati-heh he hee)
*flexor pollicis longus disalah sebut dgn nyum nyum-nya menjadi flexor palmaris longus (beda banget lokasi dua-dua muscle nihh)

a few things i just knew regarding the cadaver in anatomy lab:-
*they come from the unclaimed body from the hospital-also unclaimed in some sort of jabatan kebajikan masyarakat (lebeyh kuang)-and since the jabatan cannot afford to cover its burial cost-it'll be given to the anatomy lab of medicine faculty-n it will later be treated as a dead body with respect-dimandikan,dikapankan dan disolatkan dan didoakan supaya contributionnya ini akan menjadi amal baik buatnya di akhirat kelak..

*after undergoing the above rituals-the body will be infused with highly concentrated formalin through his artery femoralis in the right thigh for 24 hours to rid off all of the blood contained in his blood vessels and to preserve the integrity of his internal organs!

*then the cadaver will be immersed in a huge formaline pool usually containing around 20 cadavers at a time-to preserve his external body parts.

*there is a huge underground hole in the back of anatomy lab to bury off the cadavers that is no longer of/in use.

*the ones that we're using for dissection is usually aged 5-10 years (youngest is 3 months old), since the formalin strength and hence toxicity is lesser for us.

the aim of dissection is to expose the body parts as extensive as possible for the purpose of learning and identifying each structure in the body (ex: exposing the muscles plus preserving the appendages that arise alongside it like the artery, vein and nerve). and this morning dissection class- the 9 of us- 4 per group- geared up in lab coats, masks and the dissection equipments: me n shenyew dissected the cadaver's trunk while budi n shariff dissected its upper limb (tangan). later we shifted tasks since budi n shariff were tak larat to incise the thick fatty layer of the cadaver's limb (sum of the fatty layer even melted!). since i told earlier that me and shenyew were compulsive dissectors we enjoyably took over, huhu! 3 hours hardly passed by! and when it was over-i was still not done in exposing all of its arm muscles, plus a bonus for me for accidentally cut a nerve and an artery (when we're actually supposed to preserve them-ahaks!). it was overall fun n seriously a whole new learning experience-i felt really like a butcher. n tomoroe we'll proceed in dissecting the lower limb (kaki) pulak. sum assignments also have to be submitted in tomoroe and me still havent done it yet..hurmm.

i was so tired for the day and was back at home 10 minutes before maghrib after the skills lab meeting with the new assistants. it was raining extremely heavy - n i cudnt stand anymore to wait-so i just redah the rain-it was so lebat i hardly cud see. and i arrived home feeling absolutely famished and a bit off the mood-yet i knew better to rid it off quickly. herm-many works to be done-the tasks seem endless. a few thoughts on my mind:-

my wishlists:-
- sumbody to do the pkp khidmat bakti masyarakat proposal for me
- sumone to replace and pay for my motor's new shock absorber-its leaking, n for god's sake,the journey feels so bumpyish!
-ubat jerawat!

aspired to be better

thanks for the words
i thank Allah for giving me answers through you
although i've waited for u quite long enough
long enough for me to learn the art of appreciating
now i'm clearer of my path ahead
and i could see the specks of hope igniting through
the end of the tunnel

and i thank Allah again
for sending me answers slowly but surely,
slowly enough for me to discover the strength of patience
convincing me that the wait is worth it
and now i know what i'm supposed to do
and i believe that it has just only begun
the faith and spirit will be soared higher,
insyaAllah
may He be guiding through..

thank you Allah
kebersamaan itu adalah kekuatan
thanks ukhtiku ;)
(dedicate to dearest doyot too, may we be strong always..amin)

little by little we'll climb the stairs and pick up the pieces we've left, if Allah wills so..

dalam kehendak-Nya

"mana milik kita?
tidak ada milik kita"
(Mana milik kita-Nadamurni)

redha dengan ketentuan Allah
pasti ianya yg terbaik,
bukankah Dia yg Maha Mengetahui?

the pages are written,
the inks are dried,
up there in the Lauhul Mahfuz,
before the time i cud even think of

what more can i say?
than i shall prostrate to You
if its for the best
then rather i shall thank You

“And whoever is dutiful to Allah, He makes a way out for him (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from places he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, He
will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.” [ At-Talaaq: 2-3]

tinggal yakin, je kan?

di saat ruh itu sepi

di saat ruh itu rasa sunyi..
di ketika pengabdian sebenar tulus pada Tuhan diganti spiritual engineerings,
rekayasa manusia untuk berpura-pura dirinya dekat pada Pencipta..
di waktu hari2 diisi futile, meaningless conversations,..routine dan mundane acts..
di kala blank spaces mengisi rongga2 jiwa di antara sela waktu;

.:Tuhan kurniakan teman untuk mengingatkan..

