the pursuit of happyness

money cannot buy happiness
nor can power
happiness is just a thought away
deep down from the bottom of the heart
so choose to be happy
-anonymous

im so sleepy n feverish rite now. kak azy was warded in panti rapih last nite.n i had to attend to her.only managed to sleep over 2 proper hours where the rest is 'improper' just by putting my head on her ward bed, sleeping while sitting.i need rest but i need to study. when will i have time?the last jakarta trip jet lag still have not dimished fully.i need a massage.oh..i miss home

a (not so) quick note

still having time to be wasted, toy?

isk2..im in the middle of studying for my PA xm tomoroe,n suddenly feel like writing afta reading other people's blog in the past 30 minutes,haish,blogging CAN be infectious.i hope i can write super quick.kalo tak rase bersalah membuang2 mase sedangkan kn stadi utk PA xm n tutorial sok.hehhe

anyhow,i've already packed for my jakarta weken trip tomoroe.but not completey. jas said dat our flight is scheduled at 4pm.but didnt ask him any further extra details since i have'nt been considering this jakarta trip seriously with my exam block approaching next tuesday.how dare u toy, nk xm merayap2..yikes!hesitant but no turning back,haish toksah pk2la..

my anat exam result is out, a bit disappointed yet thankful. fancy engrossing too much on such a minor percentage contribution to the total block grade plus expecting too much wen ur not even going to the extra mile or working that hard. such typical human behaviour~! i must b realistic

suka duka di alam medika continues with tomoroe final PA xm. i was so glad dat i did well for the previous 3rd n 4th PA post tests since i had to do assignment for my 2nd post test after getting super corot (3-okay-lowest in class,hehhe).although i did study for the exam (but not that intensively la). quite frustrated dat time, but azra reminded me that u can't get everything in dis world. its such a contradiction since my 1st post test was perfect (1st time got perfect mark for PA-huhhu!-siries) though i only studied for the test 15minutes beforehand since i was busy finishing my ALS syllabus! i even skipped my class n skills lab practice to finish the syllabus okay, so not typical of me. guess dat life is so unpredictacle,u can never predict when luck is smiling upon you or when the universe is playing its cosmic joke on u. but life is still life, u learn n u move on..n for sure hard work will always pays off.that's wat i've learned, u can neva really rely on miracles and good luck charm.like wat kepam said in her previous post

Praise be always to Allah for making my laptop 'healthy' again after being ill for quite sum time which made me kinda worried. i cant play the media player n sumtimes u cant access to the net. wut worser cud happen-when ur officially broke, juggling work with neverending enough time,plus extra bonus-an ill laptop which u know cud not be fixed in the nearest time -as u have no money.it healed by itself unknowingly the way it had gotten itself sick idiopathically. guess its just minor prob, mybe sum infection or wut but it's self limiting,heh, medic terms going frenzy!alhamdulillah again for answering my prayer, O Allah..

to everyone, havva nice weken n happy studying for the reproductive system. May Allah bless u in striving towards his path, which is the path of seeking ilm..

Pray for my safe journey to and fro n dat i have plenty n enough time to finish studying.amin..

i miss these two girls.anyone seeing them can you tell them how much i miss them...

so little time!

i have so many things to write yet so little time!my day schedule ends when maghrib approaches nowadays. occupied from morning till eve. alhamdulillah to Him, at least it keeps me fulfilled. by the way, im officiallly broke. After spending money on my jakarta flight ticket.wuhuuu.have to pay for bandung ISK program as well.tasha has already asked for the deposit. yet im OFFICIALLY BROKE.herm,ya Allah may scholarship masuk cepat..

*to adek nad tersayang n dearest miss kerp..get well soon! ;)

my wishlist for today..:
ya Allah kurniakanlah aku hati yg lembut dan pemaaf..

*here's sumthing that i learnt today which i think deem sharing...

easy way may not be the best way

it is always easier to give up

than it is to keep going

it may be easier

to make excuses or

blame others for anything

that is not going as planned.

Easy way is not the best way.

Choose the path that gives you opportunities

to grow and to change.

Look out for adventures that challenge your life.

Search for the truth and discover the secrets of life..

It's up to you to create your own life!

T.H.U.R.S.D.A.Y =)

today's thursday already! how time flies swiftly.will be going to international day in fakultas ilmu budaya at 10 today to show support for cekning (kak ngah) and swarna's (mummy) food stall.

Dont forget to be happy in wutever u do. Cheer up n Don't be sad =)
Begin with the end in mind. So u'll find wut ur doing more worthwhile!

