dhuha yg hening

ya Allah
saat ini,
aku hanya mahu menjadi
hambaMu yg berijtihad menuntut ilmu di jalan Mu
maka kurniakanlah aku
kesungguhan
dlm melaksanakan hak-hak ilmu Mu
untuk dipelajari dan diajari
juga kurniakanlah aku
kesucian hati
agar ilmu mudah tembus ke dalam dadaku

ya Allah
saat ini,
aku hanya mahu menjadi
hambaMu yang berserah diri hanya kepadaMu
menghayati ayat-ayat suciMu
agar iman tumbuh dalam jiwaku
untuk Kau bukakan pintu-pintu barakah dr langit dan bumiMu
maka kurniakanlah aku
ketenangan dari lubuk hatiku

(Ya Allah kurniakanlah aku kemudahan untuk belajar anatomi yg susah itu -_- . Sesungguhnya tak ada yg mudah kecuali Engkau yg menjadikannya mudah dari sisiMu..)

im gonna miss it =(

becoming book fair in Malaysia! too bad i'm gonna miss it =(

huhu

check out new books by zaid akhtar-salju sakinah and faisal tehrani's karya nan indah launching (14 april) during the book fair to those in Malaysia!

the place i so want to go rite now

i want to go to ISTANBUL, TURKEY!

Earlier on,Istanbul was known as Constantinople. Quoting the saying of Napoleon Bonaparte :"if the world is made into a country, Constantinople would be its Capital City"

The conqueration of Constantinople later by the muslim armies led by Sultan Muhammed Al-Fateh in 1453 was already quoted by the prophet:
Hadith of the Prophet, sallallahualaihiwassalam:
"Verily you shall conquer Constantinople. What a wonderful leader will the leader be, and what a wonderful army will that army be!"

The city was originally settled in 667BC by Greeks who named it Byzantion after King Byzas.

Istanbul is the only city in the world which has been the capital city! of three different empires:

Roman empire (Constantinople-AD 443) -->Byzantine empire

-->Ottoman empire (1453-Sultan Muhammed Al-Fateh changed its name to Constantiniyye)

Unfortunately when Mustapha Kamal Attaturk came into power he changed the city's name from Constantiniyye to Istanbul while Ankara replaced Istanbul as the capital city of Turkey.huhu.

Here are the many attractions in Istanbul:

Bosphorus strait

-together with the Marmara Sea,is the only strait connecting Asia (in the east by the Black Sea) and Europe (by the Mediterranean Sea in the west)

-Bosphorus means 'passage of cow' in thracian.In the Legend of Io,Io,one of the many Zeus' lover,was turned into cow by Zeus who is afraid his wife Hera may get enraged after finding out about the affair.so the cow was asked to swim in the sea to run away.But Hera found out about it anyway.Poor Io the cow.

Bosphorus Bridge at night

-A bridge connecting Asia to Europe apart from the Sultan Muhammed Al Fateh's bridge

Aya Sofia/Hagia Sofia/Sancta Sophia/The Church of Great Wisdom

-used to be a church during the Byzantine empire-then turned into a mosque in Ottoman empire.Kamal Attaturk changed it into a museum anyway.huhu

SultanAhmet's Mosque

-Famously known as the Blue Mosque

as u can see its blue background (of Bosphorus strait).

-Was built by the Sultan to compete with the beautiful Byzantium's AyaSofia .Has 6 minarets n a total of 36 domes.Whoa~

Blue Mosque

-upclose n personal.hehe

The mosque of Sulayman the Magnificient
-the largest mosque in Turkey.built by Sultan Sulayman 1.Outside the mosque,there is his tomb besides his powerful and ambitious wife,Roxelana's tomb.

-His death in 1566 starts the period known as the Rule of The Women.Weak sultans were encouraged to indulge in pleasures while their mothers and grandmothers busily indulge in political scheming and planning.hoho


Galata Tower aka The Tower of Christ

-it controlled a giant metal chain placed across the Golden Horn to prevent muslim ships from invading the waterways

-It was futile anyhow as under the genius Sultan Muhammad Fateh's order,the muslim armies transported their boats overland and stormed in the waterways the next morning.That's how they managed to conquer Constantinople (cool,isn't it?)

home alone..

i'll be home alone for dis whole weekend.azra is going back to mlysia,her elder bro is getting engaged,meanwhile kak azy is in banyumas hospital,luar kota for her pediatric department training.

though its weken a lot of things and engagement await me to be done.

like dis evening i'll have murottal class n have to finish doing TOR with yati for TBMM(Tim Bantuan Medis Mahasiswa) upcoming ALS(Advanced Life Support) training. N tomoroe evening also i'll be having TBMM Refreshing BLS(Basic Life Support) session.have to study also for that since there'll be post test and the mark is vital for assessing whether we can proceed to ALS training or not.The thing that has not been done for the week yet is to arrange a meeting with dr ronney regarding our thesis (he is our methodological advisor). Missing the good ole times in TBMM. Lotsa memory throughout our participation in it (kan yati?hehe). Can't believe weekend is approaching again. Time is moving as swiftly as ever.No mercy at all.All in all, happy weken everyone. Break a leg!