‘Teman yang paling baik adalah apabila kamu melihat wajahnya, kamu teringat akan Allah, mendengar kata-katanya menambahkan ilmu agama, melihat gerak-gerinya teringat mati..’

dan benar, kata2 yang baik dari teman yang mengingatkan itu tidak ternilai harganya berbanding dunia dan seisinya:-

(taken from naufa's email content..)

apa guna bacaan quran bersama tafsir andai tidak terasa dgn hati..
[Dan apabila dibacakan al-Quran, maka dengarkanlah baik-baik dan perhatikanlah dengan tenang agar kamu mendapat rahmat. (Surah al-A'raaf, ayat 204)]

apa guna duduk bangun dlm solat andai dosa masih dihampiri..
[innastholatatanha 'anil fahsya'i wal mungkar - “Sesungguhnya solat dapat mencegah seseorang dari perbuatan keji dan mungkar.”(Surah Al-Ankabuut: 45) ]

apa guna anggota amanah ALLAH andai sentiasa dlm leka..

apa guna cinta andai kpd pencipta hanya bersahaja..

apa guna ukhuwah andai bukan untuk memperingatkan..

apa guna maghfirahNya andai taubat ditinggalkan..


sungguh benar kita kerap menghabiskan emosi dengan manusia yang akhirnya menyakitkan..
sungguh benar pula kita sentiasa menjadikan alasan 'manusia itu pelupa' untuk tidak mengingatiNya..

...jazakillah adik naufa ;)
(I'll be counting the days for u to come)

"Kelazatan di dunia ini tinggal tersisa 3 perkara; qiyamullail, bertemu dengan saudara seiman dan shalat jemaah" - Ibnul Munkadir

"Aku sempat bertemu dengan beberapa kaum dan kelompok. Mereka ini tidak pernah bersuka cita atas melimpahnya dunia. Pun, tidak pernah berduka cita atas hilangnya dunia. Di mata mereka, kekayaan dunia itu ibarat tanah."- Hassan Al- Bashri

the remedy for the insomniacs

my early sleeping routine is disturbed tonite. i'm declaring myself an insomniac! and the remedy- is going on a food binge-wif cek pah's wonderful brownies kukus (ehehe..tikus curi food kat dapor). tq cek pah for cooking lovely dishes today..love it..(siap tambah 3 x..kuang2)..luv u too dearie..owez..hehhe (overrr)..

the remedy for the heart
quoting a saying from one of my friend as a constant reminder for us as a servant to God, our lives need to be filled continously with tarbiyyah n mutaba'ah amal. it's not just about us, having to take care and pay heed over our ibadah, but the ibaadah in return will act as a shield in putting our lives under His care, completely. this is very vital, in order so that we won't take our ibaadah for granted cos what we've performed will be questioned in the hereafter later. Therefore, let's make effort to improve the quality of our ibadaah especially our SOLAT, bit by bit, ceaselessly without fail..

A humble reminder from me yet sincerely (insyaAllah)
Sampaikan dariku walau satu ayaat..

lalai

lalai...
adalah sifat semulajadi seorg hamba..kdg2 org2 yg baik pun boleh lalai..

kekuatan..
kdg2 utk tidak lalai manusia memerlukan kekuatan..dan kekuatan itu boleh dtg dgn pelbagai cara...bi'ah yg baik..solat malam..dan org2 sekeliling yg memberi inspirasi dan mentransmisi kekuatan..

ingatkan..
oleh itu sentiasalah saling mengingatkan, kerana lalai itu mmg sifat fitrah hamba dan utk sentiasa beringat itu kita kena melawan arus hawa nafsu diri kita yg cenderung pada kelalaian ni..berterima kasihlah kepada Allah yg selalu mengejutkan kita dr kelalaian..sbb Allah masih syg kat kita..

