the emotions i'm at

Not A Box

There were once some people who all saw their lives like empty boxes

They looked around the world collecting up the things they liked

They filled their lives in boxes with the goodies that they gathered

And they all felt in control, content and they all felt all right

They climbed inside their boxes, they settled with their trinkets

They neither looked nor learnt much more and closed their lids up tight

Once they fastened up their boxes they smiled there inside

And they all thought in their darkness that the world was clear and bright

But the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

It's the piece of the peace of Islam

Along came a wandering wise man whispering such words of truth,

Who stumbled on these boxes so separate side by side

He knocked upon the first one saying, "Please come out and feel the day"

An answer came from deep within, "You're not of us please go away"

He approached the second box and tapped thrice on the lid, saying,

"Peace to you inside, shall I show you a new way?”

Someone peaked out from a crack and said,

"You may just have a point, but it's so comfy in my box, in my box here I will stay."

But the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

It's the piece of the peace of Islam

He stood before the final box; a hiding face peaked out to him,

And much to his surprise he said, "I recognize those eyes"

"I see you and you see me, why not come out and be free?

Faith and flowers wilt and die if they are hidden from the sky."

Coz the world is not a box, There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;

Now centuries lies between all the prophets, you and I,
Civilization are born and die each and every day,
We see good and bad and happy sad,
And made mistake we wished we hadn't made,
In our attempt to try and live up to their way,
But if we hide ourselves away,
Afraid to grow and learn, we might wake up in the flame of ignorant and sad burn,
And we will never be much more than casualties of war,
In a struggle we can't win if we have no faith to begin,
We got to tip the lid and let the sun light again,
Coz the world is not a box,

There's no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks.

And everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks

Is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man;
It's the piece of the peace of Islam

Afraid to Read

How many words she’s read before,

she’s consumed two thousand books or more.

Musty pulp and glue soundproof her tiny room.

She cannot understand why this book in her hand fascinates her now so much that she’s almost shy to touch.

“Don’t think about the words it’s just a book - paper and ink”

She reaffirms, remind herself, “a book can’t dictate what to think.”

It invites, intrigues her more than others on her shelf

“Is it just another book?” - she sits questioning herself.

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read,

the wisdom that’s revealed may burrow in her mind

She’ll be obliged to admit,

She’ll be obliged to submit

But will she be strong enough to live the truth she finds?

Oh Allah, she’s so afraid to read.

-Dawud Wharnsby Ali..

dont. be. afraid. stay. strong. face.your. fears

-me-

Dont worry, dont be afraid, Allah is with us..

-anonymous-

peluang untuk memperoleh kemuliaan..

tak banyak yg dah berlaku dlm hidup sy beberape hari ni. cume mlm td sebahagian drp kami sisterhood celebrate birthday kepam di 'kedai kopi'. design kedai ni agak lawa tp sygnya servisnya sgt2 lambat dan adekah patut tempat yg ber aircond ni dibenarkan utk merokok! (sy tak boleh terime sungguh..busuk tudungku jadinye..). tapi ape2 pun heppy dpt celebrate besday kepam dgn sisters yg lain =). n to kepam heppy belated 23, smoge smakin heppy dan diberkati..=D (kepam turns 23 last sunday). oh, n kepam sudahkah anda habis menganalisa thesis kte?hehe. me lg ckit..plannye adalah utk kite memasukkan data dlm spss stelah tentamen anat jumaat ni..

peluang memperoleh kemuliaan

last sunday we (me, azra, doyot, iman n ain) went to taruna (a pesantren) for our weekly pengajian n tafseer surah al-ahzab was discussed. an emphasize more or less was given regarding kemuliaan yg diberikan kpd kaum wanita. Ustazah aka ibu umar mentioned about satu hadits tentang kedatangan seorang wafid (utusan) dr kaum wanita bertemu Rasulullah sallallahualaihiwassalam untuk meminta persamaan hak antara lelaki dan wanita. wanita itu menyampaikan keluhan para wanita bahawa kaum lelaki diizinkan keluar berperang dan berpeluang utk mendapatkan syahid sedangkan kaum wanita duduk di rumah menguruskan keperluan suami dan anak-anak, di manakah peluang kami untuk mendapatkan syahid? kemudian Rasulullah dengan penuh hikmahnya menjawab, kembalilah kamu kepada kaum wanita dan sampaikan kpd mereka bhw sekiranya mereka mentaati suami dan menjaga hak2 nya, mereka akan mendapat ganjaran yang sama namun sedikit sekali antara para wanita yang mengamalkannya..

Satu lagi hadits turut membincangkan tentang kemuliaan yang diberikan kpd kaum wanita iaitu sekiranya seorang wanita itu solat 5 waktu, puasa sebulan di bulan Ramadhan, menjaga kehormatannya dan taat pada suami wanita itu boleh masuk ke dlm syurga dari mana2 pintu yg diinginkannya.

