when things were so normal

emang sekarang dah x normal ke?

a simple note, a self reminder.

underwent almost a month of my clinical rotation. i've realized that:
1) TIME is a modality. for ur dunya n akhirat, once it ticks, it could never be bought back. think
about it.
2) lalai is an enemy. realize this please. it attacks u from the insides and outsides. its like sleeping
with the enemy.
3) talking and bothering about other people is a mechanism of distraction. it distracts u from
focusing on ur own weakness and life purpose. seriously dangerous.
4) i felt that some people have stopped considering that humans' lives are valuable. i wonder if i'll
ever become likewise. nauzubillah.
5) purifying the heart is the only solution to survive in this chaotic world ur living in. and its not
an easy job. it needs constant reminder from time to time.
6) there are so many things n knowledge to be memorized. its funny n scary how short lived my
memories are. figuring out ways to improve them.
7) God, dont lead me astray. im so weak. and fragile. i beg U Lord.

"Aku melihat ke syurga maka kebanyakan dari penghuni penghuninya adalah orang2 miskin. Dan aku melihat pula ke neraka, maka kelihatan olehku kebanyakan penghuninya ialah wanita." (HR Muslim)

bila rindu

when i say im undergoing the most languorous phase of my life, i really mean it. but yet, i cant help but miss this supercute missable little girl,

the girl with a plastic of jajan in her right hand, with the buncit perut and seluar senteng warna biru, how i miss! miss husna sofia...

4 days' countdown

exactly 4 days before my sis' big event. and im partially tired, after a week busy on helping to prepare the doorgifts and aparently lately got infected with upper respiratory tract infection (URTI). i cant help but recall my comprehensive test since URTI was exactly the topic i got for my clinical reasoning. uhuh. and it went bad. malaise, feverish, fluish, muscle and joint pain with a slight headache n yeah, precisely ANKLE PAIN, n a sore throat. huhu.

and my parents have started the 'kerahan tenaga' regime. spring cleaning the house. in a few days my house will be packed n jammed with relatives and friends near n far. and i havent renewed my passport yet. sadly im returning to jogja next tuesday. and im considering on going private blogging. like doyot. hehhe.

masa

meluangkan masa sebentar utk menulis. tinggal 11 hari sebelum the big day, hari ujian paling penting, hari H. (25 minus 11). rasanya sangat2 belum bersedia. dah lama xprektis dgn kwn2 main dokter2, tlg sgt2 doakan sy. smlm call mak. mak cerite ttg dirinya yg semakin sibuk (*sgt comel) dgn bilangan pelajar tuisyen yg semakin bertambah + beberapa anak jiran yg minta diajarkan mengaji (* senyum). fatimah dan kak huda pula akn pulang ke rumah esok (fatimah pulang lagi??). mak mintak sy bagi nasihat n semangat ke tma yg sering rasa dirinya inferior krn dikelilingi org2 yg hebat dan berkompetensi dkt UM tu. sy senyum lagi. adekku, jgn rasa2 grogi, buat je. then ttg man yg dah tak rmbut gondrong, rambut makin banyak, his new style for the year 2009 as last yer's prisonbreak scoffield was his 'style in theme'. husna pula semakin cerdik di tabika kemasnya, dan apparently hari2 pressure mak utk nyanyi2 bersamanya, byk betul cikgu tadika dia ajar nyanyi!
tak sangka lg 11 hari je nk balik malaysia. rindu, sangat2 rindu. dgr suara mak dpt semangat baru. kene buat sungguh2 jgn hampakan mak. kejayaan kita mestilah kegembiraan mak. sy hitung lagi masa yg sudah sia2 plus masa yg masih sisa. nampak gaya sy kene pecut! n sy kene berkorban. mungkin sy tak pergi wedding ribki di tuban ptg sabtu ni. sbb tuban tu 4jam dari jogja, mesti sy akn penat nanti stlh kembali ke jogja isnin nnti. kemudian upimi pula ada buat rihlah ke pantai, betolak ptg sbtu ini juga, mungkin sy tak pegi juga. maaf sgt2. bak kata doyot-aku rasa aku perlu masa utk diri sendiri, herm betul2. to doyot n nanie, get well soon dari luka accident! smoga Allah beri kekuatan. .

*kewajipan n tanggungjawab kita melebihi masa yg kita ada- As Syahid Hassan Al Banna.
Mampukah kita nk buang masa lagi? bagaimana nk jwb dgn malaikat mungkar dan nakir nanti?
ingat Allah, jgn sia2kan nikmat masa yg dah dikurniakan, ingat mak n ayah, jgn hampakan perasaan mereka! usaha selagi ada masa....

saya rasa cemas..

bila memikirkan hari esok, sy rasa cemas

mungkin kerana byk lagi lecture notes yg belum sy sentuh

mungkin juga kerana dh berjanji pada diri sendiri utk belajar bersungguh-sungguh since ini adalah blok terakhir sy. tambahan lagi, markah tutorial sy baru-baru ini agak jelik, memandangkan sy seolah-olah dah hilang minat pd tutorial, maklumlah, blok terakhir...teruk kan? jd plan sy adalah utk pulun ujian kali ini, tp nampak gaya, hangat2 tahi ayamlah sahaja.

selain itu, sy ada rasa cemas utk perkara-perkara lain juga. bila fikirkan hari-hari esok. and bila sesetengah perkara melibatkan perasaan org lain. rasa bersalahnya. tak sampai hati.

erm..wajar ke sy merasa cemas. tp memang itu yg saya rasa. blog sy ni mmg byk cerita pasal perasaan kan..tolong ignore je la saya..ya Allah, hilangkanlah cemas di jiwa dan hati sy ni..gantilah dgn keimanan dan keyakinan yg tiada galau ganti..doakan sy ye ujian besok..;)

i-want-the-truth!

these past few days, i get really confused thinking about some things
the world is so confusing at these times

bottomline, i want and demand the truth!and i wanna seek for the truth on my own!!