"Hai orang yang berselimut, bangunlah lalu berilah peringatan" (Al-Muddatsir 1-2)

Ingatkanlah diriku wahai temanku jika kau kasihkan diriku kerana Allah...

leaving home

today is another day yet today is of a different one cos today i'll be leaving home..

the short embrace n cheek kisses from my bro wud be the last one, when he'll be back from school, my voice will no longer echo the house n my physique will no more to be found lingering around

a deep sorrow is encarved inside this chest of mine but mum says that i've taken this journey of medicine and embarked on it..n therefore i must complete it..

mum says that life is always fair-what u give, u'll get back- a lot more even! n wut Allah gives to others but not u is always replaced by something else that u may have but others don't possess.to conclude-everyone is strong and lucky-just that people have different strengths n lucks-to show that his Love and Majesty is so abundant- enough and it encompasses every one =)

and i suppose the whole conversation with my mum meant to mean:,

when the roads are tough
and the deep hollow of self doubt, self denial n self hating conjures
it takes a courage that should be mustered to conquer them

and my home, my sanctuary
has prepared me for whatever it takes
n will always welcome me in whatever condition i'll be in. always.

can't tell how much my love for my family is. i hope i've had done more for them~


p/s:al-fatihah n my greatest condolence to my dearest good buddy, tasha for her granddad demise. innalillahiwa inna ilaihi raji'un..smoga roh arwah atuk tasha ditempatkan dlm golongan org2 yg soleh.. aminn

i'm sure husna will be crying hard-wanting to follow me-kesian de.siap kumpul duet raye nk beli duet tiket flite ikut balik indo. so naive n innocent ;) -i'll miss her.. greatly!~
bye bye-home sweet home..

tak baik

kdg2 sy ade moment yg sy rase yg sy ni tak baik banding org lain, sgt banyak flaws, jahat, tah ape-ape, undeserving and incompetent.

this is one of those moments.

sy wish sy sebaik org lain..

the wonders of the net!

haha.poyo kan tajuk post kali ni? just for the sake of entertaining my good mood since the internet has been quite cooperative n helpful in delivering me all the materials needed for me to complete my literature review...im almost half-way done.yeee~! whoever invented internet was surely a pure genius. (bill gates was it??) geezzzz..alhamdulillah. beyond these high-tech-fully helpful gadgets, there is an unseen might that made it all, all these to happen in a flicker of a finger snaps. that's Him, the Almighty. alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.. =)

thanx also to my two brothers who have been extra sweet in letting me to conquer the computer all to my self for the whole week!, without much complain or ado! i noe they've been supressing their online gaming crave just for the sake of allowing me to finish my work. how sweet~u guys are a gem! hehe~ =D

bersabarlah..selagi bisa

arghh geramnyee...penat buat sehari semalam..hilang plakk additional literature review cos komp hanggg-switch on-then dah tarakkk

if i just follow my heart desire, id be screaming n burst in anger since, me, my nature, my fitrah is not patient. i'd have to fight hard to have patience. but i noe, patience is a virtue, and Islam teaches it followers to have high patience. like the great prophet rasulullah saw who was tested neverendingly yet still remaining steadfast in upholding patience as his virtue..

be patient...cos patience is a piece of peace that cud lit the gloomy heart
be patient...cos if u don't embrace patience now, Allah will test u until one time,the patience is forced to be instilled within u..

practice patience..
Allah loves those who are patients
it's a virtue of those who are wise..

n He wants his servants to engulf the beauty of patience
as patience is the fruit of imaan
which only the muttaqien can taste the sweetness of it

in life, choose to be patient..
bersabarlah..selagi bisa!

husna and her new cat

now husna has a new friend to play with. introducing....... bom-briau!!