Some words of wisdom worthy of sharing (taken from mujahidah-an-nafs.blogspot ):
Your nafs (soul/desires) is your first battlefield.If you are victorious over it,then you will find the other battlefields easier.
-Imam Hasan Al-Banna

the 'mnm' mode

urgh.im so la in the 'malas nk makan' mode.but im hungry. guess that im bored with the limited choice we have here. cant i just cook?yaa.but im too lazy to go n buy the groceries.

speaking of dis,the other day (last sunday) an announcement was made by mb herny our LPQ receptionist regarding a blood donation drive held in Masjid Syuhada dat morning. So immediately after class me n doyot (doy2 da cutie) went straightaway hunting for food since we havent eaten yet and decided to participate in the donation drive. after wandering around (more likely circulating) for around ten minutes and passing by a mass of church congregation, finally we arrived at a potential eating place which sells only siomay. Neva mind, will make do with this siomay for a quick consumption. Surprisingly doy2 (who had resided in jogja 4 about 4 years) have neva tasted siomay before!heheh."oo macam rojak eee".heee.cute. Then after eating we excitedly headed to Masjid Syuhada with a heroic mission in heart to be accomplished. But unfortunately, both of us proved to have inadequate hemoglobin. erk??bia benaa mbak..the semangat me looked into the jar of unknown liquid with our blood floating around happily without any signs of submerging to the bottom. "Ga bisa mbak..maaf.."wuuu.neva had dis hindrance in my previous blood donations. If in terms of weight of course neva a problem (hehhe..). But i'm well aware that the other women in my family is anemic n had always been unable to surpass as a donator all these while except me! n now..wut? im included as well? uik.me..anemic? "kecapekan kot toy..br lepas mens ke?" nopelaa..mybe cos not been eating healthily plus frequent skipping of taking my vitamins n minerals pills supplied by my mum. i've even mismatched them. large pills from USAna, dunno which is which already (recalling me nodding hastily when mum showed wut they were-hehe). Maybe i shud start eating properly. Plus more routine supplement consumption, remind me please.

Anyway,Fani, my 5 month old pregnant fren is coming ba'da zuhur. haven't seen her in a long time. She's been busy with her work plus she had just moved to jln monjali from way far kaliurang beforehand. Havent had a chance to make a housewarming visit to her new home. After one of the Sunday taruna class insyaAllah. Have a lot to catch up with.I wonder how big her tummy is now.hee

wanna fry sumthing to eat. will make do wif wuteva it is available in the kitchen..hehe

A random dedication for the sisters

thank U sis Amel..
for ur willingness to study anatomy wif me
and taught me a lot which immediately made everything clearer
i would have slept it off if u didnt come that nite ;)
though i may have let u down in the exam..^_^

thank U sis Yati
for inspiring me with ur kindness and sincerity
without u realizing it
all the little things count..

At the other sides of the world
sum of my sisters are being tested,struggling or having difficulties..
To my particular beloved sister..
be strong my fren..turn to Him and He will guide u
(When ur sad or lonely think about how much God wants to be ur friend)
Ur not alone, dun ever feel so
im alwiz here to lend my ears
n wud like u to know that i do care
though sumtimes by only simple measures like making a du'a

And at the other sides of the globe
sum of my sisters are making wonderful progress..
in the striving and contribution towards His deen..
and i reflect upon my own self
how weak that i had become, progressing towards destruction
humiliation after humiliation that my heart had attempted
dirty...n dirtier
that's how i'm feeling from deep down inside..
forgive me Allah..for all the sins that i've tarnished the heart with
from the tiniest to the gravest
Help me Allah to recover my steps..

Taken from ayasofia's..:
"Don’t tell your problems to people: 80% don’t care about them and 20% are glad you have them."- this is life to the materialists...
But for the Muslims...
“...Help ye one another in righteousness and piety, but help ye not one another in sin and rancor: fear Allah: for Allah is strict in punishment.”
– al Maida 5:2
“The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.”
– at Tawba 9:71.

Though i may not be good in expressing wut im feeling inside,or fail in turning feelings into an array of beautiful proses..
To my sisters,
life is a test, wherever u are,whoever u become,
but it is also filled with wonderful blessings that cud neva make us have lesser gratitudes,
Count ur blessings. Subhaanallah, its just enormous..

And hereby I Thank You Allah for the constant reminders
from these gifts of life called 'sisters'..

pics n picss!

here are da pics ofthe previous s.i.s.t.a.h.o.o.d party..~

Me, fed n aini..

