naikkan mood

tgh takde mood. saje letak gamba ni. secara random. besok exam.. doakan saya!

doakan husna ok

husna eksiden. dgn ecad. pukul 10 mlm td. kak huda baru call td bgtau. ecad bwk husna naik moto tak ada lampu n tak pakai helmet. then langgar lubang sebab tak nampak. tak tahula mane ecad dpt moto tu. kat rumah tak ada moto pon. ada kereta je. apetah lahh lagi moto yg tak ada lampu. huhu. husna kene jahit 14 jahitan. banyak tu kot. tak tau kat bagian kepala mane. tapi dah xray alhamdulillah tak ade internal injury, doc kata insyaAllah xada pape. skrg mak stay kt hospital jaga husna dkat wad doktor nk monitor kalau2 ada tanda peningkatan intracranial pressure. doakan husna ok ye semua..risau pulak rasanye. rasa nk marah kt ecad pon ade. tapi tgh tekan STOP button. sy muda2 dulu pun nakal juge kot. huhu. lain laa rasanya bile family sendiri yg kene. risauuuuuuu. hope xde ape2, insyaAllah. barulaa faham ape yg family mangse-mangse eksiden slame ni rase. herm, doakan ye semua smoga husna, adik kecil 6 tahun yang comel dan periang saya itu baik-baik saja..aminn. (skarang sy dah bangun sy kene stadi DV....DV DV dan DV....+_+...ohhhh sy tak suka bgn malam2 utk belaja sorang2....)

pukul 3 pagi

ada org azan pukul 3 pagi??waktu subuh masuk at 4pm. oh.. mungkin nak kejut qiyammullail agaknye. beberape kali sy tgk jam sy sebab kaget.

herm, teruk betullah knowledge microbe n pharmaco saya! enterococci, enterobacter,a aa same ke ni?

super-busy

declaring that im superr busy at the moment n...hating it?

im so sorry if i cudnt keep my emotions under check at times or if there's some appointments that i couldn't attend to...or meet up with..i'm barely struggling with my own studies at the moment n having to cut out on my own regular sleeping hours..

the 06's are going to have their OSCE exams soon so the 05's assistants are currently struggling to assist them, fulfilling their scheduled practices just as soon as our own class ends, keeping me occupied up to 4pm in the evening...in fact, sum groups are even requesting practices up to 6pm!

but then i suppose, time is an issue for most of us pun, many of us are multitasking n wishing that we have more than 24 hours a day, therefore i should not make excuses, nor complains..just do wut i have to do, n enjoys it..i hope im still one piece intact at the end of the day. pray for me ;) pendadaran (my thesis exam or final presentation) is on next wednesday.

all the best everyone!~

main tipu

di saat masa-masa terakhir itu begitu valuable-'the i need all the time in the world' utk belajar moments set in, di saat-saat itulah sy berfoye-foye. inilah yg sy namakan main tipu. hasrat di hati nk belaja, (sungguh, banyak lagi yg belum disentuh!) namun jari jemari ni sungguh merenyam utk click sini sane bloghopping from one to another.haishh....tak bermoral kan?? (kids-don eva try dis at home). yg pastinye sy dptlah beberape inspirasi dr blog2 yg sy bace tuh (byk juge gelak tawa terhibur). dari pagi memang emosi sy tak stabil. entah kenape. mcm tak betul je. pagi tadi sy belaja kat atas bumbung, tempat ampaian sidai baju. bentang tikar kt lantai tu then ambik meja kecik dan duduk bersila. sbb sy tak boleh duduk bilik, mata terlelap-lelap. lagipun 2-3 hari ni langit sangat2 lah cantik esp waktu maghrib menjelang (2 hari berturut-turut dah sy balik menjelang maghrib). langit berwarna oren ke-emas emasan (u all jogjarians ade notice tak??). subhaanallah, memang sangat cantik. (kalauu ayah ada mesti dia dah sebut chanteeeekkk...). siap ada org-org berhenti tepi jalan lagi semata mata nk ambil gamba senja nan cantik tu. jadi niat di hati sy pagi tadi adalah utk belajar sambil menikmati pemandangan langit yg cantik tu. konon2 nk mendekatkan diri pd alam. hehe. herm, pastu call mak smbil kat atas bumbung. mak sy kate pelik. housemate sy pun kate patut pelik, 'ingat ko sidai baju..lame beno kt atas tuhh'...hehee.

begitulah, bile exam menjelma, mulelah macam2 simptoms pelik2 muncul. tak makan nasilah, makan tak berkhasiatlah (mengemil), minum bende2 manis overdose lahh, sakit pinggang belakang lahh, nausea lah,panic attacklah, nk nangis lah, dan macam2 lagi. pendek kata, marilah same2 mendoakan sy agar sy tetap bertahannn dan meskipun satu dunia sy goes awry, sy masih tetap mampu memaintainkan kewarasan diri sy. aminn.