~si comels..hehhe mcm kenal x bakul ni?~

~husna angkut gune bakul nk pg pasar~

~tgh hibernate~

~tgh main2.tgk hepynye husnaa...~

haha:..husna calls her bom-briau ...my mum pulak kate her name is nurul kelabu while me calls her syasya (anak tima in da future-hahaa). let's see... how long the cat will stay in our home..hehe

headache

i woke up this morning with my head throbbing. had a weird dream last nite, i dreamt of myself swimming. and then, there was dilla bro, my ktt-gud fren as well in it. weird. and this uneasy feeling been hovering me ever since.

turning to Allah for comfort..

the urge to write 'sum' thing

thank god it's holidays~!
yep, im still holidaying n njoyin' every minute of it. my days are filled wif the works of a house wife (yelahh tuu)-managing the households,the clothes,mandikan husna,suap husna makan,yet seem to be enjoying them. now i understand why Allah sets women to be at home while men have to strive outside to earn a living and fight for the ummah. we, women, have to fight too but, locationwise its different. it's really nice just being at home, until i have the tendency to just hibernate at home, not contacting anyone not even close friends. hehe. but u guys are still inside my heart, hehhe.

i'm also currently focusing to finish off the paperworks of my thesis. yeah, i know i've been brooding over this and has been mentioning bout my thesis like for the zillionth times yet still not over it yet.
i'll make sure i'll finish, soon, insyaAllah. its also really nice to go into depth on anxiety, the research title im working on, cos it's like studying a part of myself, too.

raya also had been super great. although i'd missed the maahad 02 batch raya convoy which managed to gather almost 40 people (that was above awesome), the frustration was compensated by organizing our ugm 05 batch kl-raya convoy. only managed to gather those yg available around kl. next time kte wat kt negeri lain pulak. hehhe. it was soo fun. around 15 peeps joined. really had a great time. n i bet the memory will last a lifetime.. (haha jiwang laks!)

~us at rumah has~

~us at rumah opah iman~

wut else that i was goin' to mention-herm oredi forgotten. njoy remaining hols everyone!~ =)
me going to be bak in jogja by 22nd october insyaAllah, accompanied with bestest buddy beloved sista Hudaaa yaaay~!

cant hardly wait

i just love these lyrics, so inspirational
cant hardly wait to watch laskar pelangi the movie..

Laskar Pelangi

by Nidji

mimpi adalah kunci
untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
berlarilah tanpa lelah
sampai engkau meraihnya

laskar pelangi
tak kan terikat waktu
bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
warnai bintang di jiwa

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia
selamanya…

cinta kepada hidup
memberikan senyuman abadi
walau hidup kadang tak adil
tapi cinta lengkapi kita

laskar pelangi
tak kan terikat waktu
jangan berhenti mewarnai
jutaan mimpi di bumi

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia
selamanya
selamanya

a few ayaats to reflect upon..

Balasan Allah s.wt kepada orang yang ingkar (Al-Muddatsir 11-28)
[ 11 ]
Jangan engkau bimbang wahai Muhammad) biarkanlah Aku sahaja membalas orang (yang menentangmu) yang Aku ciptakan dia (dalam keadaan) seorang diri (tidak berharta dan anak pinak),
[12]
Dan Aku jadikan baginya harta kekayaan yang banyak,
[13]
Serta anak pinak (yang ramai), yang sentiasa ada di sisinya.
[14]
Dan Aku mudahkan baginya (mendapat kekayaan dan kekuasaan) dengan semudah-mudahnya.
[15]
Kemudian ia sangat ingin, supaya Aku menambahinya lagi;
[16]
Tidak sekali-kali (akan ditambahi) ! Kerana sesungguhnya dia menentang dengan degilnya akan ayat-ayat Kami (Al-Quran, yang disampaikan oleh Rasul Kami).
[17]
Aku akan menyeksanya (dengan azab) yang memuncak beratnya.
[18]
Kerana sesungguhnya ia telah memikirkan dan mereka-reka berbagai tuduhan terhadap Al-Quran) -
[19]
Maka binasalah dia hendaknya! Bagaimanakah dia berani mereka-reka (yang demikian)?
[20]
Sekali lagi: binasalah dia hendaknya! Bagaimana ia berani mereka-reka (tuduhan-tuduhan itu)?
[21]
Kemudian ia merenung dan memikirkan (berkali-kali: jalan-jalan mencaci Al-Quran, tetapi ia gagal);
[22]
Setelah itu ia memasamkan mukanya serta ia bertambah masam berkerut;
[23]
Kemudian ia berpaling (dari kebenaran) dan berlaku sombong angkuh,
[24]
Serta ia berkata: " (Al-Quran) ini tidak lain hanyalah sihir yang dituntut serta dipelajari (dari ahli-ahlinya);
[25]
"Ini tidak lain hanyalah kata-kata (rekaan) manusia!"
[26]
(Disebabkan kekufurannya itu) Aku akan masukkan dia ke dalam neraka Saqar.
[27]
Dan apa jalannya engkau dapat mengetahui kedahsyatan neraka Saqar itu?
[28]
Ia membakar mangsanya dengan tidak meninggalkan sisa, dan tidak membiarkannya (binasa terus)