Berlakon as probandus time PAB (Pelantikan Anggota Baru) 2007.rasenye memang boleh dinobatkan sbgi pelakon wanita terbaik time nih.hehhee.one of the best nights in my life.lying on the canvas and staring at the stars beramai2 when the sky clears off after the rain (which is ironic).=)

seandainya aku berhenti berjuang..

result xm yg merosot.

mase untuk muhasabah diri

i dun think its due to my bizziness or abundance of commitment to the extracurricular activity.maybe yes, a part of it

but the major contributing factor i shall say is da flames of fire dat have stopped burning in me

i must admit that i can feel that my motivation towards study and berjuang had been decreasing compared to the earlier years

i used to be so semangat and inspired, i noticed dat (esp in 1st year)

u can actually feel wut is happening inside ur heart and the changes it experiences

cos the best measurer of a man is no one else except his OWN SELF

and when ur measuring urself, ur comparing it with ur own self,the past with the present,not ANYONE ELSE

and i can feel the 'semangat,motivasi and inspirasi' in me is depleting

i can hardly concentrate when i study nowadays

my mind goes on a drift sumtimes wen i'm listening to lectures

wen i study i dun have the desire to prolong it, just 'ala kadar sahaja'

its hard to keep myself tied to the studying table

and i'd rather do anything else than study!

n akibatnya pun dpt result pun sipi2 n based on good luck charm,like if i get an A/B its just 70,08.if i get an A its just 75,3 n such.its so margin!(wut a shame)-certainly not an honourable gaining

its not the problem with so many things or extracurricular activity to do

its the problem with the passion,focus and concentration that is melting away from me

lack of motivation

could be due to my lack of imaan too

A gud muslim is one who gets better day by day

but instead im straying away!

Allah dun let me be in the state of weak imaan

cos it makes me so susceptible and so vulnerable

bring back the iman n passion towards my study within me

cos i noe studying is also a jihaad for U!

quoting one of my fren's y!m status

(sory cilok tanpe kebenaran):

"Daerah kita bukan daerah cinta,bukan masanya merajuk, kasih memujuk,tiada gurau senda memanjang kerana kita dalam berjuang.."

Ya Allah, make me a fighter, a great one...

mak yg sangat cute!

mlm td called mak.mak tgh aja tusyen.

me : mak masak ape arini?(dgn nada riangria)
mak : mak masak nasi goreng je
me : mak orang masak bihun goreng, tp takdela best sgt.hehhe
me : mak,tha dah daftar nak masuk tarannum
mak : yeke?mak pon slalu dengar mari bertarannum kat tv
me : yeke?oh yg rancangan bebudak kecik tu ek
mak : haah.mak selalu gak try2 tapi tak berape jadi.tergelak2 husna tgk mak prektis.hehhe.tengok bebudak kecik tu buat jadi pulak.mak ingat mak boleh nyanyi mak bolehla tarannum.tapi tak berape jadi.susah juge.hihhi
me : memang pon mak.tak semestinye boleh nyanyi boleh tarannum.kawan2 tha kat mahad dulu pun byk yg nyanyi bese2 je tapi bile tarannum jadi sedap,hikhik
mak : haah tula.ustad tu kate kalo nak terer tarannum kena bersungguh-sungguh,sepenuh hati ngan kena pandai kontrol nafas turun naik.mmg betul2 kena konsentrate n sungguh2
me : hahahhaa.takot jugak masok separuh jalan.dulu mase kat skolah pon slalu try tapi tak brape jadi.sampai givup.hahha.mak rase tha patot join tak mende ni?
mak : join jela..alang2 ada peluang nak belaja kat sane.bile lagi nak belaja.
me : haah ek.nanti boleh aja ke anak cucu.hekhek.lagipon bukannye mahal pon.tambah ilmu.hehhee..

kesimpulannye mak mmg sangat cute.sentiase encouraging n alwiz gimme reasons to go on.ade2 jek kate2 de yg memberi semangat n peransang hati.
wen diri rase unworthy dielah yg akan beri kate2 dorongan
faveret sentence de..mak slalu doakan tha,tiap2 hari..
mum,ur a gem, the angel in my heart n the bestest gift in my life!