Gambar penindasan besar-besaran yg saya maksudkan kelmaren.Korg nampak ke mane saye?ye..yg terjepit tuu.Sy pulak jepit fed.Tgk muke fed tgh tahan sakit smbil gelak. Cari jugak belle yg nampak separuh spek matenye saje.Tp yg paling parah mestilah cik azra yg belakang sy.tinggal nmpk belang2 tudung de jek..hehe~

A must see picture!Semue org berdebar-debar dgn ape mesej yg cube kak gym sampaikan (buat kali kedue) melalui gayenye yg lain dr yg lain tuu..Perhatikan ekspresi si fed dan pong..tak menahan!heh he...
Dan gambar2 miscellaneous yg lain..(from top bottom left)
1)Makan dgn jayanye..

2)Romantic gune lilin (padahal blackout..haha)

3)Cik pembuat air yg berkarismaa

4)Kanak-kanak Riang ria makan dgn lampu kecemasan

5)Siap diri lagi..semangat!patutle grup ni menang..heh hee~

6)Para peserta charade sdg khusyuk memberi tumpuan..

Slalu2 wat lagi ye..yaay..Sisters best! (n rox..hehe).May we be sisters for life..=)

me on being philosophical

Was about to sleep. Decided to write a bit. In this past few days' amazing race that I have been enduring, I still managed to steal some moments to think about minute2 stuffs. *women.sigh~
This is just random spilling of sum bits about me n my thots

Wut do you notice about urself wen ur working hard?
I notice that I’m such a perfectionist
I notice that I can concentrate more on wut people are saying wen I dun write wut they are saying
I notice that I am a dramatic person
In one way I think that I behave like a child at times but sumtimes without realizing I cud be quite matured wen it comes to thinking (boleh tahan)
I think I have personality type A
I’m very competitive n kuat jealous since small. But growing up has taught me on how to channel my jealousy into beneficial cause and how to use it in a gud way.*wink wink*

If u have followed ur heart n have opposed to other people’s opinion on u, wut field of study wud u have taken?
I’d have taken psychology or linguistic and journalism, history or archaeology or English (though my English is not dat good.dush!)

Wut are the attitudes of people that easily disappoint u?
When people easily despise other people, tend to misjudge or prejudice and love to have grudge against others
When people practice hypocrisy. If u dun like sumthing tell it politely to my face. (Like Imam Syafii’s quote). We cud discuss it openly and maturedly. Moreover, we are adult already. Behave like one. No problems are without solution. Don gossip behind please.
When people be narrow minded
People that are extremes. Until u cannot tolerate other people

Wut are the things that u think hurts n cud cause accumulated heart misery without realizing?
When u say or act as if u care when actually u don’t. ‘I just want to seem to care but actually deep down I dun feel so, really.’
Betrayal. Although u forgive n forget, the wound still aches. The feeling still stinges.

Wut do u think is the worst thing that cud happen to a person?
When people starts to lose their own self respect. Or people starts to lose faith especially in God

Wut is the things that u feel so distant from people nowadays?
People stop to care about other people around them. And the result? They become selfish, so self absorbed and their hearts turn stone cold. Then we pretend to be happy but we’re not.

Treat other people the way u want urself to be treated..
(pesanan akhir penaja..)

Enough written for a session. Or else, me myself will become self absorbed. Hehhe. Miss gud ole days of the prophet sallallahualaihiwassalam. And missing sumthing which is lost from the insides of my heart. Miss miss and miss…
(eh...poyo juge ye entry kali ini..heh hee)

pushing the fast forward button ON..

i am declaring that my 'fast phase living' life officially launches today. so starting from today onwards no more idle thoughts nor mental torture,lazing around or doing non-beneficial activities.like usual i'll be multitasking.our thesis research is starting real soon, n my skills lab assistency for juniors' block 11 will begin next week,of course we'll have our private training with the instructor around dis week while my advanced life support training also will start it sessions dis week.according to the initial plan we'll have 3 sessions per week with 2 hours per session.dis eve will have our ALS coordination meeting and i hope dat will change(too much for a week).n the worst news is dat me n yati havent finished revising the ALS syllabus yet.arghh( in fact havent even started yet sorry to say).plus sum of the PERMAI task needs to be done.work and work.how i love adrenaline rush.huhhhuuu~!

p/s:
anatomy exam dis weekend..erkkk!