Nau'dzubillahiminzaalik...

bedak sejuk

bedak sejuk penyebab ke pengubat jerawat?
kalo cmtu knape pakai bedak sejuk ni, bile bangun pagi tengok makin banyak jerawat kat muke.
salah bedak sejukkah?

pimples2 d wajahku nampaknya semakin berlumba2 utk mendapatkan ruang dan cahaya matahari..

larger garbage bags

our home garbage piles seem to be expanding very quickly since this month of Ramadhan.
Maybe we'll need larger garbage bags sooner..

changes are not made overnight

Now i understand that changes cannot be made overnight
It needs a process, a lot of factors will be involved then, and maybe it'll take a very long,long time..

it's just Soal Hati, isn't it?

from nothing to something..

i may not know a lot
but i'm learning
and i'm enjoying it..

although making mistakes and asking a lot of silly questions will be made along the way
i'll make do with it
knowing dat this item is needed
in the checklist
of the process to become from nothing to something..and progressing

"Celakalah orang2 yang hari ini nya tidak lebih baik dari semalam"
-Dr B.j aka Bambang Djarwoto..-

this upcoming week

1) seleksi penerimaan asisten baru
2) assistency
3) thesis
4) guides to good prescribin
5) flight tickets returning to jogja!

alhamdulillah to Allah's mercy..
though past week had been tough (esp histo exam) Allah determines me to be able to made it thru still safe and sound, not dead yet n still breathing as humanely as possible..

praise be only to Allah, the creator
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah n alhamdulillah..

May i be able to liven up these remnants of Ramadhan..

human and its limitations

kadang2 kita berniat buat baik tapi orang lain salah ertikan niat kita..
kadang2 kita buat baik tapi orang lain tak nak bagi cooperation
kadang2 kita buat baik, bukan saja org lain tak nak bagi cooperation malahan tak even bother to understand..

mungkin mmg sifat semulajadi manusia
kita hanya fikirkan diri kita
kite jelahh yg paling malang dlm dunia
jarang sekali cuba 'put urself in other people's shoes'
hobi hanya nk 'menjudge org lain'
ataupun merasa diri sendiri saje yg betul

apalah yg ade pada diri seorg manusia
diciptakan cume dari tanah je pun
itupun dah nak rase semue yg dia ada tu dia yang punya
tak sedar ke yang tu semua milik Tuhan
tak layak pun nak berkeluh kesah
tak layak pun nak complain itu ini
apa yg Tuhan bagi kat kite tu pun utk kita sumbangkan pada agamaNya juga
cube spare a thot for other people jugak
jgn asyik nk fikir pasal diri sendiri
banyak lagi org lain yg lebih teruk dari keadaan kita
sudah2 la...dari jadi selfish

sudah2 la juga
dr terus-terusan mengharap kepada manusia
kekecewaan dan sedih hati tak bertepi nanti
mmg Tuhan dah kate manusia tak sempurna
jadi kenapelah lagi kita still harap pada manusia..
sudah2 la

Tuhan tu Maha Ada
Tuhan tu Maha Sempurna
Tuhan tu Maha Tahu
Tuhan tu adalah sebaik2 Pembela
Dan pertolongan Tuhan tu ada bersama-sama org-org yang menolong agamaNya..

agama ini milik kita
apa gunanya hati kalau tak faham?

-Diri yang lemah lagi tak berdaya..
La haula wala quwwata illa billahil aliyyul 'azhim..