all mums are...=)

i choose to be strong

When life is all about choices,
i choose to have love and trust within me
i choose to have faith,hopes and belief
i choose to neglect the negative feelings
i choose to be like a child
so carefree and unconscious
i choose to be sincere and noble
i choose to be the person inside of me
i choose to be whatever i want to be
and i choose to be strong
no matter how rough the current is
and im riding against it
cos i know feelings are all about choices
we choose the feelings we're having
stand strong yet dont be still
keep on moving
and walk forward...

today the little boy might be tripping but tomorrow he'll run through the field (Shaykh Hussain Abdul Sattar)

take ur small step slowly
but make it strong and steady...
-me

books and books!

i think i need a dictionary. a small, concise yet compact ones like the one azra has from Collins. the thing with me is that i read quite A LOT of books but wenever i stumble across new vocabularies, i never bother or shall i say too LAZY to refer to the dictionary. so i end up just assuming what the words mean, and as i'd come across the words over and over again i might believe that the word's meaning i assumed is true. but the problem is that sumtimes it is NOT correct the way i had interpreted it, or maybe sumtimes i do get lucky n the words are guessed correctly, yet i wont be too sure to use the words in my writings, so that might explain the lack of vocabularies u might notice in my writings. herm, the problem with the improvisers, one like me! anyway, i wonder how am i to buy a dictionary in this current moment, im too broke for God's sake! urgh. one month in average for the next scholarship to be deposited.herm, shall i just wait for my next birthday, as a bithday prezzie request? gosh, i'd be too old by then.LOL!

Anyway, wut have i been doing for these past thurs-sunday holidays?apart from being a succesful couch potato, attending birthday parties (we had doyot's on friday plus aida joe's n NK's combo on saturday), the maulidur rasul celebration ( which went off quite a blast), finishing my PK reports (yeay!-quite an achievement for me i shall say), i've been reading a few books, like usual.

God, i just love reading and journalism.Throw any books at me and they will get my eyes' attention. I suppose i inherited the 'talent' from my dad. my grandma once told me- "ur dad would rather opt to stay at home to read books compared to wandering outside aimlessly even when i had given him money to spend".hahha! Don't worry, anyway my dad is not a nerd-he was a good athlete, adventurous, charismatic, influential (very!-this is from my mum's point of view =P) n had always wanted to become a marine engineer when he was a youngster. The cutest thing is that my sisters and i used to have a knack at reading sidney sheldon's books (of course Kak Huda started it,me n tima were her loyal followers-LOL) and whenever he caught me reading them he'd come n say "i used to read quite a lot of sidney sheldons when i was a teen "(sheldon is an old writer anyway) n he'd say "oh, this book is about this and that, rite?"-hehhe. and sumtimes he'd say (when i read books from other authors)- "what's this book is about and once u've finished, lend me them "(though i never did-oh yeah,once-hahha!)

Anyway, now my sidney sheldon book reading era is a long history already. Now my book pick range has matured a bit. i'd opt for something more spiritual, more of about life issues, inspirational and universal theme,though i still enjoy thrillers, mind twisters and psychologic stuffs.Anyway, my point (initially) was to share the books i had read during the 3 days hols actually=P. I've kickstarted reading 'Berguru kepada Allah by Abu Sangkan', Rona Bosphorus by Zaid Akhtar (its a thin book- one of Hadiah Sastra Utusan winner) and two of Belle's Readers Digest february 2007 and 2008 edition. I still do enjoy inspirational and breakthrough stories from the readers digest (though not as hardcore as before as sumtimes i have a feeling that it sorta have sum antireligion sentiments).Anyway again,i've linked a new blog belonging to Anya Peters, her story about being homeless and living in her car for 9 months and how blogging was her only contact to the external and real world was featured in RD feb 2008 issue.her real life stories in the blog touched the hearts of many and it eventually managed to change her fate from being homeless to finally have a home when New York Times featured her story.Plus she even succeded to write a book about her life which became bestseller. Check out her blog link.

Herm, to danesz n tima i'll leave u with one (and the only!) previous maulidur rasul pic i had..hehe.lotsa lurve, (cipika cipiki) =).back to books now u...!

from left : qilah, doy2, pong and me (i noe u guyz dah bored dgn pic ni tp mereka sgt cute!xsia2 mereke bertema purple dan memakai alma mater ugm-mereka menang juare kuiz sirah maulidurrasul mengalahkan kurt kuden dan kwn2 @ team uhibbu fatimah)-hehe. takpe kuden,aku xmenyesal pakai biruu =P.lain kali boleh berentap lagi ye..dlm kuiz minggu memperingati khalifah,haha,untung naseb org siape tauu~hehhe!

i love holidays!

i love holidays!

i wish we cud have more of them..=)

me in one of my holiday moods..=)

woro-woro..

roger-roger...

jom memeriahkan sambutan maulidur rasul 1429 hijrah yg akan dtg beberapa hari lagi!