Namun ada juga hadis yg berlawanan bahawa Rasulullah sallallahualaihiwassalam bersabda Aku ditunjukkan neraka dan banyak penghuninya adalah wanita kerana mereka mengingkari kebaikan suaminya.Mungkin juga banyak wanita yang berpotensi menjadi penghuni neraka krn kurang memerhatikan soal aurat dan akhlak. Na'uzubillahi min zalik.

Jadi kesimpulan yg boleh sy ambil di sini ialah Allah itu Maha Adil. Dia telah memberi persamaan hak kepada kedua-dua wanita dan lelaki tapi dalam bidang yang berbeza. Benar, Ar Rijal Qawwamun 'ala Nisaa' tetapi di sebalik kehebatan seorang lelaki itu ada seorang wanita yang menyokongnya.

Wanita itu berpeluang untuk mendapatkan kemuliaan di sisi Allah dengan mentaati suami namun sedikit sekali yang memanfaatkan peluang ini. Malahah, kalau dilihat pada zaman ini lebih banyak wanita yang prefer untuk mengutamakan karier drp keluarga. Rugilah kita kalau mensia2kan peluang kemuliaan yang Allah beri ini. Sesungguhnya janji Allah adalah benar.

Seorang ibu itu jugalah madrasah pertama anak-anak. Jadi, wanita harus mempunyai kesedaran untuk melengkapkan diri dengan ilmu-ilmu ilahi dan duniawi (ex: betulkan bacaan Qur'an, hafal qur'an dsb) kerana merekalah nanti yg akan 1st hand mendidik anak2 untuk melahirkan anak2 kecil itu sbgai generasi jundi2 islam nanti. kalau tak, jadilah mereka seperti ketam, mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus tapi dia sendiri berjalan bengkok.sangat besar n amanah tanggungjwb seorg wanita ini rupanya. tapi besar pulalah ganjaran yang Allah janjikan padanya jika berjaya melaksanakannya dengan baik.

Semulia2 pengabdian adalah pengabdian kepada suami- kata2 daripada Ibu Umar.
(after the devotion to Allah and His Messenger to add)

When u talk about women rights, we shud also talk about women responsibilities. How can u request on ur rights when u dont perform ur responsibility wholely?
-Dr Hjh Harlina Haji Siraj

Ballighuni walau ayaat..

inter 05 outbound day..

sumtimes pics speak more than words and here are they.. (credits to sheng yew=) )

us

girls only

the girls and the facis

thanx =)

its weeken, horraay!(alhamdulillah..)

just as i've been planning to spend my weken home alone, all to myself (finally..i thot), the INTER secretariate has sumting up their sleeves pulak. herm, i may choose je not to go but afraid that i might miss sum really gud quality time wif my batchmates maybe for the sekian kalinya..

i was somnolent the whole day thru, due to the fact that i didn't sleep at all last nite in order to finish up my pharmaco report. serves me right for procrastinating. i kickstarted doin' it just last nite. i was sleepyhead so badly to think that i even dozed off time usrah n tenteran anatomy!gosh, dozing off in anatomy lab is the last unthinkable things to do. thanks to doyot, has n nanie for being such a bunch of supporting friends (sudi melayan me thru thick and thins throughout the day n esp doyot for sudi layan2 me merepek2 =] ).

as reminded by has (to get sum sleep once i've gotten back home =) ), i immediately put myself to bed after performing my asar prayer. i was soo deeply lost in transition until azra woke me up for maghrib prayer. gosh, the sleep seemed to last forever. it felt so. when i woke up i thot i was in a different space ( so much for exaggerating). that's wut happens when u desperately need sleep.the kinda sleep that u'd get is the ' hard' sleep.

oh, and to adek2 06 : min, faz and siti yg sgt cute, thanx for the lovely green brooch! (wlupun upon request dari diri sendiri yg menggedik.theh hee..). thanx sesangat, korg memang cuteee,hehe =).

n to cek powh...ayyoo dah nak 2 minggu cek powh jadi housemate baru kitorg gantikan kak azy. tak wish 'welcoming the new tenant' lagi..cek powh sayang..welcome to our living shack, to our humble abode, to our small yet warm and cozy escapade..ur presence in the house brings out a lot more love to the house..its highly appreciated, welcoming u as a part of us and hopefully us as a part of u too..susah senang same dirase..=D

to lovely queen iman, get well sooon from ur molar teeth tootache..kesian die..i cud imagine how painful it is..the 'get well soon wish' goes along to doyot..(rajin2 makan ubat =) )..kepam n yati (hope u both recuperate completely from the illness..soon insyaAllah)..