Allah tahu apa yg kita tak tahu, n Allah adalah sebaik2 Hakim..

how to balance a system?

when u have so much work to be done and so many thoughts on ur head, wut u shud do is to get sorted!

1) Relax, take a deep breath
2) Remove all the distractions from ur brain, they're just fooling u around
3) Think of God, and all of his mercy upon U, He the Determiner of all things, things happen the way HE plans them to BE!
4) Believe in wut ur heart says, be confident of it
5) Don't fret! just be calm
6) Think - one thing at a time, don't get paranoid

Relax, relax and relax, enjoy enjoy n enjoy..stay focus dearie me (",)

when-i-get-busy-and-just forget,

O Allah,

My Lord,

don't let the wordly affairs

stray me

from my noble time

of worshipping

and humbling

myself to U,

cause U are

the Real cause

of

my living

don't let me

get carried away

with the thots

of the dunya

until

it stains

my heart

with its dirt

and take away

my peace

of

the Remembrance

of U..

A slave- Her grave sins of forgetting U with too little thots on U..

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan..

choose me amongst the person U guide to strive upon the Road Of Takwa..

(God, help me to be a better person..)

the emotions i'm at

Not A Box

There were once some people who all saw their lives like empty boxes

They looked around the world collecting up the things they liked

They filled their lives in boxes with the goodies that they gathered

And they all felt in control, content and they all felt all right

They climbed inside their boxes, they settled with their trinkets

They neither looked nor learnt much more and closed their lids up tight

Once they fastened up their boxes they smiled there inside

And they all thought in their darkness that the world was clear and bright

But the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

It's the piece of the peace of Islam

Along came a wandering wise man whispering such words of truth,

Who stumbled on these boxes so separate side by side

He knocked upon the first one saying, "Please come out and feel the day"

An answer came from deep within, "You're not of us please go away"

He approached the second box and tapped thrice on the lid, saying,

"Peace to you inside, shall I show you a new way?”

Someone peaked out from a crack and said,

"You may just have a point, but it's so comfy in my box, in my box here I will stay."

But the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

It's the piece of the peace of Islam

He stood before the final box; a hiding face peaked out to him,

And much to his surprise he said, "I recognize those eyes"

"I see you and you see me, why not come out and be free?

Faith and flowers wilt and die if they are hidden from the sky."

Coz the world is not a box, There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

Now centuries lies between all the prophets, you and I,
Civilization are born and die each and every day,
We see good and bad and happy sad,
And made mistake we wished we hadn't made,
In our attempt to try and live up to their way,
But if we hide ourselves away,
Afraid to grow and learn, we might wake up in the flame of ignorant and sad burn,
And we will never be much more than casualties of war,
In a struggle we can't win if we have no faith to begin,
We got to tip the lid and let the sun light again,
Coz the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;
It's the piece of the peace of Islam

Afraid to Read

How many words she’s read before,

she’s consumed two thousand books or more.

Musty pulp and glue soundproof her tiny room.

She cannot understand why this book in her hand fascinates her now so much that she’s almost shy to touch.

“Don’t think about the words it’s just a book - paper and ink”

She reaffirms, remind herself, “a book can’t dictate what to think.”

It invites, intrigues her more than others on her shelf

“Is it just another book?” - she sits questioning herself.

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read,

the wisdom that’s revealed may burrow in her mind

She’ll be obliged to admit,

She’ll be obliged to submit

But will she be strong enough to live the truth she finds?

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read.

-Dawud Wharnsby Ali..

dont. be. afraid. stay. strong. face.your. fears

-me-

Dont worry, dont be afraid, Allah is with us..