Hari Sabtu =)

Hari Sabtu. Duduk di depan laptopku. usai membaca beberapa chapter dari maryamah karpov, karya terbaru andrea hirata, senang sekali rasa hatiku. masih menimbang-nimbang haruskah ku ikut skills lab family day yang harus berkumpul jam 7 di kampus atau bersantai-santai di rumah, nanti jam 8 berpraktis basket dengan teman-teman seangkatan, itu pasti seru..

Berminggu-minggu lalu jam segini aku masih termangu-mangu membaca ulasan-ulasan dari buku PAPDI, juga melayan bebelan dari buku schwartz dan bates buat diskusi pagi sabtuku, kemudian sendirian membawa motor menongkah ring road menuju condong catur. senang sekali pagi ini rutin itu tidak dipenuhi. tapi ujian blok tercekat menungguku khamis dan jumaat nanti. moodku masih belum set untuk belajar hal-hal emergency. belajar awal bukanlah kebiasanku. memang ngebut belajar itu hobiku. susah sekali memecahkan habit yang tidak sihat buatku ini. dari jam 2 pagi tadi sudah terjaga, entah kenapa, namun konsentrasi masih belum jadi milikku. ahhh moga2 kondisi akan membaik dengan berjalannya Hari Sabtu ini.

psychosomatic

these past few days i've been having a sorta range of physical impairment signs and symptoms and i blame it on psychosomatic.

panic attack on yesterday mid morning plus stomachache in the evening --> although this might be attributed to my improper eating these last few days yet i still think that my mental played a part.

and this morning, nauseated n loss of appetite, i struggle to finish off my cereal drink.
try, try to think of something happy
i did n i finally gulped the whole drink without realizing.

Jogja kota harapan

kesan-kesan bekas puting beliung masih terlihat sewaktu aku melewati jalan biasa pulang ke kontrakan setelah penat lelah mengasistensi bedah minor yang entah kenapa lemau rasanya hari ini. bapak2 penjaga parkir yg ketika puting beliung kelmarin amat aku risaukan keselamatannya bertugas seperti biasa seolah-olah tidak ada apa2 yg sudah berlaku. penjual2 buah, doktor2 berjas putih berkeliaran dan kedai2 makan beraktivitas seperti kisah puting beliung itu hanyalah sejarah dahulu kala. sedangkan masih ada pokok2 tumbang yang masih belum dirapikan dan billboards2 kedai masih terdampar di jalanan. cepatnya jogja bangkit! seraya menyambung lamunan meneruskan langkah2 lemah, kelihatan pula seorang adik kecil tersenyum riang dipimpin si ibu yang tak kalah senang. tapi ada sesuatu yg tak kena pada si adik. kepalanya separuh botak meski berambut panjang! mungkinkah si adik pesakit leukimia?? tapi si adik sepertinya tetap bersemangat. ah, kenapa aku juga yang tetap tak bersemangat? terdengar bunyi kayuhan basikal disertai suit-suit dr belakang. siapalah yang cuba mengurat aku di kala moodku hilang ditelan senja kelam ni? aisyah adik 2007 rupenye. langsung aku menyeringai sambil menggelitik ketiaknya. hihi. ketawa kecil sebentar. herm, kembali ke mood sebelumnya. terlihat mbak2 yang wajahnya sekilas mirip mbak2 di kilang tempatku bekerja slps spm dahulu. rindu juga rupanya aku pada mereka. mb lisma mb apa lagi sorang itu ya, boleh pula aku lupa namanya sedangkan rapat bukan main nak rak. herm akhirnya ku tiba juga ke kontrakan B29 rumahku syurgaku. namun aku tetap juga tak bersemangat.

curhattt

Saya sangat sedih hari ni
Mujur saya dah call kakak saya utk curhat.
lega ckit..