too bad iman n doyot cant join us for the so called inter 05 'fun day' tomoroe =(..

ohh, and im missing my siblings laa..just afta magrib, me, azra n belle chatted bout our sisters n brothers...how we might deviate in sum things, but deep inside there's the love that even though we don show it its alwiz there. the same goes to me n my brothers. i just love to pick up fights with them (theh he..jahat kan) but we both know that we dun really mean the harsh words we said and the bad things we've done. ada kedekatan dalam pergaduhan, hehe. i suppose u both know me too well..missing u both from the bottom of my hearts.

us during kak huda's engagement..timah, me, ain (my lil cousin), kak huda, ecad, man n yg kecik kat bwh tuu unaa...

kak huda cheer up..smile a lot ya..i really miss u..=). i believe we'll make it thru..

stalker separuh masa

tgh syiok2 buat pharmaco (im not even half way thru..remind u..) teringat pulak kat kak salwa. ntah kenape boleh teringat kat de. pelik sungguh. kak salwa adalah housemate kak huda (kakak kesayangan saye =) )kat kl, then my fingers got itchy to google her blog (manelaa tau ade gamba wedding de harituu de dh upload, out of curiosity). cos my sis tima dok cerite bout her wedding yg i cudnt go cos dah balik jogja n bout incidents at her wedding in regards to her n her hubby yg sgt cute (sbb katenye character mereka agak opposite..hehe opposites attract!). then terjumpe pulak blog zauj kak salwa..(dr khairil idham) . bolehlah bukak link di name tersebut. penuh dengan puisi2 yg best! sum of them are even published in the papers and antologi bahasa bumi yg is available d pasaran malaysia recently. waa kagumnye dgn mereke berdue!!

kepade kak salwa..sy tak sempat wish..slamat pengantin baru..=)..baraakallahuma..smoga mahligai yg dibina sentiasa di bawah naungan ridhaNya.. pas ni mesti dh x kirim buku2 dari sini kat sy lagi kan??..dh ade zauj seorg penulis! ;)

Sesungguhnya Allah itu adalah sebaik2 pencipta!
He Knows.. =)

this was waaaay back...

ciloking from rashid's fotopages was dis photo which seemed like only ' a few days back'. gosh, has it really been 4 years??

"uS wHEn THings WEre A lOt SimPlEr.."

GRADUATION DINNER 2005 A-LEVEL KTT

tash-sheza-ipahh-diana-jegha-ael-farah-penutie-toy-aida

6-2-a2 roxxx!!hehhee...

herm..now i really2 feel old..(hehhee..poyoo!) =p

10 mu'assafat

Objektif tarbiyah (didikan hati) adalah untuk menghasilkan individu2 dengan 10 mu'assafat ini :

1) akidah yang sejahtera
2) ibadah yang benar
3) akhlak yang mantap
4) pemikiran yang berwawasan
5) jasmani yang kuat
6) mampu mencari mata pencarian
7) berdisiplin / mampu menguasai diri sendiri (high self control)
8) tersusun dalam pengurusan (self-organized)
9) menjaga waktu
10) bermanfaat kpd org lain..

let's self evaluate our own self. kalau kita menggelar diri kita org2 yang telah menerima tarbiyah dan sendiri berada di medan tarbiyah, apakah kita sudah memenuhi kesepuluh ciri2 tersebut. ohh, diriku terasa sungguh..esp part num 3, 7, 8 dan 9. oh..di manakah silapnya??

Tarbiyyah itu mendidik bukan mengajar.
Tarbiyyah itu mengasihi bukan mendominasi.
Tarbiyyah menghasilkan insan2 rabbani bukan insan2 yang tidak peduli..

Ya Allah didiklah hatiku..Bantulah aku untuk memahami kalamMu..bantulah aku untuk menghayati hakikat hidup ini..

"Sesungguhnya perumpaan dunia dan diriku adalah seperti seorang yang beristirahat sejenak di bawah sepohon pokok pada siang yang amat panas..kemudian ia pergi meninggalkannya.."

( HR Ahmad)

curhattt

Saya sangat sedih hari ni
Mujur saya dah call kakak saya utk curhat.
lega ckit..

ade ke patut kak huda ketawakan saya?
hins2...saaabaaa jelahhhh...

target hari ni : buat lukisan anatomi, buat farmako, baca histo exam esok
tips hari ni : tak mo pk perkara yg saya tak buat. sy akan gunakan otak saya hanya utk berfikir perkara2 yg akan saya buat!

oh, sy otw nak beli tiket balik raye.mungkin hari isnin, 29 sept 08. air asia jogja-kl. herm,moge2 ni adalah pilihan yg paling tepat, insyaAllah..

akhir kate pade diri sendiri;
chill out n cheer up toy..!