-anonymous-

peluang untuk memperoleh kemuliaan..

tak banyak yg dah berlaku dlm hidup sy beberape hari ni. cume mlm td sebahagian drp kami sisterhood celebrate birthday kepam di 'kedai kopi'. design kedai ni agak lawa tp sygnya servisnya sgt2 lambat dan adekah patut tempat yg ber aircond ni dibenarkan utk merokok! (sy tak boleh terime sungguh..busuk tudungku jadinye..). tapi ape2 pun heppy dpt celebrate besday kepam dgn sisters yg lain =). n to kepam heppy belated 23, smoge smakin heppy dan diberkati..=D (kepam turns 23 last sunday). oh, n kepam sudahkah anda habis menganalisa thesis kte?hehe. me lg ckit..plannye adalah utk kite memasukkan data dlm spss stelah tentamen anat jumaat ni..

peluang memperoleh kemuliaan

last sunday we (me, azra, doyot, iman n ain) went to taruna (a pesantren) for our weekly pengajian n tafseer surah al-ahzab was discussed. an emphasize more or less was given regarding kemuliaan yg diberikan kpd kaum wanita. Ustazah aka ibu umar mentioned about satu hadits tentang kedatangan seorang wafid (utusan) dr kaum wanita bertemu Rasulullah sallallahualaihiwassalam untuk meminta persamaan hak antara lelaki dan wanita. wanita itu menyampaikan keluhan para wanita bahawa kaum lelaki diizinkan keluar berperang dan berpeluang utk mendapatkan syahid sedangkan kaum wanita duduk di rumah menguruskan keperluan suami dan anak-anak, di manakah peluang kami untuk mendapatkan syahid? kemudian Rasulullah dengan penuh hikmahnya menjawab, kembalilah kamu kepada kaum wanita dan sampaikan kpd mereka bhw sekiranya mereka mentaati suami dan menjaga hak2 nya, mereka akan mendapat ganjaran yang sama namun sedikit sekali antara para wanita yang mengamalkannya..

Satu lagi hadits turut membincangkan tentang kemuliaan yang diberikan kpd kaum wanita iaitu sekiranya seorang wanita itu solat 5 waktu, puasa sebulan di bulan Ramadhan, menjaga kehormatannya dan taat pada suami wanita itu boleh masuk ke dlm syurga dari mana2 pintu yg diinginkannya.

Namun ada juga hadis yg berlawanan bahawa Rasulullah sallallahualaihiwassalam bersabda Aku ditunjukkan neraka dan banyak penghuninya adalah wanita kerana mereka mengingkari kebaikan suaminya.Mungkin juga banyak wanita yang berpotensi menjadi penghuni neraka krn kurang memerhatikan soal aurat dan akhlak. Na'uzubillahi min zalik.

Jadi kesimpulan yg boleh sy ambil di sini ialah Allah itu Maha Adil. Dia telah memberi persamaan hak kepada kedua-dua wanita dan lelaki tapi dalam bidang yang berbeza. Benar, Ar Rijal Qawwamun 'ala Nisaa' tetapi di sebalik kehebatan seorang lelaki itu ada seorang wanita yang menyokongnya.

Wanita itu berpeluang untuk mendapatkan kemuliaan di sisi Allah dengan mentaati suami namun sedikit sekali yang memanfaatkan peluang ini. Malahah, kalau dilihat pada zaman ini lebih banyak wanita yang prefer untuk mengutamakan karier drp keluarga. Rugilah kita kalau mensia2kan peluang kemuliaan yang Allah beri ini. Sesungguhnya janji Allah adalah benar.

Seorang ibu itu jugalah madrasah pertama anak-anak. Jadi, wanita harus mempunyai kesedaran untuk melengkapkan diri dengan ilmu-ilmu ilahi dan duniawi (ex: betulkan bacaan Qur'an, hafal qur'an dsb) kerana merekalah nanti yg akan 1st hand mendidik anak2 untuk melahirkan anak2 kecil itu sbgai generasi jundi2 islam nanti. kalau tak, jadilah mereka seperti ketam, mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus tapi dia sendiri berjalan bengkok.sangat besar n amanah tanggungjwb seorg wanita ini rupanya. tapi besar pulalah ganjaran yang Allah janjikan padanya jika berjaya melaksanakannya dengan baik.

Semulia2 pengabdian adalah pengabdian kepada suami- kata2 daripada Ibu Umar.
(after the devotion to Allah and His Messenger to add)

When u talk about women rights, we shud also talk about women responsibilities. How can u request on ur rights when u dont perform ur responsibility wholely?
-Dr Hjh Harlina Haji Siraj

Ballighuni walau ayaat..

inter 05 outbound day..

sumtimes pics speak more than words and here are they.. (credits to sheng yew=) )

us

girls only

the girls and the facis