Oh tidak dilupakan, promosi PERMAI 2008(Perhimpunan Mahasiswa Islam se-Indonesia) anjuran UPIMI..visit PERMAI 2008 official website here

si.s.t.a.h.o.o.d ROX!

we had our batchmates sistahood party last nite.one thing to be said BEST GILE!!I was soo haaapppy,n the food was extremely delicioussss!-thx kak gym for da wonderful nasi ayam-sambal yg maknyuss=D,plus the ayam bbq wuz delicious too-thx mereke yg terlibat dlm pembakaran-n oso mash potato dan coleslaw yg superbbb!-thx to pong and da gang juge maya n da company~tidak lupe juge kpd si pembuat agar-agar,pembancuh air,penyedia buah-buahan (ape lg makanan ye dah lupe)juge mereka yg lain yg terlibat secare langsung mahupon tidak langsung dlm pembikinan majlis inie(akulah tuu-tanganku kepijarann.wuuu~).hahaha.tahniah juge kepade ketue program kali ini Cik Belle atas jerit perih dan kekaliberan anda.N game adalah sangat SERONOK!harharhar.gelak mcm nk pecah perutt!star of the show mestilah kak gym yg telah mengkonfiuskan semue org esp teammates CHARADEnye dgn lambaian malar hijaunye yg kelihatan seperti bye-bye tp rupe2nye adalah HAI!!hahaha.lalu gaye itu diselang-seli dgn gaye bercakap di tepon dr awal hinggalah akhir.aduhhh kak gym lain kali jgn buat cenggitu-prektis lagi k?keskeskess~

sesi-sesi mengambil gamba juga sangatlah havoc dgn minah2 kepoci juga phototaxis yg berlumba-lumba untuk mendapatkan attention dari encik kamera (hingga sanggup mencederakan teman2 sendiri-ahakss!)
all in all mmg puas hati,sangat heppy,n boleyhla dibuat lagii.thx kengkawan sume for being so wonderful n sporting!ngeee~=D
(mybe pics kan be uploaded later..)

p/s:
murottal class at 8
pharmaco report
ALS modules to be revised wif yati
thesis n thesis (i havent touched it-buwekk-so much for a must do list for the week-wuuu~)
anatomy n anatomy (aiseyy)

Grrrr...toing2..heppy weken everyone!
*udah masuk week 4 reproductive system lho...huhuuu
(2 more weeks b4 exam-h.o.w i h.a.t.e i.t~~)

rise and shine!

Hye everyone.long time no writing. Ironically I vowed to myself that I’ll write more this month but don’t we just love to break promises?human nature.heh
Apparently a lot of things have happened to me, be it internally nor externally (for the sake of being dramatic).but maybe just a few things I’d like to share here

1) I’ve been having late insomnia or trouble sleeping these past few days. I mean i'll lie down on bed n it'll take me a while to get to sleep!U’ll notice the eyebags im having (or u don’t?, haha). I look like a raccoon. Maybe I should get my sleeping lamp changed quicker. U see I’ve been sleeping with my room lamp on since the night lamp bulb perished. And the pimples too, they’re flourishing!

2) My brothers Ecad n Man have been messaging me. Man has adopted a new habit of reading Dewan Masyarakat and Dewan Siswa (isn’t it great?-of all the books!) and he’d excitingly shared it with me. Like he messaged me just to ask how many books I can read in a day (the kickpoint of opening up). I think this is the sweetest thing (I really do think so). U see, this one brother of mine is not that expressive type of a person compared to the other brother, Ecad. He’s the shy one. Man is 16 while Ecad is 13. I think he’s finally opening up. I used to remember me hiding away their Dik Cerdas, Doraemon, Ujang etc cos I cant bear seeing them rereading those stuffs over and over again.buwekk!(2nd child is alwiz the nagging type-it’s just our hobby). Made a promise to myself that I’ll give him more attention when im back in July =). And at the end of the messages he advised me to take care of myself and other sweet2 stuffs (u noe the matured exchange of words-he never did dat) and it hit on me dat, Hey, my brother is growing up! Finally, after all of these years!
* * warm smiles =)

3) The tarannum class have kickstarted. God, I just admire these people who can use their voices for good purposes of reciting the Koran. The instructors' voices are excellent.Its just an overwhelming feeling!=)

Man yang kodi cube mengimitate RADJA versus Man yg kelihatan tenang di pagi raye.Adakah dia telah menemui jati dirinya?kita saksikan nanti..heh he

condition i am in

i am under r.e.c.o.n.s.t.r.u.c.t.i.o.n