jalan ini..

jalan ini jalan yang sukar
jalan ini berliku-liku
jalan ini penuh sepi
jalan ini saksi air mata
jalan ini ku korban segala..

tapi..
jalan ini jalan cinta
jalan ini jalan hamba
jalan ini fitrah jiwa
jalan ini ku dekat dengan-Nya
dan jalan ini..
kebenaran tiada tara..

kebenaran

by A Samad Said

Setiap yang benar

betapa ditekan

tetap menjalar

tanpa dibaja

kan tetap mekar

tanpa udara pun

kan tetap segar

the self monologue-ing

i soo want to study rite now but there's sumthing bugging me (yeah.once in a blue moon,im a stay up-er)

am i being emotional?..
am i emotional?..
am i explosive? (i mean kuat melenting)..

in fact, in these past few days, i was deeply tested by Allah to prove that i'm also careless n forgetfull as well..wow, wut a package! to add to the flavour, eh hem.., i'm also a freak!

the truth is that they're all true.
the truth is bitter but it's true

i am emotional, dramatic, explosive,forgetful, careless n a freak.
that's me
oh my god, that's me.


i'd better change

heppy burstday dearest ayah!

im just soo tired.if i bump my head on the pillow, i think i'll get to sleep right away.unfortunately, i just cant sleep now. i'll have to postpone it for a while.

today is ayah's birthday. my dearest dad is turning 46! sweet 46 ayah..hope lawak2 ayah akan menjadi bertambah kualiti pas ni.(heh gurau..wut a miserable birthday wish!). hope ayah bakal dapat menantu2 yg soleh lagi best..(eh..lagi la tak kait tak?hah ha..).hope hidup ayah semakin berkat dihiasi anak2 yang soleh (n solehah) lagi menyolehkan. semoga anak2 ayah akan jadi org2 yg berguna yg dpt menjadi saham bagi ayah di dunia dan akhirat kelak. doakan anak2 ayah yg nakal2 ni semue selalu..tha mintak maaf if tak menjadi anak yg baik selame ni ;)

smoga Allah memberkati usaha2 ayah selama ni, sama ada yang kelihatan ataupun tidak. only He knows..

heppy 46th burstday ayah..

Luv u from the bottom of my heart..

thots,

me ;)

Love always wins

there are so many questions about life that u storm urself with, yet u just dont have the answers.

u seek the answers elsewhere externally just to find out that the answers lies in ur doorstep, it actually lies deep inside ur heart.
but sumtimes ur just doubtful about it.

reminds me of a saying in Tuesdays with Morrie:
'Life is a series of push and pulls.
But which will win?
Love always wins.. "

And lemme just add, love n takwa to Allah will always win too..
That's my basis of choice.

No matter how much i want a thing,
no matter how deep my love for some things,
It's still U above all matters
And its still U all that matters,
isn't it?

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." (Al-Baqarah : 216)

May He always be my parameter of choice...

"Tuhanku, jangan biarkan aku sendirian. Dan Engkau adalah sebaik-baik Warits." (QS. Al-Abiya': 89).

planning for the day

from now on, i'll teach myself to 'plan for the day'. that's what the seniors taught me to.

n today i'm going to finish my class at 2. n afterwards i'm going to work on my thesis (i know i've been brooding over my thesis again and again yet not doing sumthing productive over it-sigh*).

n then in the eve i also plan to attend sum pengajian class. n tonite spend sum time with the books.

the art of planning is prioritizing. n my priority for the day is my thesis.so i might have to skip other stuffs if i have to.

yep, the art of prioritizing. the priority of prioritizing and the most priority of all the priorities. i hope i'll master them well.

kickstarting the day with bismillah. let's hope this whole 'planning for the day' thing works out..

the mess and clutters in my life

back home in jogja. sweet lovely,home. it seems like a blink of an eye just passed since i last saw the face of my mother and now her image could only be captured in the form of a picture in a frame. changes come and go,whether u like it or not. the good thing is that our house's front yard is now filled with cute shrubs or tiny plants, where vacant ground can hardly be seen. i really love this new change.


the sad thing is that, kak azy is leaving jogja, returning home to Malaysia,graduated as a doctor yesterday. must admit that i think im gonna miss her. ever since we've stayed in the house together she's been sort of a mother to me. and with her finally having to leave,i might notice the differences (i'll miss her cooking particularly!). in fact, a lot of seniors are leaving us. kak am's n kak fied's batch is graduating this december. some of them are really close to me,us. that will cause an impact. i bet jogja wont be the same again. it just wont be the same. im gonna miss them =(


my room is messy.our house is cluttered with papers. i wish that i cud just dump them all away. life is just complicated. and i sense that life as an adult had just begun. how i wish i am husna again and again.