Santai bersama..Rasulullah dlm kenangan...

Tempat : Ruang kuliah Lantai 2, FK UGM

Date/Day : Khamis, 12 Rabiulawal,1429 Hijrah @ 20 Mac 2008

Time : 8.30-selesai

Aktiviti : Forum, kuiz sirah Nabi, selawat beramai-ramai.InsyaAllah ada rezeki ada door prize..hehe (tak janji..insyaALLAH je)

Anjuran : UPIMI Jogja

"Wahai Nabi, engkau adalah cahaya Allah SWT yang diletakkan pada sulbi Nabi Adam as, sehingga ketika Nabi Adam as turun ke muka bumi ini, engkau ikut turun ke muka bumi bersama Nabi Adam as. Lalu nabi Adam as melahirkan anaknya, dan anaknya melahirkan keturunan, sehingga engkau bersama Nabi Nuh as ketika banjir besar melanda kaumnya, sehingga engkau berada di sulbi para laki-laki mulya yang menikahi wanita-wanita suci, sehingga engkau dilahirkan oleh ibumu dengan cahaya yang terang benderang, dan sungguh hingga kini kami masih dalam naungan cahayamu"

-Sayyidina Abbas Bin Abdul Mutalib

(Kitab Maulid Ad-Diba'i)

how ironic..

reflecting back on my life
how ironic it cud be

..people that i had once despised, now becoming close to me
..people that i had bad thought them are actually far from wut i imagined
..things that i had wanted to obtain but neva thot cud really have it is now under my possessions
..stuffs that i had wanted to become n now im becoming

Gosh, in just in a blink of an eye
time flies, u grow,u learn..a LOT
but there's alwiz that history
which when u reflect upon them
u realize dat
u can neva really trust ur judgement on da present
cos u neva know wut can really happen to u in da future

i wonder wut other life ironies in store for me waiting to be revealed
it's like been there, done that
but wutever it is
my favourite quote will alwiz be

"with great power comes great responsibilities"
-Peter Parker.my all time favourite childhood superhero (",)

or maybe,
"life is like a box of chocolate.u neva know wut u gonna get"
-mr Forrest Gump

but the gud times remain perished..

exam week..

tomorroe's my endocrine n metabolism block xm.ofkosla i still hv a lot to study cos I've been having difficulty to focus lately. But neva mind,pulun2 n don gv up! There must b a way out..=)

1st session is tomorrow while the 2nd session is on Saturday. And on Sunday we'll have Annual Grand Meeting of Jogja's Malaysian Students Association. i havent finished with the reports yet! Hope me n jas will have time to pulun finishing it afta xm on saturday.huhu~

been planning a few interesting things to be done afta da xm..like going fishing wif doy2, iman n da others.hahha!cmon sisters whoever yg ade bike mari join!!sile2..hope the place is not dat far. i dun really noe wer da fishing pond n restaurant's exact location actually. hope i will survive wif kak azy's route directory.heh heh.
n oso nk dine out wif the sisters, kak fied, kak am n the others. we need to hangout. miss sharing each others' life updates. eh, n oso me n ida have to arrange a session to meet up wif da muslimah juniors upimi. insyaAllahla semoge jadi.

n oso to finish Tunggu Teduh Dulu. im oredi halfway thru, despite the exam!!hehhe. a very2 great book. highly recommended to all book fans! well done faisal tehrani. u really get the message through!(erk betul ke ayat ni..heee). n to cook, argh dh lame gile dapur tak berasap.huuu huuu. simptoms takde mase. oh yea, n to watch ayat2 cinta. dh lame ambil from iman but no time to watch it till the end. br smpi minet ke 36 hahha. sum says its not bad, romantic, got message and all. but i suppose to the ayat2 cinta book fans or yg tak fan but dah read the books mybe quite disappointing, but boleyh layanla. Mybe too goeey doeey, lack of the between the lines message of 'cinta to the pencipta' and erti kehidupan kot? haha, ini hipotesis. pandai2 je padahal belum tgk smpi abis..hehe

okla, nk continue wif my stadying. hv to go to campus at 12.
malass =(. kn assist ortho xm. huhhu.jgn malas2 laaa toy!~ SEMANGAT2...