ade ke patut kak huda ketawakan saya?
hins2...saaabaaa jelahhhh...

target hari ni : buat lukisan anatomi, buat farmako, baca histo exam esok
tips hari ni : tak mo pk perkara yg saya tak buat. sy akan gunakan otak saya hanya utk berfikir perkara2 yg akan saya buat!

oh, sy otw nak beli tiket balik raye.mungkin hari isnin, 29 sept 08. air asia jogja-kl. herm,moge2 ni adalah pilihan yg paling tepat, insyaAllah..

akhir kate pade diri sendiri;
chill out n cheer up toy..!

the self monologue-ing

i soo want to study rite now but there's sumthing bugging me (yeah.once in a blue moon,im a stay up-er)

am i being emotional?..
am i emotional?..
am i explosive? (i mean kuat melenting)..

in fact, in these past few days, i was deeply tested by Allah to prove that i'm also careless n forgetfull as well..wow, wut a package! to add to the flavour, eh hem.., i'm also a freak!

the truth is that they're all true.
the truth is bitter but it's true

i am emotional, dramatic, explosive,forgetful, careless n a freak.
that's me
oh my god, that's me.


i'd better change

metamorphosis

let go of my fears
sumtimes i just cant
but i wish i cud
and i'd do it quick
cos time is just too short
to let it dwells on
for too long

kenape susah sgt nk buat modul ni??

i tink im having this writer's block.or syllabus maker block.err wutever.i've been sitting in front of the laptop since after subuh dis morning yet i havent managed to start writing the asthma module yet!i just dunno how to begin with.its just ASTHMA.not sumthing major.Global Initiative For Asthma 2007.i have been looking at u since dis morning.please give cooperation.i have piles of other stuffs to be done.*sigh*.my patience is tested at its very best today.may i excell in this test ya Allah..

the usually impatient toy--->the patient thahirah
*astaghfirullah..sabar2..

the choice

haa..i choose epilepsy!
brain ade electrical activity?electric shock?sengatan listrik?
cayalah brain...subhanallah,subhanallah..

pushing the fast forward button ON..

i am declaring that my 'fast phase living' life officially launches today. so starting from today onwards no more idle thoughts nor mental torture,lazing around or doing non-beneficial activities.like usual i'll be multitasking.our thesis research is starting real soon, n my skills lab assistency for juniors' block 11 will begin next week,of course we'll have our private training with the instructor around dis week while my advanced life support training also will start it sessions dis week.according to the initial plan we'll have 3 sessions per week with 2 hours per session.dis eve will have our ALS coordination meeting and i hope dat will change(too much for a week).n the worst news is dat me n yati havent finished revising the ALS syllabus yet.arghh( in fact havent even started yet sorry to say).plus sum of the PERMAI task needs to be done.work and work.how i love adrenaline rush.huhhhuuu~!

p/s:
anatomy exam dis weekend..erkkk!

Oh tidak dilupakan, promosi PERMAI 2008(Perhimpunan Mahasiswa Islam se-Indonesia) anjuran UPIMI..visit PERMAI 2008 official website here

calming antidote 4 da rescue!

stress.
lost.
capek.
cam xsure wif wuteva im doing
betul ke ni?

relax2
straighten up ur mind
try to focus
just accept the way it is
wuteva will b will b

adekah ni one of the perfectionistic syndrome
dtg lagi?
oh, lupe pule, smlm ptg afta back from campus for assistency n mirota i had major palpitation.
(erk,adekah ini long term effect minum coffee hari2?hehhe, lbey kuang aa. haah2-->terpakse mengaku)
uh huh. cortisol dan epinephrine tinggi kah?

anxiety nak exam ee
n keje pon byk
kn hanta thesis proposal sbtu ni
n tgh siapkan report biochem
di samping lecture notes yg baru dibace beberape shj
spt biase rs menyesal tak stadi awal2
sedangkan blok endocrine n metabolism ni best
kene fahamla, takkan stakat nk hafal je
once again, im rushing things
Allah, gives me more than 24 hours
or make me a person who hates to sleep/dun need sleep,heh

dahla2,bebel je
borak2 still sempat
cubela discipline kan ckit diri
instead of suke tdo n buang mase

herm,
sudahlaah tu
bertenang2
take things easy je
go wif the flow
xyah too hard on self
bace doa bebanyak
bismillah2
insyaAllah2

+_+ ------> (",)