Allah and me

Aku ingin mengerti
bukan jadi buta tuli

Aku ingin memaknai
bukan jadi mati hati

Aku ingin mencari
Jgn sampai langkahku terhenti

Aku ingin mendampingi
merasakan Engkau di sisi

Aku ingin resah ini
membuatku mengabdi

Aku tak ingin takut mati
Kerna ku tahu Kau menanti

Aku ingin kasihMu yg abadi
Kerna hanya itu yg pasti

calming antidote 4 da rescue!

stress.
lost.
capek.
cam xsure wif wuteva im doing
betul ke ni?

relax2
straighten up ur mind
try to focus
just accept the way it is
wuteva will b will b

adekah ni one of the perfectionistic syndrome
dtg lagi?
oh, lupe pule, smlm ptg afta back from campus for assistency n mirota i had major palpitation.
(erk,adekah ini long term effect minum coffee hari2?hehhe, lbey kuang aa. haah2-->terpakse mengaku)
uh huh. cortisol dan epinephrine tinggi kah?

anxiety nak exam ee
n keje pon byk
kn hanta thesis proposal sbtu ni
n tgh siapkan report biochem
di samping lecture notes yg baru dibace beberape shj
spt biase rs menyesal tak stadi awal2
sedangkan blok endocrine n metabolism ni best
kene fahamla, takkan stakat nk hafal je
once again, im rushing things
Allah, gives me more than 24 hours
or make me a person who hates to sleep/dun need sleep,heh

dahla2,bebel je
borak2 still sempat
cubela discipline kan ckit diri
instead of suke tdo n buang mase

herm,
sudahlaah tu
bertenang2
take things easy je
go wif the flow
xyah too hard on self
bace doa bebanyak
bismillah2
insyaAllah2

+_+ ------> (",)

the one day will end journey

There are times when u feel at lost n trying to find urself

This is one of those times.

Im trying to find myself
who tahira a.k.a toy really is,hoho

cos sumtimes ur lost between who u really are n who u wanna be.
when i curhat to azra bout it she says everybody feels so
yes, i suppose..

herm neway, lets hope dat dis mistaken-identity-crisis dun gets in the way cos block xm is one week away!!
with tonnes of stuffs to b done (yeah u've heard dis million times already yet the workload don seem to get any lesser-dats life). neway still, i do love my job, assisting compre test n teaching the juniors. i do learn A LOT.
seeing people clad in lab coats performing skills-groggy n nervous like nobody cares n knowing dat one day soon u'll be in their shoes sure gv u sum keinsafan to stadi hard-yes, i hope so. two things i just learnt yesterday - unprepared people tends to babble A LOT more compared to the well prepared ones. well, sort of, most of them. perhaps its true. as belle's saying goes (hey hey belle ingat tak ape peribahasa yg ko gtau aku tuh?hehhe). n oso one incident with a 'sumone' dat makeS me realize dat GOD is just. wut humiliation dat u've done to people will counterback u later n get u humiliated in return. huhhu. i've seen them. really2 please, neva do other people wrongs or 'ada hasad dengki' cos Lord is ever seeing n JUST. Hukum karma really works here. Like Leo Tolstoy's saying- Tuhan tahu tapi menunggu- oh, i love dis saying =P . Marilah bersame2 menjauhi hasad dengki. yeah~

anyhow, im currently on-the-way reading 'Tunggu Teduh Dulu' a novel by Faisal Tehrani. it's basically bout the struggle n perjuangan of a Muslimah named Salsabila Fahim and the search of self, god n life meaning plus the interpretation of wut is actually in store behind every destiny. i suppose it suits my 'lost identity' mood now.heh he he. Here's sum lines dat i love in da book :

Kata Teh Sofia,
ya, kerja Tuhan siapa tahu?

Kata aku,
Tuhan akan menunjukkan kepada yang mencari.
Ya, asal kau mahu mencari, Dia menunjukkan.
Apa kata kau?

Happy burfday to beloved baby bro, ecad- who turns 13 today. Kak Tho loves u =). cepat grow up n be a handsome n reliable young muslim man!

n not to forget, 2 of the important person in my life- my cutest mum who turned sweet 46 last 1st march n beloved housemate miss azra who turned 23 last february 27. actually i planned special entries for these two occasion, but as usual, blogger.com didn't make life easy for me. hah ha. mybe nxt time. all da best oso for mr kurt -jogja future bestselling equestrian (hehhe) in his open horseriding tournament in bandung. way da go mr darcy!!dis is even betta than the taylor's college students!! (haha u noe wut i mean =P)

will be meeting pak wadi at one in sarjito today. now phak hsia n cek ning is joining our thesis team. welkam to the team..ngeee (",)